Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: my ex-bf thinks we don't have enough in common

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
    3

    my ex-bf thinks we don't have enough in common

    We only have been dating for two months but he just broke up with me last night because his main interests are in martial arts and math. He doesn't really like to do a whole ton of other things because he has aspergers so his interests are pretty narrow. But when we hang out, we always laugh and enjoy our convos together, and we like each other's personalities. Even if they aren't matched exactly. We're both introverted and have similar humors. I'm pretty easy going and I don't mind doing my own thing when he's doing his martial arts or math or whatever but he thinks we will have nothing to do together when he gets better. Right now for the past several months, he has been sick and pretty tired/fatigued alot and mostly staying at home. See the thing is he has an autoimmune disease and this has been going on for a year but he thinks that since his doctors just discovered the disease, now his doctors will put him on meds and complete this surgery he needs, that he will feel much better and be able to do martial arts and math as much as he wants. He thinks when this happens, we won't have anything in common to do with each other.

    My question is: did i make a mistake in pursuing someone who has different hobbies than me? I just didn't think its a big deal that we have different hobbies as long as when we do hang out together, we always have a good time. I just don't understand what the big deal is and I thought we could work it out as a couple as long as we have good communication. But i guess he doesn't think so.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    1,487
    Having a interest in the same hobbies works for some people. Frankly, I like having my own hobbies and prefer my SO to have his own hobbies. Did you ever make fun of his hobbies or complain about them? Because that wouldnt to be very cool.

  3. #3
    Member coconut5's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    73
    You should pursue a good person who makes you feel good, treats you well, share the same values and morals, and mostly, wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them.
    Hobbies are not a deal breaker.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
    3
    Originally Posted by jennylove
    Having a interest in the same hobbies works for some people. Frankly, I like having my own hobbies and prefer my SO to have his own hobbies. Did you ever make fun of his hobbies or complain about them? Because that wouldnt to be very cool.
    Nope, i always fully supported him and his hobbies. i always encouraged him to get involved even while he was sick and tired alot. he decided he wanted to start a martial arts club and i helped him with making the posters! but i guess that wasn't enough for
    him...

  5.  

  6. #5

    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
    3
    Originally Posted by coconut5
    You should pursue a good person who makes you feel good, treats you well, share the same values and morals, and mostly, wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them.
    Hobbies are not a deal breaker.
    yeah exactly! thats how i felt!

  7. #6
    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    central Florida
    Posts
    3,371
    Gender
    Female
    I'm going to assume these are lame excuses because he's not as into you as you are of him. It's actually important for each partner to have at least one hobby that they do separately. Being joined at the hip and doing everything together would be too much time together. You need time to miss each other a bit to keep the spark alive amongst other good things that come of having a fulfilling life besides having a partner.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    3,920
    It's a lame excuse.

    My ex used this excuse (after two years). I listed all the stuff we had in common and he said "well I like Chipotle [the restaurant] more than you and you like traveling more than me" - ie, look, we enjoy the same things, but to different degrees, and that's a problem.

    Lame excuse.


Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •