New husband left me for coworker advice needed :)

Hi, this is a bit long winded but i really need some advice. Me and my ex got married in September 2016 it was a stressful year as he had quit, got sacked from well over 5 jobs and id admit i got to the point i was fed up and didn't show him the support and love he perhaps wanted but i was sick of borrowing money because he wouldn't stick a job and i had personal problems of my own. Anyways in January this year he got a new job one he had always wanted and i thought this could be the beginning of this new exciting life after marriage we started trying for our second baby and i fell straight away. However, in february i noticed he started to change was cold, wouldn't talk to me, sleep in our bed and spend all his time talking to his new coworker on Facebook (turns out they knew each other from school) i am of course hormonal and really upset by his behaviour and questioned him he admitted he didn't feel attracted to me and left. He they began messaging me daily and it felt like he hadn't finished and there was hope he still was admandet that him and this girl were not together unfortunately at the end of april i found that he did leave me for her and he moved straight in with her and there wasn't any hope from any of the daily messages. i tried to go no contact but he would always talk me round and we would end up in the circle of him messaging me daily and i would reply. When he would pick my son up we would talk and get on and to be honest i have found it hard to understand why its gone wrong. Anyways my problem is he knows i hate this women (and deep down i know its not her fault but its easier to be angry at her then him) i had asked him to keep her away from me as he has rubbed the relationship in my face told me how leaving me was the best thing he ever did as he is now with her and i have tried so hard to be friends with him for the sake on this baby and my son (i admit i do blow up sometimes due to being hormonal and the lack of compassion he seems to have for how bad i am hurting) but on friday he turned up with this new women to drop my son off normally i collect my son from the car but stopped dead in my tracks when i saw her and went inside the house he then said to me there is no need to be awkward when she is here and i just saw red and shouted at her (again i know i was in the wrong) i have since decided that this situation will be a lot easier if i just stop all contact with him unless regarding my son something he thinks i am being unreasonable about and i should just accept that he has a new girlfriend and he is happy.

so my questions are am i being unreasonable that its still upsetting me after 4 months? and should i be making efforts to be his friend? i really don't know how I'm meant to react to this situation but i feel like he feels I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill and with my hormones I'm not sure if i am? any advice would be welcome

You are not being unreasonable by making your boundaries known. It is a good thing to only communicate with him about your children ONLY. Do not be his friend. That is not how broken marriages work. Get a divorce from the cheater. He did cheat on you, if not physically then emotionally with the other woman. He wants you to be ok with something that was a very bad decision made by him. You do not have to like this woman, but do not lead a bad example in front of your children.

Oh, hell no!

Girl, you should be absolutely No Contact with him unless it's about your children. Do not try to be his friend, do not put up with this treatment. Your husband knocked you up and then left you practically minutes into your marriage for someone else, who he thinks you should be perfectly civil to. You have no obligation to be nice or even polite to this woman, who is knowingly sleeping with a married man whose wife is pregnant. You're not making a mountain out of a molehill, but your husband is an utter and complete jack**s.

Have you started divorce proceedings? At the very least you two need to work out a custody schedule for your son and for your future little one. Remember, you do not have to have any contact with him unless it pertains to your children, and you certainly do not have to put up with his girlfriend. Would you even consider taking him back at this point? I certainly wouldn't. There are lines, and he has crossed several of them.

In the meantime, surround yourself with good. Family, friends, coworkers of your own, church members, etc. Get a support system in place, because it looks like you've just become a single mother of two.

Get yourself a lawyer, fast.

Yeah, agreed with the others, this guy is a real piece of work, and I mean nothing positive when I say that. How did he suddenly stop feeling attracted to you 6 months after you were married? How does he expect you to be happy for him when he left you for someone else while you're pregnant with his child? This is so messed up. Nobody should have to deal with this, especially not pregnant. I am sorry for you.

I have to admit that you're already handling this way better than I would. I'd feel so betrayed that I'd probably make it harder for him to see the kids until/unless he decided to be respectful and show some degree of remorse for what he's done. Not only did he break your heart but he's not even sorry about it, not trying to show respect, nothing. He won't listen to your complaints and empathise. What did you do to deserve this?

I'd tell him not to bother coming around unless he's going to show some respect. You can't make him, but I'd be a lot more forceful about it

I'd seek legal advice first, deal with the emotional stuff second.

Thank you everyone, I would love to get legal advice but unfortunately we can't get divorced until we have been married a year.. no I definitely do not want him back and I hope they are really unhappy together but this pregnancy hasn't been plain sailing and I don't need the stress of getting even or making his life hell. Suppose I should have realised he was no good when none of my family liked him... but he looked at me when my daughter was 18 months old and I was only 21 and thought no one would want me... 7 years on and I can see that was stupid that was. But we live by our mistakes I suppose.

Thank you everyone, I would love to get legal advice but unfortunately we can't get divorced until we have been married a year.. no I definitely do not want him back and I hope they are really unhappy together but this pregnancy hasn't been plain sailing and I don't need the stress of getting even or making his life hell. Suppose I should have realised he was no good when none of my family liked him... but he looked at me when my daughter was 18 months old and I was only 21 and thought no one would want me... 7 years on and I can see that was stupid that was. But we live by our mistakes I suppose.

Getting legal 'advice' isn't strictly about divorce, it's about self protection. For instance, in certain locations filing for a legal separation can protect you against any further debt incurred by the spouse. You'll need to learn your options in order to form a long-range plan, along with the best steps to take for each option.

Get the legal advice sooner rather than later, and you'll thank yourself later.

Why can't you start divorce proceeding now? I would talk to an attorney about a divorce or perhaps an annulment. This guy is no prize. You are best to be rid of him.