I really like this guy but I'm not over my ex...

I met this guy a couple of months ago and he's amazing. He's the sweetest guy I know and would do anything for me. I've told him I'm not 100% over my ex and he said that he will make me get over him by being the man of dreams (kind of cheesy lol.) But I told him I'm really scared of hurting him and that I don't want to hurt him because my all won't be on him, and I think sometimes it does hurt him but he just wants to be with me. What do I do? How can I actually 100% be with him when I'm not over my ex? He doesn't want to end things between us, I just don't know what to do...

"He doesn't want to end things between us." Have you already shared this detail with him? If so, the consequences are on him. You've given him notice. Otherwise, do the decent thing and don't use him for attention and validation. Learn to be happy single before risking someone else's feelings.

You can't give him your all if you are not over your ex and you can't force being over your ex.

This is why dating anyone else not long after a break up is never a good idea. It confuses you, it confuses the other person and it's not a good situation.

What you should do now? Ask him to wait for you and put things on hold for now. You cannot force your healing and you do need time to grieve your break up and to move on properly from it.

If this man cares about you like he says he does, he will respect that you need more time before you can get into another relationship.

It won't work any other way. You can't force yourself to care about one man if you've not healed from the last one.

Also respect the fact that this man might not wait, but that is okay too. This was never good timing for either of you and is far too rushed.

You're eventually going to break up with him. He's not right for you.

I'm a bit more concerned about the apparent lack of self respect from this new guy. However you've been honest and told him the truth and it's almost certain that this won't work out because you're not over your ex... but if he knowing this information keeps on trying to be with you and win you over, that's on him... it's his choice.

I don't think it's good to engage into relationships and sometimes dating in general when one is not over the ex yet, however. It's not good for the other person and it also can mess up our healing progress because if we date too soon we'll keep on comparing everything to the ex and how they made us feel. You also end up hurting other people if they get too attached to you.

Oh, we're in the same boats. I've been with my current bf for 9 months. Literally one week in of talking with him, and I sat on his lap and cried... I said, "I am not healed from the first boy I loved." I tried to break up with my bf Becuase of it, and he said to not worry about it. My bf told me, "what kind of a man would I be if I let you go?"

But I'll tell you... it's been 9 months with my bf and I'm still not over my ex. I'm still off bout the whole situation. And I struggle with it a lot.

As others have mentioned, I think the problem was jumping into the dating scene too quickly.

Have you had any contact with your ex while with your current bf?

Oh, we're in the same boats. I've been with my current bf for 9 months. Literally one week in of talking with him, and I sat on his lap and cried... I said, "I am not healed from the first boy I loved." I tried to break up with my bf Becuase of it, and he said to not worry about it. My bf told me, "what kind of a man would I be if I let you go?"

 

But I'll tell you... it's been 9 months with my bf and I'm still not over my ex. I'm still off bout the whole situation. And I struggle with it a lot.

 

As others have mentioned, I think the problem was jumping into the dating scene too quickly.

 

Have you had any contact with your ex while with your current bf?

No I haven't been in contact with my ex ever since meeting him. I just feel really bad and I do like him, I just know I won't be able to give him my all. Like he was like the only thing that would hurt me is us breaking up... like I don't know what to do.

Yeah I know, he doesn't really have any self respect and I want him to be happy 100% but he tells me that the only thing that would hurt him is that if we broke up.

I met this guy a couple of months ago and he's amazing. He's the sweetest guy I know and would do anything for me. I've told him I'm not 100% over my ex and he said that he will make me get over him by being the man of dreams (kind of cheesy lol.) But I told him I'm really scared of hurting him and that I don't want to hurt him because my all won't be on him, and I think sometimes it does hurt him but he just wants to be with me. What do I do? How can I actually 100% be with him when I'm not over my ex? He doesn't want to end things between us, I just don't know what to do...

You are a bit in a similar situation as me.... only I am the other side. Below is my story ...when my bf broke up because of the feelings to an old friend. I also wanted to keep him and asked him to stay .... it did not worked out

It would be nice to know your input.