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Thread: Ghosting after seeing for a month

  1. #1
    elloihallvard
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    Ghosting after seeing for a month

    I have been dating someone for one month maybe 6 dates. Last week 3 days in a row. We have been texting each single day of this month but he is so busy during the week because of the job and we donít text so much during the week, but at least we arrange dates for the weekend, ask about otherís days and he says me good night/morning. During the last 2-3 days I have kept the conversations a little bit cold since he only texts me to say good night and then says I am going to sleep (this only during this week).I find this disrespectful when smn just text smth and then says I am going to sleep if you reply.
    We have kept things so slow this month I mean just a some small kisses because I wanted this but he said he was ok with this and didnt want to rush things.
    Then he asked to do something during the weekend. I kept it cold again and said I have plans for Saturday. Then he asked about Sunday. I said just: I would love toÖ because I wanted to see him even though don't like the way he texts.
    Then he disapeared on Sunday the day of dating without saying anything.
    Is this because of me being a little bit cold (because I have too much ego to text him first but I also want him to text me more than good night or small things) or what? I donít understand. If he lost interest in me why he asked to do smth on weekend. I find disrespectful that he asked for a date and disapeared .
    Should I move on or write to him? But no way I have too much ego to write to him.Anyway what does this mean when he asks to do smthng and disapears?

  2. #2
    ThatwasThen
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    You treat him coldly and thereby not showing him that you are interested in him and then you blame him for returning your behaviour? You better let go of your ego. Why didn't you text him first and ask him if the date was still on for Sunday?

    I think the days of online dating and the sheer numbers of women available have made the days of playing hard to get a thing of the past.

    Texting to get to know someone is not a good way to get to know someone. He's been making an effort to get to know you in person. Did you forget that?

    Did you and he actually make a date for Sunday with a place to meet or was it just a "maybe" thing?

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  4. #3
    Ziggy123
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    Sounds like he's not that into You, sorry I would just move in and if he really is into you he will contact you

  5. #4
    elloihallvard
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    Actually this could be our 7th date. It is not the first one. The question was: If you still wanna keep seeing each other maybe we could do smth together tomorrow?
    I said I would love to... and he didnt respond anymore....

  6. #5
    ThatwasThen
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    Maybe we could do something tomorrow?

    That is not a concrete date. However: The bottom line is that he's likely given up on you because you are taking things too slow for him and your coldness he has had enough of.

    It takes two people to make a relationship work... not just the guy to jump through hoops for you. If you wanted to communicate more through text message in between your dates then I guess you're going to have to request such a thing, initiate some of the contact and not "act" anyway but rather communicate your needs in a way that is not over-the-top or pre-mature.

    He's likely moving on or doing the slow fade on you. Did you contact him and ask him if you were still on to do something together on Sunday?

  7. #6
    elloihallvard
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    No actually why should I call him? It is to immature to ask about weekend plans on Saturday(too late) and then disapear. And how can you not be cold when he says I'm gonna sleep now at least 3 times per week. I.m gonna sleep means let me alone.

  8. #7
    ThatwasThen
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    Quote Originally Posted by elloihallvard [Register to see the link]
    No actually why should I call him? It is to immature to ask about weekend plans on Saturday(too late) and then disapear. And how can you not be cold when he says I'm gonna sleep now at least 3 times per week. I.m gonna sleep means let me alone.
    Then you've answered your own question. Let him disappear and find someone that will jump through your one sided hoops.

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    Ziggy123
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    Maybe you can try just talking honestly with him about the situation? Ask if he is still interested and where does he see this going. Guys are usually pretty straight forward...

  11. #9
    katrina1980
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    Let it go.

    You find his behavior "cold," "disrespectful" and "immature" anyway, to which you respond coldly and immaturely yourself, so what's the point?

    You're not compatible.

    It's only been a month and handful of dates.

    Move on and find someone you actually respect and admire and vice versa.

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  13. #10
    elloihallvard
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    But he always writes to me after teh dates and thanks me and says that would be happy to see me. Maybe I am overreacting?

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