family disowned me

I am in my 60's. Two years ago one of my sisters heard through someone else that I said something mean about her. I did not say it. For the next year she carefully avoided any contact with me until I finally found out what the problem is. She didn't believe me when I denied it and my younger sisters chose to believe her rather than me and have completely disowned me. We were not raised in the best of families but I am still shocked that they won't even discuss it.

This has been incredibly painful and every time I see something on Facebook or hear about a family get together I start to grieve again. It has consumed much of my life for the last year. Clearly there is not much that I can do even though I have tried.

If I can't change anything how to I get past the grief that I feel. I have a great family of my own and wonderful friends. I have an amazing husband who has been my rock during all of this. But I still struggle with it every day.

any advice is welcomed

Then forget about them and only associate with your nieces and nephews and cousins. If they want to be petty, then there is nothing you can do. Is the person who told the sister you said something mean a friend of yours. If so, you need to confront them about it. If not then i would just focus on your husband and kids and friends and have your own family gatherings and invite everyone and if the sisters don't show, then its their loss.

I am going to print this out and read it everytime I get overwhelmed. Thank you

I am going to print this out and read it everytime I get overwhelmed. Thank you

When you relate to your nieces and nephews, pretend it never happened - send them the usual Christmas and birthday cards. Still always invite them. DO NOT bring anything up. People have a way of seeing through the BS if they wanted to and if you were always a beloved aunt - when you stop including them because of your sisters, your actions admit guilt.

I was the black sheep of my family for as long as I can remember. I had a few aunts and uncles who seemed to like me when I was a kid but they have all died off. My mother was my personal mental abuser and I left home at 18 to get away from her. I went so far as to marry a guy at 19 who I didnt really even like! I just wanted a new last name. My dad was a nice man and I suppose I was Daddy's Girl but he died when I was in my early 20s so I felt rather abandoned after that. My brother never liked me, he was 10 yrs older than me and didnt want a pesky little sister! He used to beat me up because he could.

So, I forged my own family, I married a great guy the second time around and we have two grown kids and two granddaughters. My life is with them, I dont think about any of my actual birth family. I chose to focus on my own family.

You need to do the same. You cant change other people, you can only change how you react to them and if they hurt and upset you, they are best avoided. You are not obligated in any way to have anything to do with them.

Who is this person who lied about what you said? Is it possible that you could talk to that person and ask them to straighten out this mess? chi