i'm suicidal because of my period

I just get my second period and i don't even know how i survived the first one.I'm 14 and i was kinda tomboish, and i love all sports,especially swimming. I was even considering to join the army some day. But not enymore. Now i feel so handycaped and useless because of my period and i hate the mess it makes. I'm just not ready. Just when my life became so simple and perfect,this hapend. I have no privacy i need in my own house. I don't know why i ever writing this right now because i know it won't change anything,but i thing it would be easy that way...I can't see terapist anyway. I know this is natural and i should get use to it but i can't! Is it really normal to bleed 10 days in month? I feel like lower being only because i'm women and i know the point of menstruation is to tell me am ready to have children but i don't want to! Whole this suffer is because of goddamn kid i don't want to have! I'm 14! Even thinking about it freaks me out! I feel like my purpose is only to born that kid and continue somebody's family tree. I'm not gay but i wish i'm man because their life have no promlems. I wanna save my self of humiliation of waring annoying diepers and just die. I wanna live, but not like this! I don't know why i writing this but i need to do what to do! Please help me I don't wanna die!

Well, no woman out there ever loved having her period, but this is life, not much to do about it. Technically. However, there is good news!

First of all, periods regulate themselves within a few years, so while in the beginning they may last longer, they do become shorter, some women are lucky enough to have them last only 3 days.

Then, there's birth control. There are pills out there you can use to skip periods, or intra-uterine devices that stop your bleeding for months at a time. Even if you don't go the skipping route, being on BCP will make your periods much lighter and shorter and bearable. All you need to do is get yourself to your family doctor and have them refer you to a gynecologist, they are the best to advise you on which brand would suit your needs the best and prescribe it for you. It will also help regulate your hormones, because trust me, the suicidal thoughts and depression you seem to be experiencing is at least in part due to hormonal imbalance.

You are way too young to know whether you want a kid or not - at your age, I used to think I'd have at least 2, but then grew up into that woman who didn't want any kids. You just never know.

So don't worry, there is light at the end of the tunnel. All you need to do is speak to a healthcare professional, who will be able to give you exactly the advice you need.

Depending upon your country you can be a woman in the military. I used to be in the military.

I understand it is difficult when you first get your period. I was 11 when I got mine. Depending on your country as someone said there is a lot can be done.

Birthcontrol pills really help a lot with the cramps and with the amount of blood.....

So i agree with greta, go to the doctor and get a referral for a gyneacologist they can really help you.

Other than that, well this is something every woman goes through and it certainly isn't worth ending your life over!

I don't agree with greta though, some people really do know at a young age whether or not they want kids.

I was 11 when i knew i never wanted kids, a little later i even asked my doctor to sterilize me which he wouldn't do because i was still young and would change my mind, but i never did... I'm 44 now and still feel the same on that topic!

It is indeed scary and sometimes horrible when you first start getting your period, I was 11 when mine started. They do regulate themselves over time, so it will get better. Just because your body is ready for a child doesnt mean you have to have one now or ever if that's what you want. I think you'd benefit from some medical advice so you understand better how this all works and that it's not the end of the world as you know it. No woman on the planet likes to have their period but it is how it works.

Oh, sweetie, I was there. When I started at 11 mine were 17 days long with a 3 week cycle...so 17 days on and 4-6 days off before it came right back. Mine didn't even itself out, unfortunately, and I became borderline anemic within ten months. Luckily, my mom was able to get me into her doctor and I started on the birth control pill. I was only on it for a year or two back then, and when I came off my periods were much more manageable for many years (probably about 7 days, not nearly as heavy or crampy). It did eventually creep back up to 10-13 days with terrible cramping and heavy flow, but once again BC did help with that (I had other side effects, but that's not always the case). The most recent type of BC I had was the ring, and depending on how you use it you don't have to have periods at all. That part was lovely.

There are options available. First, if you're not too squeamish or it's not culturally taboo for you, try using tampons. I find that they make being active much easier: I was able to be a lifeguard while on my period and made it through tons of band camp and other physical activities while menstruating. Also, if your cramps are really bad, see about getting a heating pad or throw a damp towel in the microwave for a few seconds at a time until it's warm and use that. Pain relieving medication can also help through the worst days.

A question for the ladies here:

Taking the birth control pills for a long time doesn't have any side effects? Isn't it dangerous to change the natural way of how the body works for a long time ....? Just curious.

A question for the ladies here:

Taking the birth control pills for a long time doesn't have any side effects? Isn't it dangerous to change the natural way of how the body works for a long time ....? Just curious.

I've had no side effects. Been on it maybe 6 or 7 years. In fact, it has smoothed my cycle (less PMS, less/no cramping, predictable periods) and helped improve my skin.

A question for the ladies here:

Taking the birth control pills for a long time doesn't have any side effects? Isn't it dangerous to change the natural way of how the body works for a long time ....? Just curious.

Taking birth control pills year after year is not a good idea. chi

Taking birth control pills year after year is not a good idea. chi

Why?

I've never heard a doctor say that, so I'm curious.

A question for the ladies here:

Taking the birth control pills for a long time doesn't have any side effects? Isn't it dangerous to change the natural way of how the body works for a long time ....? Just curious.

My first birth control had absolutely no negative side effects. It was wonderful in all ways (cleared up my acne, made my periods way less atrocious, etc.). Unfortunately, my insurance company stopped covering that brand after about a year, so my mom, doctor and I decided to see what would happen if I just went off it.

I've had a terrible time with all HBC attempts since then, which have been two types of pills and the Nuvaring. The first pill was a mini one and made me a sobbing, weeping mess. I had an utter meltdown that lasted for six hours over a two-paragraph, ungraded paper I felt unable to write (it's worth noting that writing papers is one of my easiest things). I lasted on it for a week before I stopped. The second pill made me an aggressive, angry mess; I wanted to kill anyone who crossed me, and I mean that literally and for the slightest reason. My doctor had told me to call in if I noticed any emotional side effects this time, and when I did so she said to stop it ASAP and that anger to that extreme was sometimes a possibility on it. I lasted for three days (and thankfully didn't kill anybody).

The Nuvaring was insidious. It didn't have an immediate effect on my psyche, but slowly tore me down into a depression over time. I became perpetually glum, I couldn't see any positives in my life, and everything felt exhausting and like a chore. I also gained ~15 pounds, my hair texture changed, and I stopped being attracted on a chemical level. I blame the ring for a large portion of my breakup, and the first time I was near my ex after I stopped using it I thought I was going through puberty all over again thanks to my hormones having had come back to life. I think all the side effects took about six weeks to completely fade.

That all said, some people notice none or few of these side effects. My own mother was on birth control for 20 years and had no changes other than to her menstrual cycle. My sister-in-law is actually less depressed/mood-swingy and loses weight on birth control. A lot of what I know has to be from the birth control (the two big ones are my hair texture and my chemical attraction levels) has not been backed up by any/much scientific research as yet, so keep that in mind as well. Just because it holds true for me and some others doesn't mean it holds true for everybody.

Thanks for the replies.

There are older women who take a pill (or whatever it is) which prolongs their period in order to stay "younger". Now based on this concept I assume that taking bc pills will age you faster. Just wondering...

Thanks for the replies.

 

There are older women who take a pill (or whatever it is) which prolongs their period in order to stay "younger". Now based on this concept I assume that taking bc pills will age you faster. Just wondering...

Hm, I've been taking birth control pills for over 30 years off and on ( mostly on). I am in my 50s and usually am mistaken for a woman in her 30s. So I never heard taking the pill "ages" you faster.

Could be PMS or PMDD, google and read about it to see. Also the hormones is all over the place at your age and that efects your mood, so you will get irritated, down right angry and cry alot. My tips for decreasing the irritation is using tampons, (I agree on pads, they DO suck, it's smelly, gets moist and you can feel them all the time, they shouldn't be sold if you ask me) which can be really hard at your age but with loads of practise on the insert, you'll get there.

But yeah, the tenderness of the breasts, the cramps, the bleeding, the mood swings..it IS hell, baby, it IS hell.