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Thread: Meeting a girl tomorrow, but unexpected message from her

  1. #1
    Braytc
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    Meeting a girl tomorrow, but unexpected message from her

    Me (23 male) her (23 female)

    There's a girl that I've been talking to for a few weeks on social media and started to text her about a week ago. Just to keep things short, she said what she thought about me and I told her what I thought about her and we're both looking to eventually have a serious committed relationship. Let's just say we both are attracted to eachother and she wants to do something this weekend.


    We have plans meeting tomorrow and she messaged me this tonight: "I just think I should tell you this before anything happens. There's a guy I've been seeing since February kind of as a friends with benefits type of thing and not sure if it's going anywhere but I do see him regularly. I don't know if this changes your opinion of me but I wanted to be out there open about this."


    I said like,... "okay. it really just depends, what were you expecting between us this whole time?"


    She said "i know you were looking for something serious and so am I. Obviously if we meet and hit it off, I would cut off anyone else. I'm just sort of afraid of commitment right now because of my past experiences"


    Recap: Without me really saying much, she's the one telling me how "Good I look" and giving me her number to text her without me even asking for it. I didn't really initiate much at all, she started it all which really has this whole thing feeling weird.


    What the hell is this? I don't even know what to feel, I kind of feel like if I see her I won't even be happy at all after hearing this and kind of pissy inside. To be honest, I'm not even shocked the slightest by these girls anymore. Just not sure If I should even waste my time getting invested in something like this. It just feels weird she'd be doing this with a guy for how many months and seeing him all the time yet wants to basically "Try me out" or something while knowing this the entire time. Idk if that's what you're getting also from this. Thanks!

  2. #2
    Nikego
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    Your 23, why dont YOU do some initiating with girls! Geeez.

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  4. #3
    melancholy123
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    How could you even be discussing a serious committed relationship with someone you have yet to meet? You lost me there tho I can see why you think she might be wanting to try you out even tho there's this FWB guy too. Maybe you should skip this one and find another girl who isnt setting off as many warning bells.

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  6. #4
    Scoe141
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    Eh, I wouldn't waste my time. It sounds like she wants attention. She doesn't have to tell you this.

    What's going to happen if she doesn't hit it off with you? She goes to this other dude? Being casual and going on dates is one thing. But talking about commitment one day and then telling you about some guy she's been keeping warm with is another. I mean, not to mention the fact you two have been only "talking" via social media. Which means you have no idea who this girl is. Social media isn't dating. It's a make believe world where you formulate your ideal woman by making your mind believe what it wants to. Real relationships are formed by interaction. Face to face. Not keyboard to keyboard.

    I would move on. Find someone who's less high maintenance. And if you want a successful relationship, get off social media. You'll thank me later.

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  8. #5
    Braytc
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nikego [Register to see the link]
    Your 23, why dont YOU do some initiating with girls! Geeez.
    Um... I'm the one that started the talk between us. So I did. she just gave me her number before i could even ask for it lol.

  9. #6
    Braytc
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    Quote Originally Posted by melancholy123 [Register to see the link]
    How could you even be discussing a serious committed relationship with someone you have yet to meet? You lost me there tho I can see why you think she might be wanting to try you out even tho there's this FWB guy too. Maybe you should skip this one and find another girl who isnt setting off as many warning bells.
    Maybe I typed it strangely or something. I just ment when we were talking at first we were just kind of asking eachother what we are looking for. And we both just said in general, not personally between us, that we are "SEARCHING" for a serious relationship. Idk if i typed that weird or not before

  10. #7
    Braytc
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scoe141 [Register to see the link]
    Eh, I wouldn't waste my time. It sounds like she wants attention. She doesn't have to tell you this.

    What's going to happen if she doesn't hit it off with you? She goes to this other dude? Being casual and going on dates is one thing. But talking about commitment one day and then telling you about some guy she's been keeping warm with is another. I mean, not to mention the fact you two have been only "talking" via social media. Which means you have no idea who this girl is. Social media isn't dating. It's a make believe world where you formulate your ideal woman by making your mind believe what it wants to. Real relationships are formed by interaction. Face to face. Not keyboard to keyboard.

    I would move on. Find someone who's less high maintenance. And if you want a successful relationship, get off social media. You'll thank me later.

    Which what you're saying is my first thought process. At the same time it's hard to think that a girl i have never met, is willing to tell me those things, and still willing to see me. Like there has to be a reason, as if she is truthful and ready to actually start something real and new. If she wasnt serious about me or have any interest I would think she would either 1. not talk to me (simple) or 2. not even tell me that because that's easy to do too

    Why would she be so persistent on meeting me? It just doesnt make sense unless truly interested

  11. #8
    HeartGoesOn
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    I'll just say that if you're looking for relationship material, you're not likely to find it with her.

    JMO...

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  13. #9
    Braytc
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeartGoesOn [Register to see the link]
    I'll just say that if you're looking for relationship material, you're not likely to find it with her.

    JMO...
    Which that's why im here. to get people's points of views and appreciate it! I'm in no way emotionally invested in this, just want to see what she's about instead of typing or talking to her all day through a phone. I want to see it.

    I see no harm being done in me treating it like any normal date. I'm definitely not thrilled about this at all and probably know the outcome already, but stranger things have happened.

  14. #10
    Braytc
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    So does this sound normal at all generally speaking. Like has anyone seen anything like this or think this is an okay thing for her to do? It's hard to say, like im talking to her right now as we speak and it feels like she's completely just okay about all of this as if nothing is wrong

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