Boyfriend of 1 year dont want to spend time with me or as a family

My boyfriend works Wednesday through Friday 3-11 and weekends 7-3 and off every Monday and Tuesday when he's off he never wants to go any where and do anything he just wants to stay home and sleep and play video games and talk to his friends.We have a 3 month old and and a 2 year old and we never get to do anything as a family.Every time we have to get out of the house and pay bills or go to the store he rushes me to get done because he wants to go home and relax and do nothing.I don't know if I should let him go or not im really fed up and tired of sitting at home every day after work doing nothing while he's at work and doing nothing on his days off as well he knows this but won't do nothing to change anything.He wasnt like this when we first got together.I don't even feel close to him anymore and our sex life has went down the drain when he comes in from work at night he goes to sleep that's it we have no conversation hardly at night about anything.He says he's tired all the time but honestly he gets more sleep than me he sleeps all day when he works night shift I get up all during the night with our 2 month old but according to him I get more sleep than him.I work during the week 9 to when ever I get off usually 5 or 6 and weekends 10 to when ever I get two days off a week some times one.I don't know if he's really tired or just don't want to do anything with me anymore I just feel like our relationship is boring but he does nothing to Change anything he just rather be home and I rather be out doing something I don't like to Sit around all the time.I can't drive I don't know how and he won't let me get my liscence because he's afraid I will leave him because of how every thing is going.Can someone give me advice on what to do?

Girl, go get your license! He should be supportive of you!

Yes take driving lessons and get your licence then get a new home for you and your kids. Leave Sleeping Beauty on his own.

How in the world does he not "let you" get a license? If he legit is denying you straight up freedom, then I say it's time to skidattle.

As for him being tired, of course he is. He's constantly switching between 2nd shift and 3rd shift. Studies show that alone leads to an early grave. It's very taxing on the body. Is he also taking care of the kid during "1st shift" hours while you work? If so, just add that to the tally. It's not just about the number of hours he and you comparitively get to sleep.

What line of work is he in? Will he ever get the seniority to transfer to first shift?

no he don't take care of his kid he complains when I want him to feed him during the night he lets his dad take care of him while I work and he sleeps all day and he works 1

St and 2nd shift not 3rd.He was working 1st only and they chamged it now they won't let him have 1st shift only back.

This sounds very one-sided, you must be exhausted!!!!!

Get your licence and move on, he will get worse.

I see you are a very young couple with two young children. You both work - and he probably is genuinely exhausted and overwhelmed.

Is he a good partner and father apart from this one issue of you wanting to spend more time with him out as a couple and as a family?

The license thing, well that's just silly, it's simply not his decision or not. And it would be smart for you to do that anyways, this way you can more easily run errands with the kids and get around, also easier for you to arrange to see your friends and in the case of minor or major emergencies with the kids when he's not home ( even something as simple as a trip to the doctor).

I set up couples counseling a few weeks ago for the 19 he said he would go now he backed out and said he had to work.He could of asked for the day off he's supose to be off on Mondays anyway but he didn't.I got the day off especially for that so now I have to cancel it tomorrow.

He yells at my 2 yr old because he wakes him up at times while he's asleep he yells at him to go own and get out of the bedroom.

He says I get mad over little stupid things I could be seriously mad about something and he will say its stupid but it's not stupid to me it's a big deal.

The two year old has a different dad? Where is he?

I was going to ask the same thing.

Your boyfriend of one year is not the father of the two year old? Does he resent the child?

You've been dating this guy for a year, and you already have a 3 month old baby together, plus all four of you living together with your 2 year old, ...Is that correct?

From what you're describing, your child shouldn't even be around this guy, never mind living together. I can't imagine how confused this child must be. Either way, this appears to be too much, too soon, and the chances of this working are slim to none, (imo).

My 2 yr old sees his dad we ain't together because he's abusive.

I'm detecting a pattern, here...

Also, I'm willing to bet he's resentful towards your child together. A one year old relationship with a 3 month old child..You got pregnant right after meeting this guy, right? He's probably feeling trapped, now.

Ok this makes more sense now. I didn't notice the time line when I wrote my first post, nor connect that the two year old was not his child.

That's all very fast. And I agree with HeartGoesOn.

What to do? It should be whatever is in the children's best interests. I can only imagine how difficult this is for your two year old.

Perhaps setting up your own home with the children would be best? You could facilitate a good working parenting relationship without the pressures / tensions of everybody living together.

I do have to wonder if your ex was abusive, what happens when he is around the two year old.

Do you have family as a support system ? The kids need consistency and to feel safe and secure. This is a lot of instability for a little guy.

The 2 yr olds dad loved with his parents so they help out a lot.we have equal time with him my lawyer said I couldn't take time away from his dad because he shows no signs of abusing him.

Do you think that your chid is in a healthy/safe environment? Does he help with the kids at all?

He will take care of his baby some during the day that's it he use to help take care of my 2 yr old before my 2 month old came along but he don't anymore.

^

So, what does that tell you?

I would reassess your choices in men. Doesn't sound like they are bf or father material

So when you two got together you had a one year old. One or two months into your relationship with him you got pregnant. Now you have one child that isn't his and one that is.

You two never got a chance to really get to know one another before the baby came along.

Was the baby planned? It seems awful quick to decide to have a baby with a guy you'd been dating only a month or two.

My boyfriend works Wednesday through Friday 3-11 and weekends 7-3 and off every Monday and Tuesday when he's off he never wants to go any where and do anything he just wants to stay home and sleep and play video games and talk to his friends.We have a 3 month old and and a 2 year old and we never get to do anything as a family.Every time we have to get out of the house and pay bills or go to the store he rushes me to get done because he wants to go home and relax and do nothing.I don't know if I should let him go or not im really fed up and tired of sitting at home every day after work doing nothing while he's at work and doing nothing on his days off as well he knows this but won't do nothing to change anything.He wasnt like this when we first got together.I don't even feel close to him anymore and our sex life has went down the drain when he comes in from work at night he goes to sleep that's it we have no conversation hardly at night about anything.He says he's tired all the time but honestly he gets more sleep than me he sleeps all day when he works night shift I get up all during the night with our 2 month old but according to him I get more sleep than him.I work during the week 9 to when ever I get off usually 5 or 6 and weekends 10 to when ever I get two days off a week some times one.I don't know if he's really tired or just don't want to do anything with me anymore I just feel like our relationship is boring but he does nothing to Change anything he just rather be home and I rather be out doing something I don't like to Sit around all the time.I can't drive I don't know how and he won't let me get my liscence because he's afraid I will leave him because of how every thing is going.Can someone give me advice on what to do?

You were in one abusive relationship with your first baby daddy and now you are in another one - with a guy that won't let you have a license. Why not just ask your mother or sister or someone to drive you to take the driving test. Its not your fault for how he treated you but it your fault for finding a second guy and immediately getting pregnant (if you are together a year and have a 3 month old - you had unprotected sex and got pregnant when you met him. You need to break this cycle for yourself and your children. Can you stay with a relative for a short time. Surely you make enough to get a one bedroom apartment with your job plus child support from baby daddy number one to help cover the bills for the two year old.

I would call the local women's shelter and tell them that you are in a situation with two small children two and under and your boyfriend does not allow you to leave to get a license or to drive and what you should do to not be trapped because that is what you are. He doesn't let you get one because he's afraid you will leave him.

And no more men. raise your kids and don't have a third baby daddy.

My daddy number one don't pay child support because every thing is equal.He said he researched his rights for custody and he keeps saying I can't take my 3 month old with me if I leave he keeps telling me he will stay there with him he said he can call the police and have him brought back to him because I don't have a good place to stay right now.I have been saving money to get a place.

My daddy number one don't pay child support because every thing is equal.He said he researched his rights for custody and he keeps saying I can't take my 3 month old with me if I leave he keeps telling me he will stay there with him he said he can call the police and have him brought back to him because I don't have a good place to stay right now.I have been saving money to get a place.

And what does your attorney or paralegal say about that?

Yes, you can consult a paralegal or Legal Aid for little to no cost to you.