Jump to content

New to dating. is it possible he likes me/


Imjustagirl222

Recommended Posts

Okay met a guy, i invited him over we had drinks [by my choice] went to the beach, had a sand fight, cuddled etc. He tried to sleep with me but i wasn't having it that day, so nope. We did kiss though. I didn't have any problem with it bc im not looking for a boyfriend per say. Fine with casual. Dont normally move this fast with a guy but I honestly wasnt minding it.

 

He invited me to breakfast yesterday even tho he worked until 6:30am, met up with me at 730! We went, he paid it was fun. We get along great, we can both joke and just be chill with each other. We like to pick on each other and make each other laugh. He also bought me dinner, and we ended up hooking up at his apartment. We spent all day hanging

 

I accidentally cried after [im going thru a LOT right now] it was so so so embarrassing. He held my hand though and hugged me, and cuddled me etc making sure to comfort me. He asked me if i was OK. i definitely made him feel awkward..but He was NOT mean to me about it at all. The sex kinda sucked, lol But I love hanging out with him for his personality. And I honestly enjoy his company.

 

I text him later on because he told me to txt him when I made it safely. I was like "Oh yeah" And he was like "seriously, do!". He told me we should def hangout again in the future etc.

 

And we both admitted we had a lot of fun together, he said I'm a cool *** girl whether we had sex or not. So he was never a douche to me at all. He works in customer service so hes super polite to other people as well. He seems to pay attention to me bc he'll say like i notice things about you, like you seem OCD.

 

he's not much of a texter, and he works a **** ton of hours [restaurant hours], so we dont text often at all, but together in person have g8 chemistry. I would like to continue to see him, but I am def not pushing.

 

i text him after all this today n he still replies. Im not really worried about us dating or being in a relationship ..but i also dont wanna be used u know. But he seems to actually really engage into convo with me and he listens.

Link to comment
  • Replies 138
  • Created
  • Last Reply

How is he using you? You've agreed to meet up with him and have sex with him, no strings attached. If you're not concerned about whether he wants to date you or potentially be in a relationship with you why not just keep meeting up when he has time to see you and you feel like it and if you feel like having sex, have sex (although it sounds like you're not into the sex).

Link to comment
How is he using you? You've agreed to meet up with him and have sex with him, no strings attached. If you're not concerned about whether he wants to date you or potentially be in a relationship with you why not just keep meeting up when he has time to see you and you feel like it and if you feel like having sex, have sex (although it sounds like you're not into the sex).

 

i worded that wrong. lol i meant is it possible he likes me at all? i do kinda like him but dont care if he takes it further into dating etc. he just seems to be a pretty caring person VS an to me. didnt know if that was normal for FWB or hook ups

Link to comment
i worded that wrong. lol i meant is it possible he likes me at all? i do kinda like him but dont care if he takes it further into dating etc. he just seems to be a pretty caring person VS an to me. didnt know if that was normal for FWB or hook ups

 

It sounds like he likes spending time with you and being sexual with you. The only thing that's typical about hook ups or sexual arrangements is that the two people get together when they feel like seeing each other and usually when they feel like having sex. Obviously you can also enjoy chatting, hanging out, etc. Doesn't sound like "FWB" because you just met him recently and invited him over to your place for drinks -doesn't sound like you had a good friendship first.

Link to comment

Are you concerned if you are being used? When I clicked on the thread, that's what the title said. I'm guessing you changed it.

 

Unfortunately, it's hard to tell if you are being used, or if he likes you this early on. That's something that usually takes a couple of months or more to know. The beginning is always hormones.

Link to comment
It sounds like he likes spending time with you and being sexual with you. The only thing that's typical about hook ups or sexual arrangements is that the two people get together when they feel like seeing each other and usually when they feel like having sex. Obviously you can also enjoy chatting, hanging out, etc. Doesn't sound like "FWB" because you just met him recently and invited him over to your place for drinks -doesn't sound like you had a good friendship first.

 

True. Thats what he said to me hes like i like hanging out with u whether we have sex or not, i am not using you. You are a really cool ass girl. I guess i get nervous and over think a little bit.

Link to comment
Are you concerned if you are being used? When I clicked on the thread, that's what the title said. I'm guessing you changed it.

 

Unfortunately, it's hard to tell if you are being used, or if he likes you this early on. That's something that usually takes a couple of months or more to know. The beginning is always hormones.

 

True, good point. Thanks. I was in a relationship for ten years, so i am soo out of the loop here. I guess i just felt like we clicked. All he has said that is he very indepdent, and doesnt have a lot of time to text bc of work! I just try to back off and let him text me and initiate hanging out etc

Link to comment
True. Thats what he said to me hes like i like hanging out with u whether we have sex or not, i am not using you. You are a really cool ass girl. I guess i get nervous and over think a little bit.

 

I'm still confused as to why he would be using you if you just met up to have sex because you both wanted to have sex. He seems to like hanging out with you and you've chosen to have casual sex with him. I would not buy the "too busy" part - I only dated very busy men while I was extremely busy too. People who are interested in getting to know you will make the time or tell you that they do not have the time to get to know you right now. He has time to meet up and have sex with you so if he's not too busy for that, he's not too busy to date you should he decide he is interested in dating you. Just make sure to be honest with yourself about what you want and if you want to properly date with potential for a relationship, hanging out and hooking up/drinking doesn't usually lead to that.

Link to comment
I'm still confused as to why he would be using you if you just met up to have sex because you both wanted to have sex. He seems to like hanging out with you and you've chosen to have casual sex with him. I would not buy the "too busy" part - I only dated very busy men while I was extremely busy too. People who are interested in getting to know you will make the time or tell you that they do not have the time to get to know you right now. He has time to meet up and have sex with you so if he's not too busy for that, he's not too busy to date you should he decide he is interested in dating you. Just make sure to be honest with yourself about what you want and if you want to properly date with potential for a relationship, hanging out and hooking up/drinking doesn't usually lead to that.

 

Thanks, I guess you are right. I dont normally have causal sex like that. He literally does work a lot of overnights and told me beforehand that he often works so much its hard for him to meet people. He even opened up to me about things in his past, too.

 

Should I just back off and see what happens? i guess for my case i do enjoy the attention. hes pretty affectionate. i know its early on but i cant lie that i dont like it. Lol

Link to comment
I'm still confused as to why he would be using you if you just met up to have sex because you both wanted to have sex. He seems to like hanging out with you and you've chosen to have casual sex with him. I would not buy the "too busy" part - I only dated very busy men while I was extremely busy too. People who are interested in getting to know you will make the time or tell you that they do not have the time to get to know you right now. He has time to meet up and have sex with you so if he's not too busy for that, he's not too busy to date you should he decide he is interested in dating you. Just make sure to be honest with yourself about what you want and if you want to properly date with potential for a relationship, hanging out and hooking up/drinking doesn't usually lead to that.

 

Yea u are right! i do believe he is truly busy he told me before hand he often works so much he has not too much time to meet people, to where he is even hardly around to clean his own apartment. I kinda wanna at least be friends, but im not sure how that'll go, if he would be up to it.

 

I'd think if he was interested I guess he would be texting me more? I guess i'll wait and see if he asks me to hangout again.

Link to comment

Sounds like he's not going to give you a straight answer, unfortunately.

 

It may be too late for you to back off at this point. You're already kinda sprung. I guess just ride this one out and next time try to rein in those hormones (easier said than done). I know you're new to the dating game. Right now, you probably think he's THE ONE. But you'll see that there are plenty of others out there to feel giddy about. If you keep yourself in check, it'll be easier to navigate the ups and downs of dating.

Link to comment
last night i text him if he wanted this to be a one night stand, and that im an open honest person and i like keeping things honest. he ignored the message and just replied to the one before that where i said aside from crying, i had a fun day. and he said he had fun as well

 

But open and honest doesn't mean you have to choose to share all your thoughts and feelings with this new person. Try not to overshare. Being honest doesn't mean letting it all hang out it just means not lying including by omission -being truthful in what you choose to share.

Link to comment
But open and honest doesn't mean you have to choose to share all your thoughts and feelings with this new person. Try not to overshare. Being honest doesn't mean letting it all hang out it just means not lying including by omission -being truthful in what you choose to share.

 

I am really bad at that! Ok you are right. So I think I will try to do that! Bad habit of oversharing. I end up meeting idiots often because i way overshare among other things.

Link to comment
I am really bad at that! Ok you are right. So I think I will try to do that! Bad habit of oversharing. I end up meeting idiots often because i way overshare among other things.

 

Yes and I would stop the tears too if at all possible with new people you are trying to get to know. Although it worked for Scarlett in Gone With the Wind for her tendency to faint/almost faint to get male attention ;-)

Link to comment
Yes and I would stop the tears too if at all possible with new people you are trying to get to know. Although it worked for Scarlett in Gone With the Wind for her tendency to faint/almost faint to get male attention ;-)

 

ive never cried in front of a guy like that. i got out of a ten year relationship and it just overwhelmed me. it was so embarrassing

Link to comment
ive never cried in front of a guy like that. i got out of a ten year relationship and it just overwhelmed me. it was so embarrassing

 

I understand and I was referring to you texting him about having been crying. So that is the second time in a short amount of time that you are sharing with him that you are crying. He probably didn't even know how to respond to that.

Link to comment
I understand and I was referring to you texting him about having been crying. So that is the second time in a short amount of time that you are sharing with him that you are crying. He probably didn't even know how to respond to that.

 

oh crap. yeah i need a how to date for dummies book.

 

it seems like he doesnt really text me real convos, usually random stuff.

 

like last night "i'm at __ eating dinner." and then he'll ask me how my day was, and stuff but its so short.

 

today he didnt even text me, i just said I was at the best place ever the beach! he just said "Yay! I'm jealous"

 

So if he was truly interested wouldnt he be contacting me more?

Link to comment

If he was interested in dating you he'd be asking you out on dates he plans in advance.

 

Check out Dr. Joy Browne's book Dating for Dummies (not because I think you are a dummy!!! but because it's a great book from all I've heard and I know of the author -she passed away, tragically, last fall but was an awesome psychologist and person)

Link to comment
If he was interested in dating you he'd be asking you out on dates he plans in advance.

 

Check out Dr. Joy Browne's book Dating for Dummies (not because I think you are a dummy!!! but because it's a great book from all I've heard and I know of the author -she passed away, tragically, last fall but was an awesome psychologist and person)

 

i shall check it out!

 

so pretty much straight forward -- he doesnt wanna date me, and just got what he wanted im assuming.

 

i assumed otherwise bc he still talks to me afterwards. Ugh. I will be a single cat lady for life haha

Link to comment

Well, no, you were open to having casual sex and hookups with him - he's allowed to assume you're cool with it. If he's not asking you out on dates then he's not interested in dating you right now. That could change in the future but not if you're available as his chat buddy over text.

Link to comment

i felt like he was asking me out, he said he'd like to take me to dinner and then shoot pool with me!

 

that turned into come to my apartment, i'll cook dinner for you and we can watch a netflix show i had been wanting to watch.

 

then i said id rather hangout in public, and he said okay wanna do breakfast. so took me to breakfast then asked me if i wanted to come over, i said yes because we had fun at breakfast.

 

and im guessing before he left when he said "lets hangout again in the future" yeah...i think that means never hahah

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...