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Thread: New to dating. is it possible he likes me/

  1. #1
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    New to dating. is it possible he likes me/

    Okay met a guy, i invited him over we had drinks [by my choice] went to the beach, had a sand fight, cuddled etc. He tried to sleep with me but i wasn't having it that day, so nope. We did kiss though. I didn't have any problem with it bc im not looking for a boyfriend per say. Fine with casual. Dont normally move this fast with a guy but I honestly wasnt minding it.

    He invited me to breakfast yesterday even tho he worked until 6:30am, met up with me at 730! We went, he paid it was fun. We get along great, we can both joke and just be chill with each other. We like to pick on each other and make each other laugh. He also bought me dinner, and we ended up hooking up at his apartment. We spent all day hanging

    I accidentally cried after [im going thru a LOT right now] it was so so so embarrassing. He held my hand though and hugged me, and cuddled me etc making sure to comfort me. He asked me if i was OK. i definitely made him feel awkward..but He was NOT mean to me about it at all. The sex kinda sucked, lol But I love hanging out with him for his personality. And I honestly enjoy his company.

    I text him later on because he told me to txt him when I made it safely. I was like "Oh yeah" And he was like "seriously, do!". He told me we should def hangout again in the future etc.

    And we both admitted we had a lot of fun together, he said I'm a cool *** girl whether we had sex or not. So he was never a douche to me at all. He works in customer service so hes super polite to other people as well. He seems to pay attention to me bc he'll say like i notice things about you, like you seem OCD.

    he's not much of a texter, and he works a **** ton of hours [restaurant hours], so we dont text often at all, but together in person have g8 chemistry. I would like to continue to see him, but I am def not pushing.

    i text him after all this today n he still replies. Im not really worried about us dating or being in a relationship ..but i also dont wanna be used u know. But he seems to actually really engage into convo with me and he listens.

  2. #2
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    How is he using you? You've agreed to meet up with him and have sex with him, no strings attached. If you're not concerned about whether he wants to date you or potentially be in a relationship with you why not just keep meeting up when he has time to see you and you feel like it and if you feel like having sex, have sex (although it sounds like you're not into the sex).

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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    How is he using you? You've agreed to meet up with him and have sex with him, no strings attached. If you're not concerned about whether he wants to date you or potentially be in a relationship with you why not just keep meeting up when he has time to see you and you feel like it and if you feel like having sex, have sex (although it sounds like you're not into the sex).
    i worded that wrong. lol i meant is it possible he likes me at all? i do kinda like him but dont care if he takes it further into dating etc. he just seems to be a pretty caring person VS an to me. didnt know if that was normal for FWB or hook ups

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    Originally Posted by Imjustagirl222
    i worded that wrong. lol i meant is it possible he likes me at all? i do kinda like him but dont care if he takes it further into dating etc. he just seems to be a pretty caring person VS an to me. didnt know if that was normal for FWB or hook ups
    It sounds like he likes spending time with you and being sexual with you. The only thing that's typical about hook ups or sexual arrangements is that the two people get together when they feel like seeing each other and usually when they feel like having sex. Obviously you can also enjoy chatting, hanging out, etc. Doesn't sound like "FWB" because you just met him recently and invited him over to your place for drinks -doesn't sound like you had a good friendship first.

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    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Are you concerned if you are being used? When I clicked on the thread, that's what the title said. I'm guessing you changed it.

    Unfortunately, it's hard to tell if you are being used, or if he likes you this early on. That's something that usually takes a couple of months or more to know. The beginning is always hormones.

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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    It sounds like he likes spending time with you and being sexual with you. The only thing that's typical about hook ups or sexual arrangements is that the two people get together when they feel like seeing each other and usually when they feel like having sex. Obviously you can also enjoy chatting, hanging out, etc. Doesn't sound like "FWB" because you just met him recently and invited him over to your place for drinks -doesn't sound like you had a good friendship first.
    True. Thats what he said to me hes like i like hanging out with u whether we have sex or not, i am not using you. You are a really cool ass girl. I guess i get nervous and over think a little bit.

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    Originally Posted by Jibralta
    Are you concerned if you are being used? When I clicked on the thread, that's what the title said. I'm guessing you changed it.

    Unfortunately, it's hard to tell if you are being used, or if he likes you this early on. That's something that usually takes a couple of months or more to know. The beginning is always hormones.
    True, good point. Thanks. I was in a relationship for ten years, so i am soo out of the loop here. I guess i just felt like we clicked. All he has said that is he very indepdent, and doesnt have a lot of time to text bc of work! I just try to back off and let him text me and initiate hanging out etc

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    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    I know. It's hard not to get caught up in the excitement of things. But try your best to slow your roll. Especially in a situation like this, where you don't really know him. People are all kinds of surprising.

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    Originally Posted by Imjustagirl222
    True. Thats what he said to me hes like i like hanging out with u whether we have sex or not, i am not using you. You are a really cool ass girl. I guess i get nervous and over think a little bit.
    I'm still confused as to why he would be using you if you just met up to have sex because you both wanted to have sex. He seems to like hanging out with you and you've chosen to have casual sex with him. I would not buy the "too busy" part - I only dated very busy men while I was extremely busy too. People who are interested in getting to know you will make the time or tell you that they do not have the time to get to know you right now. He has time to meet up and have sex with you so if he's not too busy for that, he's not too busy to date you should he decide he is interested in dating you. Just make sure to be honest with yourself about what you want and if you want to properly date with potential for a relationship, hanging out and hooking up/drinking doesn't usually lead to that.

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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    I'm still confused as to why he would be using you if you just met up to have sex because you both wanted to have sex. He seems to like hanging out with you and you've chosen to have casual sex with him. I would not buy the "too busy" part - I only dated very busy men while I was extremely busy too. People who are interested in getting to know you will make the time or tell you that they do not have the time to get to know you right now. He has time to meet up and have sex with you so if he's not too busy for that, he's not too busy to date you should he decide he is interested in dating you. Just make sure to be honest with yourself about what you want and if you want to properly date with potential for a relationship, hanging out and hooking up/drinking doesn't usually lead to that.
    Thanks, I guess you are right. I dont normally have causal sex like that. He literally does work a lot of overnights and told me beforehand that he often works so much its hard for him to meet people. He even opened up to me about things in his past, too.

    Should I just back off and see what happens? i guess for my case i do enjoy the attention. hes pretty affectionate. i know its early on but i cant lie that i dont like it. Lol

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