PLEASE HELP any men out there that are attracted to just one woman?

I was just wondering if there is any men out there that are attracted to just one woman?

I recently went on my boyfriends phone to show him this video on instagram and when the search bar came up there was his history underneath it with sooooo many women he had searched that were completely perfect, air brushed, boob and bum implants the lot. It even has who's profile you go on the most and some profiles were above mine. I am such an insecure person to begin with and I know its such a ugly trait and I'd give anything in the whole world to not feel insecure but I can't help it, and it just made me feel sick and cry.

He said its normal for all men to look at porn which i get and would be less upset at than the images of these perfect women. I just feel if he is looking at these images all the time of course he is going to compare me to them and become resentful of me for not looking this way; he has already said he wishes i were skinnier. And he also doesn't seem to grasp the fact that these women aren't real, I asked him why he liked fake boobs etc. and he said the women he looks at just work really hard to get their physique and he likes looking at them because their perfectness turns him on. I study architecture and waitress and i find it so hard to put focus on exercise and looking like these women alongside balancing life. He is a sponsored athlete so him looking good is just a product of him working hard to achieve his goals, but its the opposite for me since working hard is mainly sitting at a desk. I'm 70kg and do martial arts 2-3 times a week and I know I'm overweight but i also don't feel my size is a major health concern, but he'll say things like I just want you to get healthy. He doesn't seem to understand that this puts so much pressure on me on top of all of the other things i have to worry about and once again makes me feel not good enough.

He says he thinks that most women are beautiful and he looks at these images for 'novelty' and that he would never cheat on me. He is respectful to me, he doesn't stare massively at beautiful women or like womens photos on social media, but for me this sometimes isn't enough. Physical loyalty is not enough if he is constantly mentally fantasising about these other women and how much better they are. I really don't understand why he doesn't just break up with me, because I would if i was fantasising about someone else.

I just really want a man that doesn't think other women are beautiful and that thinks I'm perfect. looks at me and thinks I'm amazing and enough and he doesn't need to look at perfect women to get off. He says I'm acting like a deluded 4 year old and that all men fantasise about other women and i literally felt like someone had just told me Santa wasn't real. There has to be some men out there?????? I really feel I'm not asking for too much, I don't look at porn, I don't find other men attractive and I think his body is perfect in every way possible. I just want someone who feels the same. I literally don't even care about porn it didn't bother me once in past relationships but I fee with him it is something more, maybe its because now I've see the people he looks at and know he likes them for their perfectness and that i will never compare, I don't know. Am I just stupidly looking for some man to be obsessed with me and thats never going to happen?

I feel so low and insecure right now, this really upsets me and i cannot for the life of me understand why, i thought it was just my time of the month but its been a few weeks that I've been feeling like this. I've always hated cheaters because I've been cheated on before by my ex and my friend but right now i can actually understand it because I just want that sensation of a man making me feel like theres no one else and telling me I'm beautiful and its so annoyng because thats literally what all of them women on instagram get constantly all day from men like my boyfriend when they are neglecting me.

I know i am crazy and don't think anyone has read my ramblings but and any advice you could give me to make me less crazy or even why i am crazy or even if you you understand my craziness would be so helpful

I couldn't read your whole post because in the end it doesn't matter.

Are you telling me you do not find ANY other guy out there attractive? No actors, celebrities, strangers on the street?

ETA: your weight is fine, and him pressuring you is more of a problem (imo) than him looking at other women.

As a woman ive only been really attracted to a few men. Im really attracted to my current guy. I think you should find yourself a new man! The right man will boost your selfworth 10fold!

You have unrealistic expectations. If you expect other people to behave the way you do you will be very disappointed. This is a problem within yourself. He is not doing anything wrong. Finding other people attractive is normal and healthy. I think you need to work on yourself and your insecurity instead of taking it out on him.

I don't want a man who looks at me and thinks I'm perfect.....I want a man who looks at all my flaws and sees color, depth, character, life experience, interest and LOVES all of me, flaws and all. Perfect doesn't exist and ultimately, it's kind of bland if you really think about it. Those photos he is looking at aren't the real women, they are made up, photoshoped, airbrushed avatars. Some so extreme it's actually comical and grotesque. It might be entertaining for him, but real life needs more substance than an airbrushed avatar. So I hope that you understand somehow that you will ALWAYS bring more to the table than an avatar.

I understand that. I feel that way too. I just feel like he doesn't and thats what bothers me. He puts them on this pedestal and says they are natural and real and just work hard. Maybe I just need a more intellectual guy that understands and appreciates real beauty instead of a zombie sucked into the current beauty standards idk.

I can look at a man and say if i think he's handsome, but like a pretty pattern not in a sexual way. I wouldn't sit and jack off to a photo of a guy because I'm way more attracted to personality and if they pursue me if you know what i mean

I understand that. I feel that way too. I just feel like he doesn't and thats what bothers me. He puts them on this pedestal and says they are natural and real and just work hard. Maybe I just need a more intellectual guy that understands and appreciates real beauty instead of a zombie sucked into the current beauty standards idk.

Then sounds like you really are dating the wrong kind of a guy for you and need to look for someone better.

I understand that. I feel that way too. I just feel like he doesn't and thats what bothers me. He puts them on this pedestal and says they are natural and real and just work hard. Maybe I just need a more intellectual guy that understands and appreciates real beauty instead of a zombie sucked into the current beauty standards idk.

So, a man whose ancestors didn't evolve on planet Earth? That informs what we tend to find atttactive as much as some "current beauty standard." Men are biologically programmed to look at other women. Like, literally, we can't help it. In the end, who we go home to matters more than anything.

Now, if he's throwing these women in your face and saying "why can't you look like this?" that's not OK. You did mention too that he has brought up your weight, which I think is wrong. In that case, I think it would be fair game to find some images of air-brushed guys with perfect abs and pecs and tell him that "with a little effort" he could look like them but that he currently does not, so maybe you won't hold him to impossible standards if he will give you the same courtesy.

Now, I admit I didn't have the patience to quite read your whole post, so I may have missed some key points. But in the end, yes, we all look. You women all look too. It's nothing personal and is unfair to make your insecurities your partner's problem.

Yeah but the ones he was looking at are the current beauty standard of skinny as with massive boob and butt implants. The current beauty standard is that currently and it changes every few years--- a lot quicker than evolution. There must be men that are repulsed by women getting plastics and poisons put inside themselves in order to look a certain way for men? Because I want a man like that. I couldn't care less if he noticed if a girl is pretty, I just don't want him to visualise himself ing her and get off to it? Or if he must do that then at least be intelligent enough to like real women and not an 'avatar'??

So many men say that thing about its who you go home to but they don't get that I would be so much happier and have so much higher self esteem alone than have a man come home to me thats been thinking about other women all day.

However, its becoming pretty clear that this kind of man doesn't exist.....

but he'll say things like I just want you to get healthy. He doesn't seem to understand that this puts so much pressure on me on top of all of the other things i have to worry about and once again makes me feel not good enough.

I wish all the other posters would stop shaming him for expressing what he wants. It's not like he's asking her to change the color of her skin. This is something she can control and he's expressing his preference. There's nothing wrong with this.

You are completely right. He is completely free to go and find a skinny skank. Just don't understand why he doesn't.

You are completely right. He is completely free to go and find a skinny skank. Just don't understand why he doesn't.

You really need to stop this hateful language. He's allowed to be attracted to whatever he likes. People are allowed to present themselves however they like. Just because it isn't what YOU decide doesn't make it wrong or bad. Women shouldn't tear each other down.

I wish all the other posters would stop shaming him for expressing what he wants. It's not like he's asking her to change the color of her skin. This is something she can control and he's expressing his preference. There's nothing wrong with this.

Something requiring change of another person in general is wrong. Suggesting it once, fine. But pressuring a partner to change is wrong.

You are completely right. He is completely free to go and find a skinny skank. Just don't understand why he doesn't.

Something requiring change of another person in general is wrong. Suggesting it once, fine. But pressuring a partner to change is wrong.

I don't get that impression from her post.

I can use whatever language I like, thats my right just like acting like a skank is theres. Honestly this has been super helpful, men are pigs that can't control themselves and I'm going to be so much better off without them ing with my head

I can use whatever language I like, thats my right just like acting like a skank is theres. Honestly this has been super helpful, men are pigs that can't control themselves and I'm going to be so much better off without them ing with my head

Well if you continue acting like this you will remain single.

There are plenty of men who are great guys. There are plenty of women that are manipulative. There are plenty of good and bad in any category.

You can say what you want - but I was trying to point something out that is not a great quality.

Yeah but the ones he was looking at are the current beauty standard of skinny as with massive boob and butt implants. The current beauty standard is that currently and it changes every few years--- a lot quicker than evolution. There must be men that are repulsed by women getting plastics and poisons put inside themselves in order to look a certain way for men? Because I want a man like that. I couldn't care less if he noticed if a girl is pretty, I just don't want him to visualise himself ing her and get off to it? Or if he must do that then at least be intelligent enough to like real women and not an 'avatar'??

So many men say that thing about its who you go home to but they don't get that I would be so much happier and have so much higher self esteem alone than have a man come home to me thats been thinking about other women all day.

However, its becoming pretty clear that this kind of man doesn't exist.....

It sounds like your body issues are serving as a full on nuclear power plant for your insecurity and, frankly, hate.

Yeah so forgive me for considering the source before chalking up any woman rocking healthy curves as simply being skinny bimbos filling their bodies with implants and toxins. A good many models put in a lot of hard work, out squatting men at the gym for that ass of theirs.

 

It sounds like your body issues are serving as a full on nuclear power plant for your insecurity and, frankly, hate.

Sorry, didn't realise you were there and seen the photos of the women that clearly were fake?? But, another man jumping in to defend the poor little skank. Clearly I have massive hatred of myself and issues or else i wouldn't be on here. Its clearly not the skanks fault I'm not blaming her, its always the mans fault. But she's still a frigging skank.

So, a man whose ancestors didn't evolve on planet Earth? That informs what we tend to find atttactive as much as some "current beauty standard." Men are biologically programmed to look at other women. Like, literally, we can't help it. In the end, who we go home to matters more than anything.

 

Now, if he's throwing these women in your face and saying "why can't you look like this?" that's not OK. You did mention too that he has brought up your weight, which I think is wrong. In that case, I think it would be fair game to find some images of air-brushed guys with perfect abs and pecs and tell him that "with a little effort" he could look like them but that he currently does not, so maybe you won't hold him to impossible standards if he will give you the same courtesy.

 

Now, I admit I didn't have the patience to quite read your whole post, so I may have missed some key points. But in the end, yes, we all look. You women all look too. It's nothing personal and is unfair to make your insecurities your partner's problem.

^^ this is a man's point of view... (Thank you Krankor ... )

Mustlovedogs has written a lot of valid points too (sorry not sure how to multi-select quotes yet) - you have to be more gentle with how you talk about other women and more importantly be gentle on yourself.

Men are not stupid, 99.5% are aware that those girls are photoshopped and possibly manipulated or fake, just as much as they are aware that 99.9% of real girls use that "beauty" app on their selfies. Doesn't make these girls skanks or horrible, it's just life - even animals in the animal kingdom preen themselves to make them look more attractive... some are more successful than others..

Everyone has fantasies, some are of the opposite sex, some are of swimming in jello... it's not really our business, especially if it's not affecting us.

If you are so insecure about this, break up with him and work on yourself until you don't care what others think... Most men are attracted to confident women, continuous jealously is a turnoff (I think... may need a man to verify this).

Please don't take this as judgement, I say this only to help. I know all about insecurities, I have a very long list of things that are wrong about myself, but that list is for me and for me to work on - not my friends or family to lift from me (they would seriously laugh at me), thing is nearly everyone has them... You are being judgmental by calling them names - it comes across as aggressive.

My goodness!

First of all, of course there are guys out there who aren't into the whole fake boobs/butt/photoshop look. There are guys who prefer natural women.

Second, how the hell would you feel if one of those girls your boyfriend is looking at on Insta were to message him that he needs to "drop that fat cow" or "lose the tub of lard"? Pretty bad, I'd imagine. So why are you calling them such derogatory names as "skinny skank"?

IMO, this has almost nothing to do with your boyfriend and an awful lot to do with your own insecurities. Be warned that when you let them play up like this, you're liable to chase away even guys who are into your exact look. You'll always find something wrong with yourself and believe that he wants/can do better. If your boyfriend is this super-hot athlete and he's with someone like you, there's likely a very good reason for it. In my experience, athletes with fit bods can get any hottie they want if they smile and flirt enough, yet he's staying with you. Focus on that, maybe ask him what he likes about you, and play that up in your mind and in his.

How old are the two of you?

^^ If you are so insecure about this, break up with him and work on yourself until you don't care what others think... Most men are attracted to confident women, continuous jealously is a turnoff (I think... may need a man to verify this).

.

For me, a lot of jealousy and insecurity is a turn off. Especially if it's accompanied by cattiness about other women. I had a girlfriend several years ago who hated Katy Perry because I had a celebrity crush on her and was constantly cutting her down. It wasn't cute--it was annoying. As if Katy Perry was actual competition for her.

My last two girlfriends looked completely different. The first one had long, dark hair and blue eyes. She was thin and tall with long legs. The second one was a little shorter and stockier with shoulder length blonde hair and green eyes. She wasn't fat but honestly she was a little "meatier" than her predecessor. But I was turned on by both of them for their good features--I loved the second one having more boobs and booty, tbh. When you are into someone you tend to accentuate their good features and you really don't care about their imperfections.

We can be attracted to many people, but only want to be with one.

I might think the girl down the road had an amazing body, but choose not to do anything about it.

As for people on the screen, if you see Johnny Depp on the screen you might feel attracted to him. Your BF might not be as good looking and rich as he is, but that doesn't mean that your about to track down Mr Depp and leave your BF and I'm sure your BF knows that. In the same way the actresses on the screen might be subject of private fantasy, but he's choosing to be with you in real life.

As for looks, yes they're important. But the elements of personality, moral integrity and compatibility are just as important perhaps more so.

A woman who's striving for her best mentally and physically, who's a good person and emotionally responsible, is far more attractive to me in real life than a young woman who has simply been blessed with good looks.