Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 6 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 58

Thread: PLEASE HELP any men out there that are attracted to just one woman?

  1. #1
    mayviolet

    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
    7

    Exclamation PLEASE HELP any men out there that are attracted to just one woman?

    I was just wondering if there is any men out there that are attracted to just one woman?

    I recently went on my boyfriends phone to show him this video on instagram and when the search bar came up there was his history underneath it with sooooo many women he had searched that were completely perfect, air brushed, boob and bum implants the lot. It even has who's profile you go on the most and some profiles were above mine. I am such an insecure person to begin with and I know its such a ugly trait and I'd give anything in the whole world to not feel insecure but I can't help it, and it just made me feel sick and cry.

    He said its normal for all men to look at porn which i get and would be less upset at than the images of these perfect women. I just feel if he is looking at these images all the time of course he is going to compare me to them and become resentful of me for not looking this way; he has already said he wishes i were skinnier. And he also doesn't seem to grasp the fact that these women aren't real, I asked him why he liked fake boobs etc. and he said the women he looks at just work really hard to get their physique and he likes looking at them because their perfectness turns him on. I study architecture and waitress and i find it so hard to put focus on exercise and looking like these women alongside balancing life. He is a sponsored athlete so him looking good is just a product of him working hard to achieve his goals, but its the opposite for me since working hard is mainly sitting at a desk. I'm 70kg and do martial arts 2-3 times a week and I know I'm overweight but i also don't feel my size is a major health concern, but he'll say things like I just want you to get healthy. He doesn't seem to understand that this puts so much pressure on me on top of all of the other things i have to worry about and once again makes me feel not good enough.

    He says he thinks that most women are beautiful and he looks at these images for 'novelty' and that he would never cheat on me. He is respectful to me, he doesn't stare massively at beautiful women or like womens photos on social media, but for me this sometimes isn't enough. Physical loyalty is not enough if he is constantly mentally fantasising about these other women and how much better they are. I really don't understand why he doesn't just break up with me, because I would if i was fantasising about someone else.

    I just really want a man that doesn't think other women are beautiful and that thinks I'm perfect. looks at me and thinks I'm amazing and enough and he doesn't need to look at perfect women to get off. He says I'm acting like a deluded 4 year old and that all men fantasise about other women and i literally felt like someone had just told me Santa wasn't real. There has to be some men out there?????? I really feel I'm not asking for too much, I don't look at porn, I don't find other men attractive and I think his body is perfect in every way possible. I just want someone who feels the same. I literally don't even care about porn it didn't bother me once in past relationships but I fee with him it is something more, maybe its because now I've see the people he looks at and know he likes them for their perfectness and that i will never compare, I don't know. Am I just stupidly looking for some man to be obsessed with me and thats never going to happen?

    I feel so low and insecure right now, this really upsets me and i cannot for the life of me understand why, i thought it was just my time of the month but its been a few weeks that I've been feeling like this. I've always hated cheaters because I've been cheated on before by my ex and my friend but right now i can actually understand it because I just want that sensation of a man making me feel like theres no one else and telling me I'm beautiful and its so annoyng because thats literally what all of them women on instagram get constantly all day from men like my boyfriend when they are neglecting me.

    I know i am crazy and don't think anyone has read my ramblings but and any advice you could give me to make me less crazy or even why i am crazy or even if you you understand my craziness would be so helpful

  2. #2
    mustlovedogs
    Platinum Member mustlovedogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Posts
    2,642

    PLEASE HELP any men out there that are attracted to just one woman?

    I couldn't read your whole post because in the end it doesn't matter.

    Are you telling me you do not find ANY other guy out there attractive? No actors, celebrities, strangers on the street?

    ETA: your weight is fine, and him pressuring you is more of a problem (imo) than him looking at other women.

  3. #3
    Nikego
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Posts
    59
    As a woman ive only been really attracted to a few men. Im really attracted to my current guy. I think you should find yourself a new man! The right man will boost your selfworth 10fold!

  4. #4
    Iggy5129
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Age
    31
    Posts
    1,266
    Gender
    Female
    You have unrealistic expectations. If you expect other people to behave the way you do you will be very disappointed. This is a problem within yourself. He is not doing anything wrong. Finding other people attractive is normal and healthy. I think you need to work on yourself and your insecurity instead of taking it out on him.

  5. #5
    DancingFool
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    7,314
    Gender
    Female
    I don't want a man who looks at me and thinks I'm perfect.....I want a man who looks at all my flaws and sees color, depth, character, life experience, interest and LOVES all of me, flaws and all. Perfect doesn't exist and ultimately, it's kind of bland if you really think about it. Those photos he is looking at aren't the real women, they are made up, photoshoped, airbrushed avatars. Some so extreme it's actually comical and grotesque. It might be entertaining for him, but real life needs more substance than an airbrushed avatar. So I hope that you understand somehow that you will ALWAYS bring more to the table than an avatar.

  6. #6
    mayviolet

    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
    7
    I understand that. I feel that way too. I just feel like he doesn't and thats what bothers me. He puts them on this pedestal and says they are natural and real and just work hard. Maybe I just need a more intellectual guy that understands and appreciates real beauty instead of a zombie sucked into the current beauty standards idk.

  7. #7
    mayviolet

    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
    7
    I can look at a man and say if i think he's handsome, but like a pretty pattern not in a sexual way. I wouldn't sit and jack off to a photo of a guy because I'm way more attracted to personality and if they pursue me if you know what i mean

  8. #8
    DancingFool
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Wilds of Texas
    Posts
    7,314
    Gender
    Female
    Quote Originally Posted by mayviolet [Register to see the link]
    I understand that. I feel that way too. I just feel like he doesn't and thats what bothers me. He puts them on this pedestal and says they are natural and real and just work hard. Maybe I just need a more intellectual guy that understands and appreciates real beauty instead of a zombie sucked into the current beauty standards idk.
    Then sounds like you really are dating the wrong kind of a guy for you and need to look for someone better.

  9. #9
    Krankor
    Platinum Member Krankor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    1,043
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by mayviolet [Register to see the link]
    I understand that. I feel that way too. I just feel like he doesn't and thats what bothers me. He puts them on this pedestal and says they are natural and real and just work hard. Maybe I just need a more intellectual guy that understands and appreciates real beauty instead of a zombie sucked into the current beauty standards idk.
    So, a man whose ancestors didn't evolve on planet Earth? That informs what we tend to find atttactive as much as some "current beauty standard." Men are biologically programmed to look at other women. Like, literally, we can't help it. In the end, who we go home to matters more than anything.

    Now, if he's throwing these women in your face and saying "why can't you look like this?" that's not OK. You did mention too that he has brought up your weight, which I think is wrong. In that case, I think it would be fair game to find some images of air-brushed guys with perfect abs and pecs and tell him that "with a little effort" he could look like them but that he currently does not, so maybe you won't hold him to impossible standards if he will give you the same courtesy.

    Now, I admit I didn't have the patience to quite read your whole post, so I may have missed some key points. But in the end, yes, we all look. You women all look too. It's nothing personal and is unfair to make your insecurities your partner's problem.

  10. #10
    mayviolet

    Join Date
    Jun 2017
    Posts
    7
    Yeah but the ones he was looking at are the current beauty standard of skinny as with massive boob and butt implants. The current beauty standard is that currently and it changes every few years--- a lot quicker than evolution. There must be men that are repulsed by women getting plastics and poisons put inside themselves in order to look a certain way for men? Because I want a man like that. I couldn't care less if he noticed if a girl is pretty, I just don't want him to visualise himself ing her and get off to it? Or if he must do that then at least be intelligent enough to like real women and not an 'avatar'??
    So many men say that thing about its who you go home to but they don't get that I would be so much happier and have so much higher self esteem alone than have a man come home to me thats been thinking about other women all day.
    However, its becoming pretty clear that this kind of man doesn't exist.....

  11.  

Page 1 of 6 1234 ... LastLast
Top Threads
Why wont he just let me be?
I fell for my colleague 9 months ago and we nearly kissed but I stopped it because we were both in long term relationships (please dont judge
How do you get over your first love ?
Our relationship lasted several years We were each otherís firsts this is this third time we broke up and I know itís for good , there is absolutely
Poisenous Love
Hi, Well basically, I am a very shy, selfcritical character, who cares more about others than himself. This past year has been utter hell. My
She's indicating love but she says she wants to be a spinster her whole life
So she says that she wants to be a spinster, travel the world. But hear this, I've known her since I was 10, she a couple months ago. Started texting
Featured Threads
Is he just telling me what I want to hear?
I've posted on here a few times regarding my relationship. I finally built up the courage to break up with him. It's now been 5 weeks, yet due to our
Did the Psychologist get this wrong??
Me and my boyfriend have been together 8 years. We have not married or had kids yet which is more because of me in the sense I don't feel ready. He
Woman I'm dating revealed a lot about her sexual past
Hi Everyone, I'm a 28 year old male and have been going out with a 28 year old woman for about a month. Things have been going well and we have
Too Fussy?
So on my journey of recovering from a series of abusive and rubbish relationships Iíve come up with a list of deal breakers and a list of minimum
Is there still hope? Wanting to get back with Ex
I feel my hope of getting back with my ex is over for good. We broke up 12 months ago. I did the breaking up and during that time I've been begging
Sexual Chemistry or Comfort
Hi Everyone: I feel guilty for asking this, but here goes: I'm the type of person who is always in a relationship, most of the time they're
advice welcome
Hi all. Been with my wife for 20yrs, married 13yrs. Due to problems on both sides we split up in September. 2 weeks later she is in a rebound and
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •