Family Court Experiences

Any experiences be helpful. Pro/Cons. Child Custody. Mediation. Mutual Agreements etc....

I know it varies In different states. I'm in Hawaii. Me and my ex been seperated for about a month. For our own reasons. Think she choose someone else, which is obvious. We have a 2 1/2 year daughter. My ex moved out two weeks ago. We are in mutual agreements. I have her 1/2 day Mon/Thurs and full day am/pm tues and Wednesday.

We sometimes agree I see her a different day for a few hours. Ex keeps changing her mind. She refuse to except diapers/food when I bring my daughter back.

My ex move back with her parents. We been living together in a home for about 4 months.

Now I have the house to myself. She took more than 90% of my daughter belongings.

Unfortunately.

Reason why I'm posting we both agree on contacts for my daughter on the days I watch her or she watch her. Video chat/pictures etc. Being civilized and mutual. Only daughter communicating.

I haven't talk to my daughter the past 3 days.

Sent a text to my ex each day. "Can I talk to my daughter?" She ignored it all. Ignored my video calls. I'm not blowing her phone up. Just 1 text and 1 video call.

Very frustrating. I'm holding my breath. I don't wanna go crazy! I look her social media. She is with the other person and my Daughter. But still refuse my communication to my daughter.

Yes I'm documenting everything.

Would like to know when I need to really hire a lawyer? Since the break up its still fresh.

Yes I'm seeing a therapist as well.

Threw out this time. I'm gathering photos of Me and my daughter together in a picture. Receipts. Text messages saved. Pay stubs that I was depositing money in my daughter account ever since she was born. Receipts of baby sitting I paid for.

I do not call anymore, last call was maybe a week ago. All In text now. And I have a calendar logging things down. Hours I have my Daughter etc...

Just need to know what else I need?

She refuse mediation or something to be notarized for our mutual agreements.

My two co-workers told me hold your breath!

They both went court and it's ugly and frustrating and a lot of money. If both parents can be civil. Avoid court!

Thanks!

Talk to a lawyer ASAP and research the laws in your state so you have a good understanding of your rights as a father.

EDIT: Were you and your ex married or just living together?

Yes you need a lawyer, you need a legal document stating what days you have the child and who is paying for what, anything and everything to do with the child. Save all your receipts, make notes of anything you think needs documenting. You need to know your rights and obligations and so does she.

Definitely talk to a lawyer. They're going to be the best source of advice.

Unbiased (meaning, just the facts) documentation is good to keep.

Keep your conversations with your ex limited to the necessary - your daughter, settling of joint financial concerns, etc. Preferably over text or email, and keep those things.

It doesn't sound like either of you wants to be vindictive at the moment, but that can change in a heartbeat. The only person you can control is yourself, so make sure that you're doing your part to always display the behavior and temperament toward your ex that is best for your daughter, regardless of your feelings.

Yes, it is better to work things out with the mother when possible. It avoids a lot of fuss and saves a bunch of money in attorney fees. However, this woman is showing that she will not cooperate with you. You have no choice You could have done it the easy way if she was cooperative, but she is not. You will have to go about this the hard way. Start by seeing an attorney. chi

We live 10 minutes away. Thank goodness. We aren't married either.

It's not the 1st time she didn't let me talk to my child. If she's mad at me or wants the day to herself. She will refuse my contact to my daughter for me to talk to her. She did it on last week Saturday. I was supposed to see my kid last week Sunday as well but she change her mind.

I hold my breath.

I'm saving $ at this time, dont have enough yet for a lawyer. I know she can't afford one at this time. Trying to sell some items I have to have enough for a retainer fee. I'm giving her a lot of chances to avoid frustrations and arguments. But making me frustrated and making my documents looking good of not letting me communicate with my daughter.

Should I mention again, mediation to her? I want to be civil as I can. At this stage she doesn't wanna see my face or hear my voice. Yes I did the no no before to make it work. My fault. I tried.

Update: found out she was working yesterday. My close friend works with her. I usually watch my kid in the mornings. She did not let me or say anything to me if I want to watch her. Hold my breath. My friend gave me their phone hotline of their schedules for that day. I recorded it and document it.

She said whenever she works. I can watch her in the mornings because I do work in the afternoons.

She probably let her mom watch the kid.

Wish me luck. About to pick up my daughter soon! Please note my ex said

"Don't force her to go if she wants to stay with mama"

Didn't text back. I'll have my voice recorder in my pocket when I pick her up.