Self Care Box

Hello everyone,

 

My focus at the moment is further development of a self care routine.

 

I aim to put together a self care box to aid with this routine and to reach for in times of particular distress.

 

I have a few ideas of what I will put in my box including items to stimulate different senses, items to alleviate stress and wind down and items to aid in distraction and be creative. Such as:

 

Essential oils

Colouring book

Green tea

Hand cream

Calligraphy pen

Book of inspiring quotes

Journal

Candles

Photos

 

Any further suggestions much appreciated.

This is a beautiful idea. Perhaps a favourite DVD?

That's an interesting concept! Do you see yourself doing something like that long term or is this just something to jumpstart?

 

My self-care box would have sneakers, leggings and a sweat-proof t-shirt, a water bottle, some kind of device to listen to music/podcasts with headphones, lavender oil, an eye mask, ground coffee beans and whatever book/magazine I'm reading at the moment.

 

I guess it also depends how you define "self-care" - this sounds more like a box with stress-relievers as opposed to general self-care which we need even when we're relaxed/centered (or, I guess preventive measures).

What a lovely idea! I might have to copy you!

Mindfulness guide

Relaxation tapes? (not even sure if they exist anymore haha)

Something that helps me with anxiety, if that's something you struggle with, is something to fiddle with like a stress ball or a small toy to get out the nerves.

Piggybacking on Ziggy's suggestion - another tactile, pleasing item, such as an impossibly soft blanket or small pillow, which you might further be able to scent to your tastes. Something you keep tucked away and only use when you access your happy box, so the association remains positive.

 

You're so creative, thornz!

Piggybacking on Ziggy's suggestion - another tactile, pleasing item, such as an impossibly soft blanket or small pillow, which you might further be able to scent to your tastes. Something you keep tucked away and only use when you access your happy box, so the association remains positive.

 

You're so creative, thornz! i second this. i have an oversized sweatshirt that is surprisingly soft on the inside. i can't be anxious in that if i try.

I also find that fitted, fuzzy socks -like a weighted blanket -are very calming.

I would put a favorite healthy, but delicious! -- snack in it, for nibbling (maybe small individual squares of dark chocolate); a favorite scent (either a candle, or essential oil, or cologne to sniff); something soft/soothing to hold or cuddle (yeah, I'm 46 years old, but I'd probably put a fluffy little stuffed toy in there!); a favorite book of poems, stories, or affirmations/meditations; some favorite photos; an object that has a happy significance for me (either something from my childhood or from some other happy time); something that makes a soothing sound (I have a little stuffed bird that chirps, and a favorite music box that I got in Europe -- things like that); something that makes me laugh (maybe a funny cartoon, or picture, or silly object); hand/foot cream; comfy socks; maybe a favorite facial mask (I use these a lot when I want to relax and pamper myself).

 

My box would have to be a large moving box!

Some very good suggestions! As much as I'd like to take credit for the idea, I got it off YouTube.

 

I would like to have the box as an addition to my self care routine so that when I'm feeling particularly vulnerable or distressed I can hopefully reach for my this and work my way through it.

 

Tryptophan rich treats were a suggestion I have seen online plus essential oil play dough and a little microwaveable heated wheat pad.

 

I think I might also like to add a contact book reminding me to get in touch with loved ones.

 

I think what's best is to cater the box to your individual concerns when you're feeling upset. When I'm distressed I get very cold and shivery so the heated pad would be great for me! I guess I need to learn my own uplifting practices in order to know what to put in the box.

 

I learnt the other day that distraction is a healthy coping mechanism (I wrongly assumed this wasn't the case) and that it's only avoidance that is negative!

 

I could put things like this on cards in my box plus achievements.

 

Keep the suggestions coming.

 

I have been told to do volunteer work to help my recovery and meet people in a relatable situation. Maybe creating self care boxes to take to women's refuge/ homeless shelters/ food banks would be a good thing to do? Or even for my friends?

I learnt the other day that distraction is a healthy coping mechanism (I wrongly assumed this wasn't the case) and that it's only avoidance that is negative!

 

I could put things like this on cards in my box plus achievements.

 

Keep the suggestions coming.

 

I have been told to do volunteer work to help my recovery and meet people in a relatable situation. Maybe creating self care boxes to take to women's refuge/ homeless shelters/ food banks would be a good thing to do? Or even for my friends?

i'm glad you brought this up. i used to be deeply averse to these self-soothing rituals, because they are regressive. i find that is seldom needed for more than a few minutes, and prefer active self-care in my "toolbox", than passive self-soothing. however, i remember you talking about getting over heartbreak, and self-care seems fitting in situations like that, as does self-soothing. and you seem to have a good balance.

 

i like the idea of sharing them with NGOs and shelters!

i'm glad you brought this up. i used to be deeply averse to these self-soothing rituals, because they are regressive. i find that is seldom needed for more than a few minutes, and prefer active self-care in my "toolbox", than passive self-soothing. however, i remember you talking about getting over heartbreak, and self-care seems fitting in situations like that, as does self-soothing. and you seem to have a good balance.

 

i like the idea of sharing them with NGOs and shelters!

 

Can you elaborate on what you mean by active self care Vs passive, regressive self soothing?

self-soothing are activities that give one almost a sense of "safety of the womb" ( sincere apologies for the anachronistic psychobabble lol), such as wrapping oneself in a fluffy blanket, or offer one a sense of security with "transitional objects" (someone mentioned plush toys- children use these or a favorite blankey as transitional objects).

it is absolutely normal for adults to reach for those at times (in fact, if you think about it, you will identify many transitional objects or womb-like dens that adults frequently use for this purpose), and in a sense healthy too, if they are learning that they are the person responsible for their own comfort, soothing, self-love etc.

 

it is excessive when one regresses into these rituals of comfort to the point of self-sabotage. if a ritual helps you meet life head-on, it has been a helpful one. if it helps you feel a sense of emotional autonomy and self-worth next time someone or something challenges your emotions, it has been a helpful one. if it makes you just want to go hide in your pillow fort and never deal with people and responsibilities again, you'd benefit from different kinds of self-care.

 

if you can put your finger on what the inner conflict that upset you to the point of needing extra comfort was, you can choose appropriate self-care. personally, i used to regress when i had to face a situation that made me feel bullied or intimidated. when i realized it was linked to deep feelings of shame and guilt, and worked on those, i went from seeking passive comfort in these situations, to activity- i finally felt clean as a whistle, conscious-wise, and ready to face the pope himself and dare him to judge me or guilt-trip me. so exposure, and purposefully tackling intimidating tasks until i felt like i'd have a good laugh at the expense of whoever dared to pick on me, was active self-help, and it was fitting that it gradually replaced passive self-soothing.

 

i think you summed it up best yourself- it is a problem when it encourages you to be avoidant. if you can answer a few simple questions for yourself when you reach for your tools, you can avoid that trap. do you deserve rest? rest then, that is self-love. do you deserve to stop sabotaging yourself and underestimating your ability to take the next step? then it is self-love to empower yourself to do that, even just an inch forward.

 

i think i remember you saying you're getting therapy, trying to reach out to others when appropriate, minding your diet, it sounds like you're doing it all. it is taxing and takes a while, so "pampering" yourself moderately may actually prevent you from burning out before you get there.

self-soothing are activities that give one almost a sense of "safety of the womb" ( sincere apologies for the anachronistic psychobabble lol), such as wrapping oneself in a fluffy blanket, or offer one a sense of security with "transitional objects" (someone mentioned plush toys- children use these or a favorite blankey as transitional objects).

it is absolutely normal for adults to reach for those at times (in fact, if you think about it, you will identify many transitional objects or womb-like dens that adults frequently use for this purpose), and in a sense healthy too, if they are learning that they are the person responsible for their own comfort, soothing, self-love etc.

 

it is excessive when one regresses into these rituals of comfort to the point of self-sabotage. if a ritual helps you meet life head-on, it has been a helpful one. if it helps you feel a sense of emotional autonomy and self-worth next time someone or something challenges your emotions, it has been a helpful one. if it makes you just want to go hide in your pillow fort and never deal with people and responsibilities again, you'd benefit from different kinds of self-care.

 

if you can put your finger on what the inner conflict that upset you to the point of needing extra comfort was, you can choose appropriate self-care. personally, i used to regress when i had to face a situation that made me feel bullied or intimidated. when i realized it was linked to deep feelings of shame and guilt, and worked on those, i went from seeking passive comfort in these situations, to activity- i finally felt clean as a whistle, conscious-wise, and ready to face the pope himself and dare him to judge me or guilt-trip me. so exposure, and purposefully tackling intimidating tasks until i felt like i'd have a good laugh at the expense of whoever dared to pick on me, was active self-help, and it was fitting that it gradually replaced passive self-soothing.

 

i think you summed it up best yourself- it is a problem when it encourages you to be avoidant. if you can answer a few simple questions for yourself when you reach for your tools, you can avoid that trap. do you deserve rest? rest then, that is self-love. do you deserve to stop sabotaging yourself and underestimating your ability to take the next step? then it is self-love to empower yourself to do that, even just an inch forward.

 

i think i remember you saying you're getting therapy, trying to reach out to others when appropriate, minding your diet, it sounds like you're doing it all. it is taxing and takes a while, so "pampering" yourself moderately may actually prevent you from burning out before you get there.

 

Yes I'm aware of my potential to burn out due to my multi-pronged approach and having quite a lot on my plate at the moment.

 

I would like to discover the different negative feelings that cause me distress and the most appropriate action to counter or accept them and fill my box with not only soothing fluffy things. I would like my box to contain the physical items that can help me, plus pointers towards the non physical behaviours and activities that will aid in my recovery and promote better reactions to my negative thoughts and feelings until it hopefully becomes a natural response.

 

That is why I would like to put quotes, photos, contact details etc in there.

Some very good suggestions! As much as I'd like to take credit for the idea, I got it off YouTube.

 

I would like to have the box as an addition to my self care routine so that when I'm feeling particularly vulnerable or distressed I can hopefully reach for my this and work my way through it.

 

Tryptophan rich treats were a suggestion I have seen online plus essential oil play dough and a little microwaveable heated wheat pad.

 

I think I might also like to add a contact book reminding me to get in touch with loved ones.

 

I think what's best is to cater the box to your individual concerns when you're feeling upset. When I'm distressed I get very cold and shivery so the heated pad would be great for me! I guess I need to learn my own uplifting practices in order to know what to put in the box.

 

I learnt the other day that distraction is a healthy coping mechanism (I wrongly assumed this wasn't the case) and that it's only avoidance that is negative!

 

I could put things like this on cards in my box plus achievements.

 

Keep the suggestions coming.

 

I have been told to do volunteer work to help my recovery and meet people in a relatable situation. Maybe creating self care boxes to take to women's refuge/ homeless shelters/ food banks would be a good thing to do? Or even for my friends?

 

So, do you think your focus on what to put in a self-care box is in itself distracting? It's interesting and more than, for sure but in your case is it delaying the implementation of any of your plan?

I would not create self-care boxes for strangers without checking first with the shelter/agency whether that would be appropriate or helpful. Often they need cooking oil and whole grain foods and basic toiletries (what my building is collecting right now for a shelter) than "self-care" items.

So, do you think your focus on what to put in a self-care box is in itself distracting? It's interesting and more than, for sure but in your case is it delaying the implementation of any of your plan?

I would not create self-care boxes for strangers without checking first with the shelter/agency whether that would be appropriate or helpful. Often they need cooking oil and whole grain foods and basic toiletries (what my building is collecting right now for a shelter) than "self-care" items.

 

Yes I would check first and I would likely put more essential self care items in such as deodorant and tampons etc.

 

At the moment, due to losing my job I'm trying to avoid the urge to splurge. I was looking for an appropriate box the other day and they were £20, that's before we get started with the contents!

 

I've started my list and will put the items I already have in some random box for now. Yes it's distracting and somewhat soothing in itself. I think it's part of the process.

I would not create self-care boxes for strangers without checking first with the shelter/agency whether that would be appropriate or helpful. Often they need cooking oil and whole grain foods and basic toiletries (what my building is collecting right now for a shelter) than "self-care" items.

true. however, if you find joy in assembling them, i would consider group homes for the developmentally delayed. we have more than a few where i work, and because a lot of the pts function from the id, immediate soothing is often sought, and delayed gratification almost impossible a concept to instill into them, due to the fact it simply falls under a stage they were unable to develop to. even with lots of staff present, it isn't really possible to go about one's work having them literally cling to you for unreasonable amounts of time. they do thrive on transitional objects (staff are by far the most favorite transitional objects, lol, plus we have a very patient work cat, who is frequently monopolized by the pts with developmental delay), and any soothing distraction is welcome. i'm sure they wouldn't mind stuff that helps the pts self-soothe? (btw, at our place, nobody ever expected fancy packaging, don't worry about that at all!)

 

ps if you're going the personal hygiene items route, ask about adult diapers or incontinence pads. i swear there's a black hole eating those up. be sure to check the price first, to see if it's even something you can afford in this situation. they're quite expensive where i live.

true. however, if you find joy in assembling them, i would consider group homes for the developmentally delayed. we have more than a few where i work, and because a lot of the pts function from the id, immediate soothing is often sought, and delayed gratification almost impossible a concept to instill into them, due to the fact it simply falls under a stage they were unable to develop to. even with lots of staff present, it isn't really possible to go about one's work having them literally cling to you for unreasonable amounts of time. they do thrive on transitional objects (staff are by far the most favorite transitional objects, lol, plus we have a very patient work cat, who is frequently monopolized by the pts with developmental delay), and any soothing distraction is welcome. i'm sure they wouldn't mind stuff that helps the pts self-soothe? (btw, at our place, nobody ever expected fancy packaging, don't worry about that at all!)

 

ps if you're going the personal hygiene items route, ask about adult diapers or incontinence pads. i swear there's a black hole eating those up. be sure to check the price first, to see if it's even something you can afford in this situation. they're quite expensive where i live.

 

I think I'm going to create personalised self care boxes for my two best friends when I have a job. I do enjoy making gifts for people, especially crafty stuff.

If you're in distress, it might be hard to find the energy even to use these beautiful items, so I suggest making the items ready to use. E.g. a journal with a pretty calligraphy pen already attached to it, and the words "Today I feel" already written on the page. A portable DVD player with your favorite movie pre-loaded and you just have to turn it on and press play . A coloring book with colored pencils clipped to it, so you don't have to hunt around your house for them. Something like that, I dunno. Hope it helps!

If you're in distress, it might be hard to find the energy even to use these beautiful items, so I suggest making the items ready to use. E.g. a journal with a pretty calligraphy pen already attached to it, and the words "Today I feel" already written on the page. A portable DVD player with your favorite movie pre-loaded and you just have to turn it on and press play . A coloring book with colored pencils clipped to it, so you don't have to hunt around your house for them. Something like that, I dunno. Hope it helps!

 

Thanks, I'm going to fill the box with healthy ways to manage my feelings and behaviours. I'm going to have to push myself to learn to motivate myself when I am distressed because in the real world I can't hide away and watch DVD's whenever I have an 'episode' which can be multiple times a day after triggering events.

 

My best friend bought me an Art Deco magnetic journal so that will be going in there!

 

This might sound strange but I can't really watch DVD's or listen to music when I'm recovering from a triggering event. I find I interpret everything negatively and end up ruining enjoyable songs. I don't enjoy eating either. Not fun