Is there a way to bring up this sexual problem with a new woman?

Basically I haven't been able to get it up with women a lot so the doctor prescribed Cialis to me, which has helped a lot. However, when I am with a new girl, and one that I like and am into, I cannot tell if she is going to want to have sex that night or not. I mean you can't just ask a woman, cause that kind of puts them on the spot, and most women you have to go into foreplay, and wait and see what happens. If it doesn't happen, great, that's fine, there's no rush. However, I have to take the pill, at least one hour in advance in order for it to work, and I don't even know if sex is going to happen. So I will keep assuming that it will go all the way, just in case it does.

 

But if doesn't, it adds up to a lot of money down the drain cause it's 25 dollars a pill where I live. Not that I'm saying the woman is money down the drain, certainly not. But with the pills themselves it is, cause it adds up overtime. Plus a lot of women get turned off that a guy needs an hour or more of foreplay to get an erection, if sex is going to happen, since I need to wait for the pill take effect. But I don't want to take the pill long before any foreplay happens, cause then I am less likely to know if sex is going to happen at all, at that point.

 

Another thing is, is that the medication also causes sleep deprivation as a side effect, so I don't want to take it unless I am sure, cause then I will have insomnia that night, when sex didn't even happen anyway it turns out.

 

So is a way to establish with a woman if sex is going to happen, more than an hour in advance, without turning her off, or putting her on the spot about it?

I wouldn't bring it up.. it's only going to Cause her to doubt things and it's still so early she might find it easier to move on from you before she gets too attached.

I'd just play it by ear, it's usually pretty obvious if they are down for sex. Just drag out the lead up if you need to

I usually find that it's obvious when the pants come off, but other than that, I cannot tell, as I have had it go the other way, and turned out they just wanted to do a lot of making out for the night.

If it seems like sex may be on the table (because you're making out/fooling around/whatever), just ask something like "are you on birth control?" Her response will indicate if she's interested in sex. If she is, excuse yourself to the restroom briefly, take the pill, then take it slow till you're good to go.

Okay thanks, that might be a good way of going about it. However, in my experience, a lot of women still find it strange, and perhaps a turn off, that I take an hour long of foreplay to get hard, once I have taken the pill in the restroom. Is there anything I can do about that?

Okay thanks, that might be a good way of going about it. However, in my experience, a lot of women still find it strange, and perhaps a turn off, that I take an hour long of foreplay to get hard, once I have taken the pill in the restroom. Is there anything I can do about that?

 

If she asks you why it's taking so long, just be confident. "I have to take a pill to help me perform, but don't worry - it just means I have more time to take care of you."

 

If I was ready to sleep with a guy, I wouldn't care at that point if he needs a pill. Just be confident.

Okay thanks. It's just that when I had this conversation with my women friends, they acted all turned off of the idea of the pill, saying they wouldn't want to continue with a guy that didn't find that attractive enough, that they wouldn't need assistance from a pill.

Honesty is always the best policy.

Ideally you should be sleeping with one woman who knows you really well as this arrangement isn't going to work anymore for one nighters or flings.

Do you have any plans on getting into a long term relationship or do you want to?

 

I think in your situation, it makes the most sense to find one woman and have a serious relationship.

Other than that, you will just have to play it by ear and tell whomever straight out that you need an hour or so due to needing to take a pill. Yeah it's not romantic but it's the truth. You can't hide that, nor should you.

I would be honest about it.

 

I have a Cialis story about a guy I was dating. (Funny, it's Cialis specifically, not Viagra). Anyway, after a few dates with a guy, we had had a nice day and evening, but his profile was still active, and mine too, and I only have sex monogamously, so in my mind, we weren't there yet. I stepped out of the car to pay the meter, and I saw that he opened his glove box, took out a box of Cialis pills and took one. He didn't think I'd notice. I was so turned off by it, I pulled the "So tired, early meeting" on him. I wish he had just asked me.

Oh yeah. Well sometimes I am afraid to be honest cause a lot of women think of it as a dealbreaker, based on my female friends opinions, when they asked. But why is it such a dealbreaker? I mean one time I was dating a woman who had a hard time getting wet, cause she was shy she said. So she just used lube. Now I didn't think of this as a dealbreaker, I just accepted her condition and went with it, but why is it a dealbreaker for women more so, if that's the case?

I have dated a guy that needed the pill also, it wasn't a deal breaker for me, but not holding a job was. They make Cialis to be taken in a daily bases so then you are always ready.

I'm in a relationship with a guy that needs to take a pill. I don't mind. It takes time to adjust to losing spontaneity bit the sex is great regardless

Oh okay.

 

Well how do I know if the woman wants sex though? I mean I am seeing a woman now and haven't told her I'm on the pill. In my experience, women before did not like giving prior confirmation that day, if they were going to want to have sex later. They just preferred spontaneity. This new one is very much the spontaneous type, so if I tell her I am taking the pill, how do I have her be okay with giving me prior confirmation? Cause I can only take guesses, and I have been wasting pills, on days where it turns out she doesn't feel like it.

This new one is very much the spontaneous type, so if I tell her I am taking the pill, how do I have her be okay with giving me prior confirmation?

 

Are you looking to pursue a relationship with this woman? Or just a f-buddy?

 

If a relationship, just be honest with her. Her reaction will determine if you should continue onward together, or if you should stop wasting your time on someone who clearly doesn't respect you and the fact you're not 100% perfect (because NO ONE IS!!!)

Okay thanks. Well the problem with the pills is, is that they take too long to take effect. For example, I am seeing a new girl now and it was our first time, and I took the pill an hour before, cause that's how long it takes for the pill to take effect. But her sister came by for a surprise visit so I couldn't do anything then of course.

 

Do you think I should do foreplay with the woman and once the clothes come off, then go to the bathroom and take the pill? Cause if I do then, that's a much bigger guarantee that the costly pill will not go to waste. But the draw back is, is that I have to go back into the bedroom and do foreplay for an hour before it takes effect. What do you think?

I know this doesn't answer your question, but can you use a pill cutter and take half the pill earlier and then the rest after you have more "certainty"? If you were wrong you only lost 1/2 the money. If you're right there should be less of a delay before the effect is complete. Also see if your urologist has free samples of the pills, some do.

How about let things progress naturally. Once you get to the point you are engaged in a heavy make out session and petting, just leave it at that and don't rush the next step.

It's more than likely things will go all the way the next time you see her.

In between times have a talk with her. .while you are vertical, of course.

I know this doesn't answer your question, but can you use a pill cutter and take half the pill earlier and then the rest after you have more "certainty"? If you were wrong you only lost 1/2 the money. If you're right there should be less of a delay before the effect is complete. Also see if your urologist has free samples of the pills, some do.

 

Okay thanks. It's funny you mentioned this cause I thought of it and tried, the last time. It turned out sex was the on table. So I took the other half of the pill, after already taking half earlier. However, I still needed over an hour of making out, before I got an erection. Even if I take half earlier, it still takes a long time, it seems.

Okay thanks. It's funny you mentioned this cause I thought of it and tried, the last time. It turned out sex was the on table. So I took the other half of the pill, after already taking half earlier. However, I still needed over an hour of making out, before I got an erection. Even if I take half earlier, it still takes a long time, it seems.

Dude to be honest I think the ing pill is the problem, I would go natural. Like eat healthier, staying hydrated, run or hit the gym for a couple of evenings, don't watch porn (don't know if you are or not) and just let your body do it's natural think even if you don't have an erection for a month or two. Eventually your body will work it's way to what is design for.

That's the best advice I can give you my friend.

The women who say that about "well if you were attracted enough..." are like the people who say "depression? why can't they just cheer up?" I don't think long term you want to be with someone who is that narrow minded (and in your case, self-absorbed). Maybe bring it up before sex is actually on the table for that day -just discuss it/get it out of the way.

 

Good luck!

Okay thanks. Let's say I stop using the pill and go natural. I do excercise a bit every day if I have time, and I don't watch a lot of porn. I feel I eat healthy overall. My main weakness is chocolate and I go off and on the wagon on that.

 

Let's say I hook up with a woman and the erection doesn't happen. Should I just say let's try again next time, and if it doesn't happen again, should I just say maybe the sexual attraction/chemistry isn't there, and just say we should part ways, and handle it that way, every time?