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I feel silly/immature to be pining over this girl I don't know well. Thoughts?


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I hate for this to be a Whiny ramble. You'll probably roll your eyes lol, but here it is..cause it's been bothering me and I don't really have any one else to talk to about it. Or I don't feel comfortable. There was this one girl in my college class whom I matched with on tinder during my last semester.

 

I thought it was interesting considering we're in the SAME class of 35 people, so I couldn't help but to wonder if she knew that. She messaged me first along the lines of being lost in my eyes lol...I know, super gay and cheesy which I thought was adorable, cause I thought she was super cute anyway.

 

She then commented on how I'm really gorgeous and she means it, so I got even more flattered and interested (a super cute girl from the same class complimenting me so kindly?! I'm starting to swoon😂 .

We then got into the topic of school and our last test. Later and All of a sudden, her profile dissapeared. Caught me off guard and I figured she, for some odd reason, deleted her account. (This was all during spring break).

 

Classes came back around and all throughout that semester, we never approached each other in person. I wanted to, but I was shy and it was kinda hard considering we never sat near each other or she was occupied talking to her friend or other people. Plus, what if she unmatched me?

 

Then, That would be awkward to try to approach her. However, the week before the last day of the semester, she came up to me at the end of the class , out of all the people she could've asked near her, or her friend, to ask about when the final is. I could tell she felt a little shy (she was sooo cute) , but that was the only time she actually came up to me.

 

Semester ends and I felt bad/regretted for not being the braver person and breaking the ice. I mean, what the odds of matching with a girl you're in the same class in? Who initially showed interest? I didn't want to lose the opportunity of never seeing or talking to her again.

 

So, I waited a few days to find her on Instagram and DM her. I was hesistant at first because what if she's creeped out? But I took the risk and anticipated the outcome. To my excitement, she messaged back with, "you're so cute! course I recognize you. Me and my friend were saying the other day on how adorable you are. You should have defff approached me but that was me being shy as well 😒. How have you been?"

 

I smiled and got super happy she replied so positively. We continued about school and our majors. She told me how she's looking forward to transferring to this university in the fall (this school is 3 1/2 hours away from me).

To myself, I got a little bummed because she'll be going far for school. However, I thought I could still hang out with her throughout the summer and see what happens.

Then she suggested first how we should hang out. And to be specific as going to this tea place together with her sometime.

 

Then she added me on Snapchat and we continued conversing there, getting a better idea of each other. She was pretty flirty, commenting on one of my snap stories saying "what a babe😍😍" and making other comments on how I'm so cute and goofy.

Asking me questions to get to know me better and I guess continue the convo when it didn't need to be continued, even if she takes a while back to reply. (Sometimes up to a day or a few)

 

I started to become much more interested when i noticed how sweet she seems, and we're both artistic and have similar music interests. She writes fiction and sappy poetry , paints, plays the piano, and the ukulele

(Imean I also stalked her a bit on social media too lol. Who doesn't tho when they like someone ?) and I love how dorky she appears.

 

I started to get my hopes up and fixation on the idea of finally making a connection with a girl who's interested back (considering I'm 20 and have no dating experience with either gender.

Plus I'm an introverted loner who doesn't really meet much people and I don't get crushes on just anybody.

 

It's hard for me to get close to most people ). My hope was To see her, and become close. (She's 18 btw). I became extremely attracted, and I guess you can say, crushing.

Attached to the idea of things working out for me. We talked on and off for a little more than a week. I got her number, and then we didn't message for around 4 days.

 

Iwanted to find out a day she would want to hang out, so I asked her what's up and inquired about a day she would be up to seeing me.

She said she would be busy the following day, but asked about the day after. I said I wasn't sure about that day, but to let me know. She said "I shall☺️"

That was on Thursday, and through the weekend carrying through the next week, she was mia and didn't let me know.

(I figured she was busy or was waiting for me to set up specific plans cause she could be shy?). So I gave space and didn't want to come across as too eager or needy. I know it's not necessary to be talking all the time

I then messaged a simple hey, and she replied with a hey and what's up. Then her next message said, "sorry I didn't know I had to, but I moved my heart kinda sunk, because I got a bad feeling it was far from me.

This was late at night, and I didn't see her following message until I woke up...my gut feeling was right. She moved to a city that's around 2 hours away from me. All I said was "aww damn yeah, that is far from me

I mean, ideally I prefer someone close..but I figure the distance isn't that bad. (Were both in Florida). And it's not like she's someone I've only seen from online interaction. I know what she sounds like in person and have some idea with the way she carries herself from observing her throughout the semester and when we had to do presentations.

 

Anyway, she hasnt replied to my comment since, but has commented on a few of my snapchats, seeming interested and calling me cute again lol. To the comment I made , I guess cause she has nothing to say or doesn't want to talk more about it becarse there's nothing she can do. Maybe I could bring up about meeting halfway? I just fear of coming across as too desparate lol or pressuring her. Then again, I'm going off of hypotheticals. Who knows what she's thinking.

 

I'm not going to lie, I did become depressed even if I never dated her or became super close, because I got so excited throughout THe semester and after. The chase and mystery of getting The girl to like me..

and getting my hopes up when things were going positively in terms of her interest. .

 

Im probably being a little pathetic and dramatic lol.

I mean, shell be starting fresh at a new school, so I know she'll be meeting new people and so will I. I know I'll get over it im sure, but I hope what I'm feeling is relatable and normal. And the fact she had to move so suddenly.

Perhaps she did know about moving for a while, and maybe that's why she was mia and didn't feel comfortable telling me. (Not that she owed me an explanation of course).

I mean we can still keep in touch through Snapchat and phone, but maybe I should back off? Idk

 

My biggest flaw is being the dreamer/introvert I am, and fantasizing too much and getting dissapointed over the smallest things. Makes me wonder if I get depressed over this, how I'll handle an actual breakup or something tremendous. Has anyone felt similarly to someone they haven't even dated or gotten close to?

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You are perfectly normal. You had a huge crush and disappointment does feel bad. You got to know her and had high hopes, it makes sense for you to feel the way you do. Don't overthink it and don't worry too much about how you'll handle a break up. That hasn't come along yet and you will be strong when/if the day ever comes.

 

What should you do next? It's completely up to you. You could ask her to stay on contact,let her know you like her and see if you can make anything work long distance, or you can let it go. It depends on what you're comfortable with.

 

There's nothing silly or immature about your post, honestly. Your feelings matter and you liked her. Like you said, you don't like just anyone. The only advice I would give you is to try not to become too invested in someone else until you know they want the same thing, and even then, go at a slower pace so you know that you're giving your time and emotions to someone worth while.

I hope it works out for you!

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Thank you for taking the time reading this and replying. I appreciate it! And that's true. It's ultimately up to what I think is best, even though I'm still a little conflicted. It's the fact that she hasn't brought up an idea of hanging out with me after telling me she moved, that makes me hesitant. Hopefully she doesn't get turned off or get the impression I'm asking for a serious relationship with her or something. It's just to get close to her and interact in person more to get a better idea and see how things progress

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