My wife is 15 years older than me.

We've been married almost 2 years. It's a very happy marriage and we have zero complaints with each other (well...other than my passing gas in the bed sometimes and her stories never seeming to have a beginning, middle, or end).

That said...everything is good except that some people are just annoying about the age difference. Maybe we're overly sensitive about the discussion...but it seems like people need to force an age comment into many discussions (even in non-insulting ways).

Is it like this with age gap relationships where the husband is much older than the wife, or is it only this way when the wife is the older one? I just don't understand how we've been together for 6-7 years and people are still making age comments. Am I too sensitive to it? Again, they're not insulting...they're from some very nice people. It'll be something like: "Yeah, we grew up with that band! He may have been a little young but that band was huge when you and I were growing up." Statements of that nature...annoying.

Anyone know if there are age gap gatherings of any sort? I'd like to make friends with people in similar situations just to get away from annoying comments once in a while.

As long as it works and your both happy. Im a woman and Im dating a guy 11 years younger than me. I look younger than i am so we look about the same age. I havent gotten any annoying comments really. Yeah i have more years ingrained in me but it doesnt make a big difference to me. He has his own experienced qualities.

Only 15 years? The new president of France is 24 years younger than HIS missus! You're in good company!

/

Seriously, though, people WILL make comments if your situation is significantly different to theirs... e.g. the amount you eat/drink, whether or not you have children, age gaps... all that!

Pay no need...

Those band comments - are they factually incorrect?

I mean, if I was dating a guy 10 years younger than me, he probably wouldn't know who the Backstreet Boys are...

I get called a cougar for dating a man 5 years younger than me. I know it is just in fun, but really? I hardly consider that cougar material.

I was in the opposite age gap relationship. I was 12 years older in that relationship. We got age gap comments regularly. We never once heard a negative comment and neither of us were ever annoyed by the comments. I tend to think most people just have a curiosity about things that are unusual. We were happy and even if people had been negative, I can't imagine that we would have cared.

I would think if there is an "age gap club" it would just be an endless conversation about the plight of folks in age gap relationships.

Those band comments - are they factually incorrect?

 

I mean, if I was dating a guy 10 years younger than me, he probably wouldn't know who the Backstreet Boys are...

They're not always factually incorrect (sometimes they are, but not always). They're just an unnecessary and irrelevant comment. You can say "they were huge when we were growing up" without saying "they were huge when we were growing up...you probably were too young but they were huge for us." It's just forced in for the sake of referencing age and doesn't relate to the discussion.

I was in the opposite age gap relationship. I was 12 years older in that relationship. We got age gap comments regularly. We never once heard a negative comment and neither of us were ever annoyed by the comments. I tend to think most people just have a curiosity about things that are unusual. We were happy and even if people had been negative, I can't imagine that we would have cared.

 

I would think if there is an "age gap club" it would just be an endless conversation about the plight of folks in age gap relationships.

The purpose would be to meet other people with similar interests and hobbies who just so happened to be in a similar marital situation that way we can avoid the unnecessary comments.

"They're just an unnecessary and irrelevant comment. "

Yes, JS.

You know what, sadly there are quite a few airheads out there who a) don't think at all, and b) don't think before opening their mouth.

They're not always factually incorrect (sometimes they are, but not always). They're just an unnecessary and irrelevant comment. You can say "they were huge when we were growing up" without saying "they were huge when we were growing up...you probably were too young but they were huge for us." It's just forced in for the sake of referencing age and doesn't relate to the discussion.

I've had managers say comments like that too. IMO, you're being too sensitive. They're making an age comment, not an age and relationship comment.

The purpose would be to meet other people with similar interests and hobbies who just so happened to be in a similar marital situation that way we can avoid the unnecessary comments.

Oh, I completely understand the "purpose" but good luck with that. I still imagine the comments will be there. In my relationship, we joked more about it than anyone else ever did.

It's like being a same sex couple in a sense. You can try to isolate yourself from opposite sex couples but to what end? At some point it becomes a sensitivity problem that you have and if you learn to either give it right back or ignore comments, life is going to by simpler.

I've had managers say comments like that too. IMO, you're being too sensitive. They're making an age comment, not an age and relationship comment.

It's completely possible I am just too sensitive to it. I need an outsider's perspective because I simply am unable to view it objectively.

Oh and to anyone I didn't respond to...thanks for the responses!

My fiancé is 21 years 4 days younger than me. We've been together three years. I gotta say it's disheartening to hear that after 7 years, people are still saying dumb to you. On the other hand, it's encouraging to see that you've been together so long and that you're still happy with your wife. I do sometimes worry about growing old too fast. I also long for knowing other couples with the woman as the older one in the relationship. Feel free to message us