Need closure but afraid I'll screw up

A bit over six years ago I met a girl and we fell in love instantly, we were both 20. It wasn't physical attraction, it was truly love at first sight. We were together for three months and then she moved to the other side of the world for uni. We promised we were going to see each other again and be together once we had jobs etc. We never saw each other again. After she left I met an amazing girl, she is the love of my life and I'm marrying her this year. I'm really happy with her, I'm truly are and have no doubts about spending the rest of my life with her. The thing is, my ex and I never really broke up, she left and we always had the hope that we were going to be together, the first year with my actual partner I didn't think I was going to fall in love like I did, I was always waiting for my ex to come back. Now that the years have passed, I know I don't love my ex but I think about her frequently and I smile, I guess I never really got over her, we had a relationship like a movie, everything was perfect, we never fought, we were just so happy together. We talk to each other on our birthdays and that's about it, she also has a partner.

I am going to be in the country where she lives in a few months and I really really want to see her. I haven't told her I'm going because I haven't decided if I'll tell her. I don't know what to do, I know that if we meet we'll probably kiss or more and I don't want to cheat on my partner. She doesn't deserve it and I do love her very much. I just want closure, I want to see her and know that that's actually the last time we'll ever see each other.

Help please, should I ask her if she wants to meet? I know if I don't I'll most likely regret it forever.

I dont really think its a good idea. What good could come of it? You might feel all the old feelings come back, you might end up cheating, you might make your current gf very upset. doesnt seem worth it. I would just let her go and give yourself closure by knowing that part of your life is over

Thanks for replying. I have been dying inside because there's no one I can talk about this stuff. I know it's a bad idea but something inside me really wants to at least ask her if she's free, she might decline, she also has a partner so that would be OK.

you're going to do what you're going to do, sometimes you have to choose the wrong thing to know what the right this is...

I would say go with what you know is the right thing. Im saying this from experience that you should always choose the right thing even when it is sometimes the harder choice, you wouldnt want to damage your great relationship as you have said. The fact that you said you might kiss her is worrying thats why I would recommend not seeing her, do not message, do not engage at all with her if theres still feelings involved unless you want to pursue this girl then end your relationship first

Thanks for replying. I have been dying inside because there's no one I can talk about this stuff. I know it's a bad idea but something inside me really wants to at least ask her if she's free, she might decline, she also has a partner so that would be OK.

How do you know that she has a partner?

Thank you. That's true, I don't want my ex in my life, I'm getting married to a girl I love very much. Plus, we live in opposite sides of the world and want different things. I just want to see her and know that's the last time we'll see each other since we never really had a proper break up.

We are friends on Facebook. We also say happy birthday to each other every year and talk briefly about our lives. That's the only times we speak

Well it is your decision. I can understand how you feel but i would just be very careful. and make sure your girlfriend is ok with it obviously. Please dont cheat on your girlfriend

How do you know that she has a partner?

We are friends on Facebook and we wish each other happy birthday every year and talk briefly about our lives

What "closure" do you "need"?

Sorry but it sounds like an excuse to try to rekindle.

Think about how you'd feel if your insistence that you "need closure" ends up ruining your current relationship. Would it be worth losing your current girlfriend over this alleged "need"?

I guess because we never really broke up I always had the hope to see her again. And I feel like that hope (I don't know if it's hope, it's juts a feeling of seeing her again) is not going to go away unless I see her one last time and agree that we would never see or speak to each other again.

As I mentioned, I don't want her back but it's a ghost that's been hunting me for the past 6 years and I want to kill it. And I haven't been successful just by telling myself that we would never see each other again. And don't get me wrong, I have told myself that many many times, my biggest wish is just to get rid of that hope like I've forgotten about my other exes. I just haven't been able to and it's so frustrating.

I do love my girlfriend and I want to just think about her. She makes me incredibly happy so I don't know why my ex still hunts me. It's just not fair on anyone. I never speak to her except on her bday so it's not like I try to keep in touch.