Why do men pull away?

Long story short - this guy I met really liked me. I brushed him off for weeks and cancelled dates. A month and a quite a few dates later, he asked me to be exclusive with him. I am fine with that since I am starting to like him a lot now. I was honest and told him I didn't really like him at first but now I really do. Now he seems to be pulling away - even though hes been honest about how he feels about me and he has done all of the pursuing. Why do men do this? Pull away once you start to really like them?

Men don't just don't just do this. What are your interactions like when you are together?

You brushed him off and canceled plans and when he asked you to be exclusive you told him how you didn't like him at first? I don't know, that would be enough reason for many people to pull away. You don't seem like you are that in to him.

the interactions between us are great. he tells me how much he likes me and is very good to me and listens to what i have to say..etc. everything a girl wants a guy to do.

No, I brushed him off when I first met him (i have known him for 3 months now). And I didn't say that when he asked me to be exclusive. We were talking about how when we first met I wasn't that into him as he was me.

Can you elaborate on how he's pulling away?

What is different now?

Also, it's important that you show interest and initiate sometimes too. If he's done all the pursuing, on top of you initially brushing him off and actually telling him you didn't like him at first, he may be starting to think the interest is too one-sided.

Most men don't pull away, but the ones who burn hot and fast will since they're looking for a fantasy (maybe this one will make my life better, so I don't have to do that for myself) and then when reality starts to set in they lose interest.

This is why the people who try to insta-relationship, push things too fast are a red flag. Those don't usually last and they don't end well, and yeah this guy rushed things demanding commitment a month in.

You also sound like in the beginning you were not into him, sort of suspicious or felt something was off, but you just ignored your own gut and went with it. And maybe you need to realize your perceptions are correct, no matter how much someone pursues you since lots of times that's not about liking you, it's about control or their own narrative. A decent guy or gal takes the time to build a full relationship and isn't so frantic to rush things.

So yeah, now that he's "got you" he's losing interest, because he is after that new love/chase them feeling and not a relationship. It's probably time to examine the kinds of guys you're responding to or what red flags you're ignoring at the beginning.

Maybe he is one of these people who only want what they can't have. Or maybe he is trying to gain the upper hand. Not all men are like this though and frankly your description doesn't paint a healthy dynamic. You keep being out of sync. You need to listen to your gut and tread carefully.

Better question. Why do you pull away and think it's only weird that he's doing now that you're on board with him?

he has done all of the pursuing

You brushed him off and canceled dates before. Now he's putting in all the effort. Could be that he's assembled some semblance of dignity. Let's hope, at least.

Losing the sense of entitlement could help.

And to throw in a bit further, whether a guy is in it for the "chase" or "prize" is often a question of what came first between the chicken and the egg. Yes, you get plenty of men who simply like to know they've "got it." But you also get a whole lot of women who enjoy the attention and effort that comes with being chased. Play the role of some prize to be "won" and don't be surprised when a guy comes to treat you as just that, more often than not choosing to discard you once the novelty of the prize has worn off.

It's just as much for the benefit of women as it is men that I encourage the former to pitch in equitably sooner than later-- and ideally from the very start. If you want to be considered as a partner, then show your capability as one. There shouldn't be a disproportionate "chasing" or "pursuing" dynamic. You should be meeting each other half-way wherever possible.

It's only (typically) the man's job to pursue for the first couple of dates. After that, it's the woman's job too. If you want him start showing some effort and initiative yourself.

The guys on this forum make it a good point. OP make sure you are equally putting in the effort once you start to date. That helps too, but also don't be in a huge rush to insta-relationship. Take the time to get to know someone, don't play hard to get, don't put up with playing hard to get.

For the right people, it just be easy to make and accept dates and be together.