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Different way of life


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Hi, I really could use some advice since I have very little experience in serious relationship stuff.

I'm 31 and I've been dating a guy thats 36 for a month now. We made it clear to each other form the start that we both seek a serious life-long relationship and he seems to be very much in love with me. He constantly talks about how he loves my intellect, my looks, the sex (wich is great for me as well). I find him very attractive and interesting and I like spending time with him talking and cuddling (which ususally ends up with sex).

And now the problem - he has a very different approach to life than me. He doesn't like outdoor activities like hiking, cycling, skiing, mountaineering or even swimming which I love and can't live without. He has a decent job that he loves, he works for like 4-5 hours a day, but earns the minimum wage and is ok with living small (he likes to stay at home or go to a lake or see a movie or something (tho he has different tastes in that too))- he has no ambitions to earn more. I, on the other hand, am very career oriented, I earn 10-15 times what he does but I work very hard for that. I love exotic, expensive travelling and do that 2-4 times a year + some minor travelling around europe (I live in Poland) and I earn enough to care for my every need without even considering how much I spend. He doesn't even have a car which I find totally perplexing since I move around A LOT and can't imagine a life without a car now.

I'd love to hear your take on my situation and some advice. Am I a total elitist douche thinking about money too much? I'll add that I grew up in a poor family and never want to go back to that kind of life again.

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Hey, you both have different outlooks in life and only time will tell how quickly that unravels. Every body is seeking a life long partner, but what I found was that was the only common denominator. Nothing else would connect us for anything serious - together. It sounds like you're already wondering... maybe it's time to also have friends around who enjoy what you enjoy and compare that. I don't think it's an elitist thing. I didn't settle until I found someone who was a rock climber, but I never dared dated a climber and got sick of everybody else coming up short for a date climbing at the gym. I even relented my boundaries when I realised that a climber I didn't dare date had everything that I wanted in a date. Daunting to break boundaries but I've never looked back. So, maybe it's time to review what it is that glue the two of you together. Sex is sex but that's not what glues the long term together.

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