I'm sick of people trying to encourage/motivate me to succeed in life...

Hey guys,

This is probably a really dumb question...but does anybody feel like that they're just sick of people trying to encourage or motivate you, and saying that they want you to succeed in life?

Now don't get me wrong, I actually think it's great to surround yourself with positive people who uplift and encourage you to be the best you can be, so you can live the life you want to..and having a good strong positive and encouraging team to help challenge you and bring out the best in you.

I've never had a problem with all that, i really do love it. I don't know why, but lately i've just been so drained and burned out because over the years ive been trying to make my life better and have had lots of setbacks and stuff, which i know is all part of the growth process...and i know that my team is very supportive and always encourage me to let them help me find a solutions which is great..but to be honest, i actually know what solutions i need to take, and its not that i dont trust my team, i do, i just feel like at the end of the day i know what is best for me and what i feel i need to do, no matter how good and wise the team's mentorship is...and i feel like no matter what I choose to do i'll be looked at as someone who doesn't appreciate the mentorship and advice that is given to me, and been seen as arrogant..which is totally not the case, i respect my team mentors alot and always take their advice.

I just feel that sometimes you have to work things out on your own, no matter how much mentorship and support you get from others, you just need to work things out yourself sometimes, and that sometimes you need to just keep certain things to yourself because you know nobody will understand which is ok...they don't have to understand everything. Sometimes you just need to go through the desert alone.

Am i being stupid, or does this make any sense to anybody out there?

Thanks heaps.

what kind of team and mentorship? if these are people from your workplace, they're not saying you need to accelerate your personal growth, they're saying they need a more efficient employee and i don't think you can pull of the manana approach at work. likewise if these are ppl from academia whom you are working on projects with.

outside the workplace or academia, i don't know how your friends could authorize themselves to offer mentorship. If that's what they're doing and it annoys you, however well-intended it may be, you could always just stop commenting on whatever setbacks you are encountering and deal with them your own preferred way.

i'm not sure i understand your relationship with this "team" and "mentors", or their nature. Whether you can or can't just disregard them depends on how you are bound to them.

Agree totally with the work/personal distinction. If it's work, it's what they pay you for. You might not like the style of managing/mentorship, etc but if you don't like the style you can try to phrase it in a way of "thanks so much for your input, I will get the project done by ____" or make sure that person knows you are efficient and productive and part of the team. If it's personal I would find that kind of broad, generic input mostly irrelevant. If someone personal gives you unsolicited input say very neutrally and politely "thanks so much for sharing -I'll let you know if I need advice on what to do, ok?" A large reason of why I am where I am today because of my several mentors -some professional, some personal, some a mixture. All of them gave very specific input over the years -and very specific constructive criticism and I am so grateful and appreciative. I would never remember any kind of generic "you should be the best you can be" input nor would I give it to anyone, not even my young child (if I do any throwaway lines like that impulsively I always follow up with specifics to the situation).

i would also add if you are getting "mentorship" on your setbacks from your friends and it is unwanted, you need to find what encourages it.

usually, it is because we have...over-complained. and people just do their best to offer solutions, because they can see them very clearly. we may not want those, when our self-sabotage produces a good secondary benefit.

the danger of continuing to comment on one's setbacks then is ppl will eventually retort with "you just don't want to do anything for yourself", or start avoiding you if your complaining becomes exhausting.

if your dissatisfaction is quite high, i suggest finding a neutral person, like a counselor, to talk to. that way you don't have to suppress it, and you still get emphatic self-disclosure, but you are also not pressured into giving up the safety of your self-sabotage by people who are not trained to understand it, or to put an end date to your current growth cycle before you are ready, and empowered to take on a new one.

I'm the opposite. I wish MORE people would go out of their way to kick my butt to trying and motivate me. Though I do agree working things out on your own and going that distance of your own accord does strengthen you more than letting others tell you what you should do. That isn't say mentorship isn't helpful or even needful. But, I'm wondering, are they mentoring you or simply advising you? There is a fine difference, of course.