Flirty behaviour

Recently we where out one Night for his birthday and I took him for his food and then we went out with couple of friends after, while we were out he was constantly reassuring me that he was ok and making sure I was happy. Until he came out and seen boys talking to us but I was not speaking to these boys I was on my phone and as soon as these boys came out I moved straight away as I knew what they're intentions were as I know of the boys. But anyway then I went in and seen him talking to a few girls that I had never seen before in my life I asked him to come speak to me and he ignored me so I went back again and said last chance come with me or stay here as I really needed to talk to him about something. He then left the table and I apologised to the girls for coming across as mean. THEN the girls started to tell a few stories, they said my boyfriend stated that if he was single and older he could have them... HAHAHA and that I treat him so badly and he's had enough and is going to finish with me anyway? Then when I confronted him it was back and forth apologising and then taking it back because he sees that he didn't do anything wrong e.g. Cheat on me or touch the girls? So that makes it ok? No no no. We have such. A good relationship when he is sober but times like this I just cannot trust him and I don't think he understands this. I want to be with him I do but I don't deserve to be treated like that and constantly thinking I'm not good enough but the. When we are sober he makes me feel so loved and so happy. I'm not too sure what to do girls..

First of all, im sorry he did that you.

I dont think alcohol is an excuse for acting like this towards you and other people. The fact that he does it in front of you is like a slap in the face to you. Its disrespectul.

No one that loves you would do/say this to other women. If my boyfriend ever did this to me, we would be done.

I dont know if this interaction had any consquense for your boyfriend, but from what you're writing here it seems like you let him off the hook? Why would he stop this behaviour if it doesnt have a consequense?

If he does this in front of you, how do you really know what other things he could be doing behind your back? This is a huge red flag to me.

How long have you guys been together? If you're young then maybe he's not ready to settle yet, and it is his fault for engaging in a relationship with you if that is true.

Of course, its hard to give you any real sound advice as I'd have to know both of you and have both sides of the story. However, there should be a consequense to this behaviour. If this goes on and he knows that you are not okay with it (Some people actually are okay with this) then he does not respect you, and you should not let him waste your time. No matter how much you love each other, without respect it all falls apart.

Recently we where out one Night for his birthday and I took him for his food and then we went out with couple of friends after, while we were out he was constantly reassuring me that he was ok and making sure I was happy. Until he came out and seen boys talking to us but I was not speaking to these boys I was on my phone and as soon as these boys came out I moved straight away as I knew what they're intentions were as I know of the boys. But anyway then I went in and seen him talking to a few girls that I had never seen before in my life I asked him to come speak to me and he ignored me so I went back again and said last chance come with me or stay here as I really needed to talk to him about something. He then left the table and I apologised to the girls for coming across as mean. THEN the girls started to tell a few stories, they said my boyfriend stated that if he was single and older he could have them... HAHAHA and that I treat him so badly and he's had enough and is going to finish with me anyway? Then when I confronted him it was back and forth apologising and then taking it back because he sees that he didn't do anything wrong e.g. Cheat on me or touch the girls? So that makes it ok? No no no. We have such. A good relationship when he is sober but times like this I just cannot trust him and I don't think he understands this. I want to be with him I do but I don't deserve to be treated like that and constantly thinking I'm not good enough but the. When we are sober he makes me feel so loved and so happy. I'm not too sure what to do girls..

This is not good.

The fact that he essentially acknowledges that he did indeed say those things is a bad sign, and it sounds like it's not the first time he's made remarks like this. He can't "take back" hurtful comments and expect you to erase your memory and pretend everything is fine. Chatting or joking with random people in a bar is one thing; telling them he could have them and is finished with you is something else. If any man of mine behaved the ways yours did while we were out, I would be removing myself from the situation and going home alone. You need to have a very honest and sober talk about the state of your relationship. Maybe he's actually not all that invested anymore, in which case, you need to know.

My friend's husband is quite similar. He's pretty decent to her most of the time, but when he's had a few drinks, he is known to be flirty with other women and more or less behaves as though his wife isn't even there. It hurts her. She recently discovered he'd sent her own friend a few flirty messages on a night out. More than once, he has been overheard drunkenly telling people that he just wants to run away from his marriage sometimes. He says it's just a joke when he sobers up, but you can imagine it's no joke to my friend, in light of his other flirty behaviour. She too feels she cannot trust him when he's been drinking, and honestly? She is probably right. She can't. And that's no way to have a relationship, let alone a marriage. Where there is no trust, there is no healthy relationship.

Since it sounds like he regularly gets drunk in public, and this wasn't the only incident, then this behavior will continue. Either it's a deal breaker for you or not. When you stay with him, it means you're accepting of the behavior. There are men out there who don't possess deal breakers. Find one of them.