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Thread: I Really Just Have to VENT!

  1. #1
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    I Really Just Have to VENT!

    So, I wasn't looking for anything. I was just minding my own business on Facebook, when some guy sent me a message about a TV show we both like. We ended up chatting for hours. I'm in the US and he's in Paris. I didn't think anything of it, but he kept messaging me every day, and we had great conversations. We ended up confiding in one another and talking about many things that I never even discuss with close friends. Then he started saying that he loved me and that he thinks I'm his soulmate. I went along with it, because it seemed kind of exciting at the time. We started talking last December and he kept saying that he wanted to come and visit me in August. I said fine. We continued with our long conversations, sometimes on the phone, and sometimes over video on Skype. Some days we'd talk for hours. It all seemed to be progressing. About a month ago, he told me that he is very ill with some disease. He's only 38 years old. He will not tell me what the disease is (probably because I work in the medical field and if he's lying, I'd know) Overnight, he became kind of mean, and is always too tired to talk. I grew tired of his vagueness and his lack of conversation. Literally overnight, the phone calls stopped. He still would message how much he loved me, and how it was destroying him to be so tired that he couldn't talk to me. He was too tired to talk to me, but always well enough for his Facebook games. I finally said, "Look, I am not going to message you anymore. If you want to speak to me, you can initiate, but don't expect any more message initiation from me." That was two weeks ago, and I haven't heard from him since. He "likes" pictures on my Facebook page, but that's it. What the heck? This guy messaged me, pursued me relentlessly (I wasn't into him at all for the first month) and then drops me? I find it very hard to believe he's sick. If he is, I feel for him, but if he can play Candy Crush Saga, he could surely send me a "hello" message. He won't even tell me about his disease. I've never done the online thing before, so perhaps this sort of behavior is common? I'm not about to wait around for him. Too many men in this world for that.

  2. #2
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    This is a scammer. There is another thread here with almost the exact same story: the guy lives in another country, has some terrible disease, but when pressed for the name of the disease, he vanishes.

    You're his "soulmate" so "he" can reel you in and eventually ask you for money.

    Please block this non-person.

  3. #3
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    OMG you dont know this guy at all. He could be married with 6 kids or living with a woman, you have no way to know for sure what he's all about. Surely you know he cant possibly love you when he's never met you. This is a scam, as LHGirl said. Block him on facebook and any other way you can. Dont get roped in by another jerk like he is.

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    I would NEVER send someone money. He never asked for any either. The marriage thing did enter my mind, as in the beginning, he would always call very late at night his time. We video chatted most of the time, so he wasn't using fake pictures. I never honestly believed he loved me, but I was wondering if this kind of thing is common? Also, he kept asking for pictures of me. Nothing dirty, just pictures. IF it was a money scam (which I don't really think) I hope he isn't going to use my pictures to scam someone else.

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  6. #5
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    Also, if it was a money scam, why would someone completely back off before even mentioning the subject of money? If you want to scam money from someone, I would think that ignoring them probably isn't the way to go? Unless, he figured out that getting money from me would be impossible?

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    This was pure fantasy.

    Why not focus on men you can interact with locally.

  8. #7
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    I don't care how many times you spoke. This is how scammers work. Please google it.

  9. 05-27-2017, 11:21 AM

  10. #8
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    Yes, this is common - as in, it's a common scam.

    He probably sensed you're not easily fooled so he backed off. Whether he's really sick, or married, or on house arrest, or any other number of things is impossible to know. That is because you don't really know him at all. He's obviously hiding some things from you and not who he presents himself to be. That in and of itself is the scam.

    Next time some strange dude in another continent hits you up and suddenly declares he loves you without ever having met you, you need to stop communicating. It's a sign of a complete weirdo.

  11. #9
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    Money scam? Definitely not. Another type of scam? Probably. He could very well be some married man who was looking for some kind of video sex chats, and that I was not willing to do. He fell ill shortly after I refused. I'm not upset though, as I never did believe it was love. As I mentioned before, I went along with it because it was entertaining and odd. We did have lots of chats which may have been what I needed at the time, as I did a lot of venting about my ex. Sometimes that's much easier to do with a stranger. If nothing else, those chats were very therapeutic.

  12. #10
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    This was pure fantasy.

    Why not focus on men you can interact with locally.
    I do. I date pretty often.


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