Heartbroken

So I'm new to this been exploring and Thought I would post cause seems like there's a lot of helpful ppl out here...

To start off nc is petty much not an option right now so keep that in mind...

So my gf and I have been together for almost 3 years we live together have a dog together and had a very close relationship we did everything together...Monday night she went out and I got a text from saying she can't be with me anymore and this is her decision and she needs to do this for herself...I won't say everything was perfect cause it was not we had are fights and arguments but always got past them so I thought....she said she can't get past some of the bad fights we had and the mean things I said...I was a jealous bf I'll admit that. I would get upset when she went out without me for the night and would sometimes start a fight over it..,as of right now she doesn't wanna see me she hasn't been home since Monday she won't answer my calls but will text me throughout the day and night. Sh says she misses me and is still in love with me but she feels that this is what she needs to do...she said she would come see me and talk to me but needs time right now she thinks seeing me is gonna upset her or I think maybe cloud her judgement.i can respect her wishes...so I'm still at our house but she won't come home until I go to work and leave before I get home.i made a comment today saying I hope we can get through this but she replied I don't know if that's gonna happen I need time..we where suppose to have a special night tonight that we planned in he weekend and now she went alone to try and relax. Why does she keep texting me but not answer my calls i love this girl and don't wanna give up I'm 34 she's 33 and I don't wanna just give up and move on I told her I would and she got all upset...I'm just confused seems like mixed signals hat am I to do I can't stop the tears or the pain I feel in my heart I can't sleep eat or work this has taken a big toll on me...I know she's hurt to but I just don't know what to do or say to her any help would be appreciated on this everyone thanks in advance

Hey FG,

Sorry you are having a hard time but you posted the same thing yesterday and received 11 responses

I was just trying to update I'm sorry I'm just having a real hard time with this

Get urself in order and try to get ur mind off of this. Get around loved ones even if u have to leave and stay with them. Do not call her or text her u less its to bless her a good day And good nite sweet dreams. It does get better but control ur mouth with her because a few bad moments are what people remember.. U should be nice so that's overlooked alot and underappreciated. U need to occupy ur time. Go to the Dr. I was put on welbutrin and it changed my attitude my anxiety and took away the impulse to harass her. It gets better and time will heel. If u love during this it will cover a multitude of sin and she can recognize u changed and she now has to change to because u changed. U don't react to people the same because they changed. If u. Expect anger and yelling and u get calm and cool u have to react different. Change u. Love urself. Reach out to friends n go watch the NBA finals or do something. Dont feel sorry for urself she will think that's pathetic. Better urself and she will be impressed and she will see the potential in u again. Or u move on and this new u gets a new person who was truly meant for u. Pray daily. Find things to do that occupies ur mind and relaxes u. Talk to god and pray for u and her and ask him to removed this bondage of depression u are in. I will pray for u but praying with u makes ur prayer stronger. U have a responsibility to pray as well. I hope things change and either the door reopens or your door that holds gods will is recognized and u move to it. My friends wife cheatedhe kept her in the hone hoping to forgive he fell from god and was tormented daily. He divorced her and got into church where he met his current wife of 10yrs. And now he is thankful she did that to him because he's so happy. U just see how he smiles talks about his wife beauty and grace and is children he wakes up excited to be a daddy. So please be open with urself. Consider all options. There is a reason she's gone. Use it as an opportunity to become a better u for everyone u have in ur life and U persuade. I hope this helps u were on my mind and i figured I would check with. Stay strong and make urself great agajn!

Get urself in order and try to get ur mind off of this. Get around loved ones even if u have to leave and stay with them. Do not call her or text her u less its to bless her a good day And good nite sweet dreams. It does get better but control ur mouth with her because a few bad moments are what people remember.. U should be nice so that's overlooked alot and underappreciated. U need to occupy ur time. Go to the Dr. I was put on welbutrin and it changed my attitude my anxiety and took away the impulse to harass her. It gets better and time will heel. If u love during this it will cover a multitude of sin and she can recognize u changed and she now has to change to because u changed. U don't react to people the same because they changed. If u. Expect anger and yelling and u get calm and cool u have to react different. Change u. Love urself. Reach out to friends n go watch the NBA finals or do something. Dont feel sorry for urself she will think that's pathetic. Better urself and she will be impressed and she will see the potential in u again. Or u move on and this new u gets a new person who was truly meant for u. Pray daily. Find things to do that occupies ur mind and relaxes u. Talk to god and pray for u and her and ask him to removed this bondage of depression u are in. I will pray for u but praying with u makes ur prayer stronger. U have a responsibility to pray as well. I hope things change and either the door reopens or your door that holds gods will is recognized and u move to it. My friends wife cheatedhe kept her in the hone hoping to forgive he fell from god and was tormented daily. He divorced her and got into church where he met his current wife of 10yrs. And now he is thankful she did that to him because he's so happy. U just see how he smiles talks about his wife beauty and grace and is children he wakes up excited to be a daddy. So please be open with urself. Consider all options. There is a reason she's gone. Use it as an opportunity to become a better u for everyone u have in ur life and U persuade. I hope this helps u were on my mind and i figured I would check with. Stay strong and make urself great agajn!

I pray evynight hoping this pain will stop...I'm just so use to talking to her all day and then coming home to her and now it's all gone

Sorry you are going through this. The hardest issue I had after my breakup was sleeping. I used the Bible app and would let it play in a timer for an hour and I would get a good nights rest. It does get better in time. My ex wanted space before we broke up and I just felt like I lost it for a bit and even worse after the break up. I'm sure you've already heard it but just work on yourself and become the person you really want to be. It will pass and you will get better. You don't need anyone else to make you happy. Only you are responsible for your own happiness. I realized that I wouldn't give her so much power and it wasn't worth the suffering. Don't give anyone that power over you.

Well do things I got lost in Netflix with my parents on prison break. We watched all 4 old seasons because the new season just came on. We watch 3 episodes every night and I got back In the gym. There are things u wanted to do when she was there u didn't. Something I promos. U have a hobby something u like and are good at. Occupy ur time. Take benadryl to go to sleep and stable ur moods. Lack of sleep causes paranoia and anger and depression. Cut back on caffeine. It causes paranoia and mood swings and depression. So the 2 are connected. I cut back and I had less dreams which helped because they were nightmares. It sounds stupid about caffeine but a Dr told me about it so I tried it and it worked. I work out to tire myself take a benedryl my depression medication and I'm all good. Sounds also u may have manic lows. Its natural but if u get depressed over n over and when some would be sad u are crying into a pillow begging god to just let her call me so I can hear her voice u were like me and needed help controlling the lows n highs. Is bipolar delression. It develops as we change our bodies and how often we get sad. Everytime u get depressed u take from your personality. Blood pressure has to be regulated with meds and so does ur brain when ur chemicals are off being sad and depressed. Donr threaten harm to urself. That's weak behavior and scary behavior. Women want strong men who control their character n be tough but also be sensitive to their needs and show emotion to let them know their feeling hurt u or make u happy. Women are emotional beings. Us guys see sex as breeding and fun and I get to play with mama tonight. Well women see it as emotions. My wife wants me to hold her afterwards til she falls asleep. When. I hold her I can feel her love transferring to me. I was the biggest pain on the planet trust me. I had a car wreck that caused damage to my brain and spine. After the meds they put me on I cheated I was evil to our kids calling them names I lost my job I had for 15 yrs. I got into screaming matches with family and I went to jail for the first time in my life. My wife has forgiven me. And all that happened in 2015. So I had time to fix me. Women love strong and its hard for them to just cut off the fosset but they need time n distance. I didn't find out about my brain injury til 2016 which gave us hope for me because the Dr said i couldn't control impulses. To say no to get angry and fight a paramedic who was working on me after a seizure and ultimately going to jail facing 1yr in county. Just fix u and move fwd either she's going to attract back to u like magnets do or u will be more sure more confident and know ur future is bright and be excited about what's in front of u. Let go of the past the rearview only shows u things u can't fix but the steering wheel u have a choice how u guide it n where it takes u my friend. Be blessed. I will check back on u I promise

Well do things I got lost in Netflix with my parents on prison break. We watched all 4 old seasons because the new season just came on. We watch 3 episodes every night and I got back In the gym. There are things u wanted to do when she was there u didn't. Something I promos. U have a hobby something u like and are good at. Occupy ur time. Take benadryl to go to sleep and stable ur moods. Lack of sleep causes paranoia and anger and depression. Cut back on caffeine. It causes paranoia and mood swings and depression. So the 2 are connected. I cut back and I had less dreams which helped because they were nightmares. It sounds stupid about caffeine but a Dr told me about it so I tried it and it worked. I work out to tire myself take a benedryl my depression medication and I'm all good. Sounds also u may have manic lows. Its natural but if u get depressed over n over and when some would be sad u are crying into a pillow begging god to just let her call me so I can hear her voice u were like me and needed help controlling the lows n highs. Is bipolar delression. It develops as we change our bodies and how often we get sad. Everytime u get depressed u take from your personality. Blood pressure has to be regulated with meds and so does ur brain when ur chemicals are off being sad and depressed. Donr threaten harm to urself. That's weak behavior and scary behavior. Women want strong men who control their character n be tough but also be sensitive to their needs and show emotion to let them know their feeling hurt u or make u happy. Women are emotional beings. Us guys see sex as breeding and fun and I get to play with mama tonight. Well women see it as emotions. My wife wants me to hold her afterwards til she falls asleep. When. I hold her I can feel her love transferring to me. I was the biggest pain on the planet trust me. I had a car wreck that caused damage to my brain and spine. After the meds they put me on I cheated I was evil to our kids calling them names I lost my job I had for 15 yrs. I got into screaming matches with family and I went to jail for the first time in my life. My wife has forgiven me. And all that happened in 2015. So I had time to fix me. Women love strong and its hard for them to just cut off the fosset but they need time n distance. I didn't find out about my brain injury til 2016 which gave us hope for me because the Dr said i couldn't control impulses. To say no to get angry and fight a paramedic who was working on me after a seizure and ultimately going to jail facing 1yr in county. Just fix u and move fwd either she's going to attract back to u like magnets do or u will be more sure more confident and know ur future is bright and be excited about what's in front of u. Let go of the past the rearview only shows u things u can't fix but the steering wheel u have a choice how u guide it n where it takes u my friend. Be blessed. I will check back on u I promise

I've tried getting in to Netflix but I can't focus all I do is think of her where she is what she is doing is she ever gonna come home will she call me today..I don't drink caffeine so that's out...I won't threaten to harm myself nor will I harm myself...I'm sorry for your terrible accident and I hope it gets better for you...I'm trying so hard not to cry but my heart gets the better of me I just want this pain to be gone but I feel the only way it will go away is if she comes home back to us I know it probably sounds stupid but it's how I feel right now

I've tried getting in to Netflix but I can't focus all I do is think of her where she is what she is doing is she ever gonna come home will she call me today..I don't drink caffeine so that's out...I won't threaten to harm myself nor will I harm myself...I'm sorry for your terrible accident and I hope it gets better for you...I'm trying so hard not to cry but my heart gets the better of me

Yeah make urself an appointment. I saw a internal medicine Dr. He will give u something non narcotic like welbutrin or lexapro that will remove that what is she doing who is she with fear. I swear I started to become borderline stalker and crazy. 3 days after I got help I swear it removed 95% of my focus on her. I cried every night and wanted not to kill myself just not wake up n feel hurt again. 3 days later and I was ok. I swear. I'm on 300 mg a day and ur doc may prescribe. Xanax or clonazepam to deal with anxiety because that sux the most. Anxiety is where that fear lies. I can't do Xanax or benzos but they will help u thru this and sleep and thats what u really need. U need a good nights rest and a home cooked meal. Eat stay srong

Yeah make urself an appointment. I saw a internal medicine Dr. He will give u something non narcotic like welbutrin or lexapro that will remove that what is she doing who is she with fear. I swear I started to become borderline stalker and crazy. 3 days after I got help I swear it removed 95% of my focus on her. I cried every night and wanted not to kill myself just not wake up n feel hurt again. 3 days later and I was ok. I swear. I'm on 300 mg a day and ur doc may prescribe. Xanax or clonazepam to deal with anxiety because that sux the most. Anxiety is where that fear lies. I can't do Xanax or benzos but they will help u thru this and sleep and thats what u really need. U need a good nights rest and a home cooked meal. Eat stay srong

I refuse to take pills cause the min I come off them I know it's back to sadness again I wanna just try and deal with it first...I feel the same I hope I don't wake up feeling this way but I do...my anxiety is so bad right now my chest is so tight my hands r shaky and I can't sleep I hate this

I don't take anxiety meds either but I had been sad crying spells. To where I thought I was going crazy. To find ou I had bipolar depression caused by concussions playing college football and my car accident. All bipolar is is when ur happy ur motivated and making lists n talkative n when u have a loss u get rest sad and u fixate on ur problem and magnify I to where it controls emotions. Exercise if u don't believe in meds. I go everyday now run 5 miles a day n walk another 5. Makes me feel good. Exercise is how u fight depression naturally. In stead of having manic highs n lows. U don't really level out in bad times. Its ok to take a pill for depression. Its better than ur family worrying about u or finding u dead. Anxiety can kill. My family doesn't have to worry I'm going to run to drugs or alcohol or hurt myself or harass her til I get locked up or no contact order vpo. Because I take my medication to regulate it and keep me level in bad times and there has definitely been those. I text my wife now all the time and get a response. B4 she didn't answer my calls for over 3 months and text me very seldom. So I didn't text for 3 days. I blocked her so I couldn't respond as it came in and I made myself establish boundaries. Being medicated to fight an illness doesn't make anyone weak and bipolar depression does not mean ur crazy u just need understanding what ur dealing with like I did. I'm telling u heart break sux. Feels like u are going to have ur heart stop from the pain. But u should get out and do things. By ur msgs u appear to need to consult a Dr to tell him. U may just need it til u transition I out of this. If she comes home u don't need an so u won't be depressed. I'm just saying to be this low and depressed as u sound in ur blogs u appear to be in the depression side of something. Most people after a couple days start making a decision that they are better than this and if she's not here with me then she's not worth it. And get ur tail off ur shoulders and do stuff that makes u happy. I go fishing. I guarantee u that u all spending too much time together can cause problems to. Get a hobby go out and if she comes home stick to doing ur hobby still. Keep that as ur balance. U wrote a blog reaching out for help letting us know u are heartbroken. That's full on depression and if u just do u and ur family some help it will be over by end of the weekend and by day 1 u will notice u don't think of her in fear as much. I hope u can get past urself. Because she should not control ur emotions by her leaving. Allow urself sadness for tonight and tomorrow fight n pull happiness even if u manufacture it and fake it. U do that because u are a better person than how u feel and u love urself 1st then u can love others. Don't lie in the rut they go on forever

I don't take anxiety meds either but I had been sad crying spells. To where I thought I was going crazy. To find ou I had bipolar depression caused by concussions playing college football and my car accident. All bipolar is is when ur happy ur motivated and making lists n talkative n when u have a loss u get rest sad and u fixate on ur problem and magnify I to where it controls emotions. Exercise if u don't believe in meds. I go everyday now run 5 miles a day n walk another 5. Makes me feel good. Exercise is how u fight depression naturally. In stead of having manic highs n lows. U don't really level out in bad times. Its ok to take a pill for depression. Its better than ur family worrying about u or finding u dead. Anxiety can kill. My family doesn't have to worry I'm going to run to drugs or alcohol or hurt myself or harass her til I get locked up or no contact order vpo. Because I take my medication to regulate it and keep me level in bad times and there has definitely been those. I text my wife now all the time and get a response. B4 she didn't answer my calls for over 3 months and text me very seldom. So I didn't text for 3 days. I blocked her so I couldn't respond as it came in and I made myself establish boundaries. Being medicated to fight an illness doesn't make anyone weak and bipolar depression does not mean ur crazy u just need understanding what ur dealing with like I did. I'm telling u heart break sux. Feels like u are going to have ur heart stop from the pain. But u should get out and do things. By ur msgs u appear to need to consult a Dr to tell him. U may just need it til u transition I out of this. If she comes home u don't need an so u won't be depressed. I'm just saying to be this low and depressed as u sound in ur blogs u appear to be in the depression side of something. Most people after a couple days start making a decision that they are better than this and if she's not here with me then she's not worth it. And get ur tail off ur shoulders and do stuff that makes u happy. I go fishing. I guarantee u that u all spending too much time together can cause problems to. Get a hobby go out and if she comes home stick to doing ur hobby still. Keep that as ur balance. U wrote a blog reaching out for help letting us know u are heartbroken. That's full on depression and if u just do u and ur family some help it will be over by end of the weekend and by day 1 u will notice u don't think of her in fear as much. I hope u can get past urself. Because she should not control ur emotions by her leaving. Allow urself sadness for tonight and tomorrow fight n pull happiness even if u manufacture it and fake it. U do that because u are a better person than how u feel and u love urself 1st then u can love others. Don't lie in the rut they go on forever[/QUOT

 

Thank you u have no idea how much better that made me feel reading that I feel like you got to me there somehow..I will go see my doctor this week if he is free for sure if there's something he can do to help then I'll accept his help..she just told me she's coming over tomorrow to pick up the dog and she knows I will be home and were gonna have to talk I'm honestly a lil worries that it's gonna make hurt more then do any good

So she's coming home in an hour to get some stuff and to say bye to me she said this morning she doesn't wanna hurt me and at she loves me and this is hard but breakin up with me is the right decision...how can she say that and still tell me she's in love I don't understand