fmfan08 Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 We texted back and forth a few times, all was well and good. Use of emojis, interest in me, etc. Last Friday, I asked her what days she would be free to get together, she said she's actually free tomorrow for a change but wondered if it might be too soon and said she could do a night during the week. I told her I was busy Saturday night, being it such short notice anyway. Then I said "we'll do a night during the week when you know you're free". She told me "Could maybe do Wednesday? I will have to get back to you on that one though as I'm not sure what time I finish work, won't know until Monday". So I said "I've already got plans Wednesday evening, but let me know if you're free another day when you find out on Monday ". It's now Monday 8:30pm. Do I reach out and bring the topic of getting together again or just forget about it and let her contact me? She said she'll find out on Monday and will get back to me on that one, but not heard anything and wondering what to do. We texted back and forth a few times, all was well and good. Use of emojis, interest in me, etc. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 You blew her off twice why bother?I told her I was busySaturday night, being it such short notice anyway . She told me "Could maybe do Wednesday? I will have to get back to you on that one though as I'm not sure what time I finish work, won't know until Monday". So I said "I've already got plans Wednesday evening, but let me know if you're free another day when you find out on Monday Link to comment
j.man Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 Well she's already given you two different times she's free. Maybe it's your turn to give her a day and time? Men understandably get frustrated when women make them repeatedly take stabs until they land on a day and time that actually works, so you can imagine how much it might a woman who generally isn't expected to deal with that kind of ****. For now, sit back and see if she gets back to you tonight like she said she would. If you don't hear back tonight, it wouldn't hurt to hit her back tomorrow with a plan of your own. Link to comment
fmfan08 Posted May 22, 2017 Author Share Posted May 22, 2017 You blew her off twice why bother? Because I had plans on both those days. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 Agree with jman, and...working in retail, in my experience, was pretty difficult, schedule-wise. I would sometimes be "on-call" when I worked in retail, meaning I had to call in the morning of a potential shift to find out of they needed me. I HATED that because it made it so that I couldn't make concrete plans on certain days. And, I would often get asked to come in early or to stay late (another thing I hated!) So, yes, it can mess with someone's schedule in that way. Link to comment
SherrySher Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 Sounds pretty complicated. Are you sure both of you are actually in a place where you can have a relationship and date and give the proper time to it? Link to comment
DancingFool Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 Retail is unpredictable. On the other hand, she gave you two days she is free and you had other plans both times. So definitely, it's actually on you to make yourself available at this point on her terms or else, you will come across as jerking her around and not that interested in actually going out with her. Also, Wednesday was far away enough for you to change your plans with whoever, unless it was something like work that you just can't bail out on. Link to comment
fmfan08 Posted May 22, 2017 Author Share Posted May 22, 2017 Sounds pretty complicated. Are you sure both of you are actually in a place where you can have a relationship and date and give the proper time to it? The fact that we both work retail management with changing schedules each week might be a problem. If I was dating a girl who did 9-5, that would be much easier. Or if I was working 9-5 dating this girl with a messy work schedule, it could work. I sent a second text out which had some humor/intrigue to it, so we'll see. I'll talk to other girls in the meantime. Link to comment
polarseltzer Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 I agree with the others. She likely thinks you're not that interested in meeting since she's given two dates that you say don't work for you. You should just reach out with dates you're available. Link to comment
j.man Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 I'm sure she'll be super intrigued by the fact you're cracking jokes on SMS when you should be properly asking her out, having twice rejected her offers. I know am. Link to comment
fmfan08 Posted May 22, 2017 Author Share Posted May 22, 2017 I'm sure she'll be super intrigued by the fact you're cracking jokes on SMS when you should be properly asking her out after twice rejecting her suggestions. I thought asking her straight up about when she's free might be too sudden and I should just start a fresh conversation and bring it up after 2-3 texts. Don't forget I did ask her if she'd be free on any other days but she told me she wouldn't know for sure until she gets her schedule Monday. She even gave a "maybe" on Wednesday as she didn't know when she'd finish. I felt like I put the ball in her court by asking her to get back to me when she has a better idea of days she's off. Link to comment
Rezie Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 I don't think it's that obvious that the ball is on her court. Usually with rejection without an alternative time suggestion is just a rejection. If I were you I would send "hey, do you know your schedule already? It's unfortunate that we haven't found a time to meet up but hopefully soon Or something similar. So you let her know you are interested and you having plans is genuine and not an excuse. Link to comment
fmfan08 Posted May 22, 2017 Author Share Posted May 22, 2017 I don't think it's that obvious that the ball is on her court. Usually with rejection without an alternative time suggestion is just a rejection. If I were you I would send "hey, do you know your schedule already? It's unfortunate that we haven't found a time to meet up but hopefully soon Or something similar. So you let her know you are interested and you having plans is genuine and not an excuse. I ended up texting something like "Just had a day of breaking hearts, near death experiences and chocolate.. Can you top that?" She replied back enthusiastically saying her day was just work and was intrigued by what I said. So I said "Now that is secret information! Well I reckon if you tell me what days you're free, maybe I'll let you in on my little story " If I get no response from this then I'll leave it as I am talking to someone else too. In my mind, a girl who wants to meet up or is interested will try to make it easy for me. I know she did suggest Saturday and Wednesday, but those were days I had plans already. I'm still showing my interest in wanting to see her, rather than not.. So we'll see, now she'll have her schedule. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 . In my mind, a girl who wants to meet up or is interested will try to make it easy for me. Pretty sure she did already. Link to comment
SherrySher Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 will try to make it easy for me. lol..this from the guy who told HER twice that he had plans on two different occasions. *shaking my head* Link to comment
DancingFool Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 ...good grief....she already HAS made it easy for you. YOU are the one who is jerking around now. I swear with some people, they simply can't win for losing. Will be one step from the finish line and trip themselves and fall backwards so as not to cross it and then claim someone tripped them when nobody was within a mile of them. Link to comment
fmfan08 Posted May 22, 2017 Author Share Posted May 22, 2017 How? She said she could do Saturday but thought it might be too soon. I said I had plans that night and asked when she'd next be free. She said Wednesday but she said she'd have to check on Monday. I had plans already on Wednesday and asked if there was any other day we could do. Surely if she was to continue making it easy for me, she'd respond to me asking if she's free any other day? Which she hasn't so I guess there's my answer. Link to comment
SherrySher Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 Holy crap, man..do you think the world revolves around you?? Make it easy on her...if you like her so much cancel your plans for one of those nights and go see her instead or tell her straight out which days you are free so she knows and doesn't have to guess. Link to comment
J Miracle Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 Seems like your not really into seeing her.. You rejected 2 date offers and didnt have a counter offer for her.. Dont expect her to chase you, or any women really. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 dont troll me, bro lmao....was thinking the same thing! Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 I thought asking her straight up about when she's free might be too sudden and I should just start a fresh conversation and bring it up after 2-3 texts. For gawd's sake, stop playing stupid games and ask her when she's free, and give some dates when you're available, too! If she likes you, it won't be too sudden - I promise you. If I was her, I'd have come to the conclusion you weren't interested; and now you're talking to other girls...? If you want to see this girl again, get onto it - now! Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 Your methods confuse me. lol, I think he may be getting his material from some PUA handbook or something. Seems too contrived, major turn off OP. Just be "real" with her for chrissakes. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 Why don't you just say "I know we are both super busy at work. what about grabbing lunch before we go in if we are both closing that day or catch something on one of our breaks?" and leave it on the fly. If you have a day off and she doesn't - meet her near her work before her shift starts or if she has a lunch break - make yourself flexibly available. Say her break is usually for an hour - and could start at any time between 4-5. Clear your schedule between 3:30 and 7 and do your errands nearby and wait for her to call you when she's free. But set it up ahead of time. FWhen you first date, it takes a number of coffee breaks and lunches sometimes on the fly to get to know eachother before any formal dates sometimes. When she actually dates you, you may try to fit eachother in instead of already having plans sometimes. Link to comment
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