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Told my ex a guy kissed me?!?!?! Help!


pizza81

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Hey guys, to cut a super long story short my ex broke up with me 2 months ago but we still kind of wanted to be together because he messaged me here and there. We were together for 5 years so it was serious. Anyways, we just got speaking on the phone recently and a month after we broke up a guy at uni had kissed me randomly. We were chatting and he came onto me suddenly. I pushed him away and was extremely angry and walked off. My ex called me up recently as we wanted to make it work. I told him what had happened and he lost the plot which I completely understand. But i told him that i could have easily lied and not told him, but i couldnt do that so i told him the truth. I feel terrible for what happened but i didnt do anything back. I walked away from the situation and i told my ex that. He said 'f*** you' many times after I told him this... did i do the wrong thing by telling him the truth? He wont speak to me, but the thing is i didnt do anthying, this was a month after we broke up and i never ever cheated during the relationship i am a commited person, but i didnt know this guy was going to come on to me. Any advice? PLEASE HELP?

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He sounds like an immature jerk. He doesnt own you, you didnt go looking for that other guy to kiss you, you were broken up anyway. You should not have to put up with someone swearing at you. This is about the ex bf being a big baby, it's not about you. Why on earth would you feel bad for telling him something like this? You'd be better off with a more reasonable, mature guy for a bf.

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Hiya thank you for your reply. We broke up well because he was going through a few things and was angry all the time. But I was also going through a lot but I was never horrible towards him about it. He'd hardly speak to me and when he did he'd always shout and yell at me and I'd just stay quiet. It was really bad for like two months. He ended up breaking up with me and we haven't been together for two months but we still messaged here and there.

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Hey melancholy123

Thanks for your reply!

You think so too? Maybe you guys are right? I just feel terrible because it was so unexpected and I felt guilty in a way even though I didn't do anything back? Maybe he is being mature? I just don't understand why he doesn't see that I told him the truth instead of lying?

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Hiya thank you for your reply. We broke up well because he was going through a few things and was angry all the time. But I was also going through a lot but I was never horrible towards him about it. He'd hardly speak to me and when he did he'd always shout and yell at me and I'd just stay quiet. It was really bad for like two months. He ended up breaking up with me and we haven't been together for two months but we still messaged here and there.

 

This guy sounds abusive. You need to keep people like this out of your life.

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Anytime any guy uses profanity against you, you run! It's typical abuser behavior. I was in a ten year relationship and my ex not once nor did I no matter how angry we got used profanity! It's one of the highest forms of disrespect in my opinion.

 

Lisa

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Hi boltnrun, thanks for your reply

 

Yeah well he kinda does get angry quite a bit and I guess I want to be with him because we were together for so long and I feel like I invested a lot in the relationship then at the same time the way he is to me I don't think is fair. And I honestly thought after having not been together for two months he'd calm down. I get he's upset about what happened, but I thought he would have reacted a little calmer?

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Hi hollyj

Thank you for your reply

 

Yeah that's the thing we weren't together at the time and I explained that to him but he just lost his cool,

I just feel like I can't be horrible back to him? Maybe you're right? Maybe I shouldn't be spoken to like this?

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Hey Lisa

Thanks for the message

I see you're agreeing as well with others on this forum too.

Yeah I mean I never disrespected him so I guess it's not fair for him to do the same back. I just don't understand, I told him the truth when I could have easily lied? Surely telling the truth is the right thing?

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Can kiss, have sex with or do what ever you want if you are not in a relationship. And on this case you were broken up. It's none of his business what happened in those 2 months you were not together.

 

As for telling him the truth. Did he ask if you had kissed anyone else? If he didn't ask then not telling is not a lie. You could have not told him and you could have told him. It was your decision to do it and there is nothing wrong with it.

 

I think your boyfriend is an idiot. He has no right to even be upset and there is never a reason to say f you to your partner. He treats you like crap and expects You to wait around . You deserve better. You should work on your self-esteem since I see no reason to want to be with this person.

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Hi boltnrun, thanks for your reply

 

Yeah well he kinda does get angry quite a bit and I guess I want to be with him because we were together for so long and I feel like I invested a lot in the relationship then at the same time the way he is to me I don't think is fair. And I honestly thought after having not been together for two months he'd calm down. I get he's upset about what happened, but I thought he would have reacted a little calmer?

 

Why does being together for so long mean you have to stay with him forever?

 

As Dr. Phil says, the only thing worse than staying in a bad relationship for five years is staying for five years and one day.

 

He also says the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. In other words, do not expect him to "change".

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Can kiss, have sex with or do what ever you want if you are not in a relationship. And on this case you were broken up. It's none of his business what happened in those 2 months you were not together.

 

As for telling him the truth. Did he ask if you had kissed anyone else? If he didn't ask then not telling is not a lie. You could have not told him and you could have told him. It was your decision to do it and there is nothing wrong with it.

 

I think your boyfriend is an idiot. He has no right to even be upset and there is never a reason to say f you to your partner. He treats you like crap and expects You to wait around . You deserve better. You should work on your self-esteem since I see no reason to want to be with this person.

 

 

Hi there Rezie, thanks for the reply

 

Well he had asked me what had been going on with me in the last two months and in the back of my head was this 'incidence' so I was debating whether i should tell him or not. I thought the truth was going to come out one day so I thought by telling him the truth was the right thing to do. I don't know why but I just thought that? Yeah I was pretty upset how he spoke to me because I thought he would respond a little better? But I don't know

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Why does being together for so long mean you have to stay with him forever?

 

As Dr. Phil says, the only thing worse than staying in a bad relationship for five years is staying for five years and one day.

 

He also says the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. In other words, do not expect him to "change".

 

Hey there, thank you for your message

 

Yeah that's a pretty good point to be fair. And I see where you're coming from, I just feel like I'm the bad one now when my intentions were pure of telling the truth?

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Hi boltnrun, thanks for your reply

 

Yeah well he kinda does get angry quite a bit and I guess I want to be with him because we were together for so long and I feel like I invested a lot in the relationship then at the same time the way he is to me I don't think is fair. And I honestly thought after having not been together for two months he'd calm down. I get he's upset about what happened, but I thought he would have reacted a little calmer?

Don't ever stay with someone due to time invested. Ever.

 

Healthy relationships do not involve someone screaming at you. This is called abuse.

 

Why are you not hearing us!!!!!! He had no right! He dumped you! You could do what you wanted, as he dumped you, expecting you to wait around for him. He is a bully and is abusive. You are in a BAD relationship. He is ABUSIVE!!!!!!!

 

DON'T ALLOW PEOPLE TO TREAT YOU LIKE THIS!

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