Thoughts, Rants, and Musings

Weird timing for Roy’s resignation (but it is kind of funny).

I hope it's a wake-up call for the owners!

Your paycheck should clear at least for now, since they won’t be paying Roy or Marshal.

Haha--good point!!

How much longer are you doing the surveying? I thought that was temporary until you moved back into on-site office engineering with that company?

Yes, that was the agreement. I agreed to help them survey for 3 - 4 months and made sure they gave me written confirmation of the duration in my job offer.

However, as a result of that insurance debacle last month, I now know that Kasey plays fast and loose with agreement wording.

Example: Our employee handbook says that the waiting period for benefits is 60 days. However, when I pointed this out to Kasey, her response was, "For your knowledge and insight the 60-day wait is when you are eligible but not a guarantee of benefits for that day as start dates are determined by the insurance carriers."

I didn't bother to argue with that because I was trying to get her to pay me the difference in insurance costs (which she did), but I doubt her argument would hold water in small claims court.

Anyway, I felt a little silly pressing the issue of survey duration in my job offer, but after the last three months, I am sooo glad I did. I still expect them to try to jerk me around, though. Uggh.

The politician said “Oh don’t worry, I was only pretending to listen. We all know that I’m going to vote opposite to that, but I have to appear as if I am listening”. That was caught on a hot mic and heard by all of us. It made me so mad. So two faced.

Sheesh! Did he get reelected??

Yes and no.

 

I have to put in 80 hours over two weeks, but I am usually able to complete those 80 hours in eight 10-hour days.

 

So, I work through the first Saturday and Sunday, then I have a 5-6 day 'weekend.'

 

It's long days, but the lengthy amount of time off is really nice.

 

My boyfriend and I spent a lot of this past week in upstate NY, near my job site. So, this 'weekend' is going to seem a little short for me.

 

 

Thanks. I find that I get quite mad about things. I actually just woke up thinking about it. It's hard not to get mad when it seems like people are taking advantage of you.

I hate that. re: people taking advantage

Those are really long days!! Holy moly. Hats off to you.

Those are really long days!! Holy moly. Hats off to you.

Yes, it took some getting used to.

The first two or three go-arounds, I was exhausted. I really wanted a day or two off in the middle somewhere.

But I acclimated to it by the fourth time we went up.

Since then, it's been a lot easier to manage the long days and weeks.

Now, I'd rather push through eight days straight and have a long weekend than take a day off in the middle and have a shorter weekend.

I hope they don't try to put an end to that in Monday's meeting... Simon has already expressed that he wants us to take a day off.

I want to start giving all of these people pseudonyms, the way that I usually do. The problem is, I am running out of names. More of a problem is that I am having trouble remembering two of the guy's names and am afraid that if I give them fake names, I'll never get them straight. But it has to happen.

I've already screwed up my pseudonyms. I called one of the owners by two different names: William and Simon.

I think I'm going to go with Simon going forward. I hope I remember this....

However, as a result of that insurance debacle last month, I now know that Kasey plays fast and loose with agreement wording.

Wow, I had a scare earlier today. I found that on my last paycheck, for the period 8/3 - 8/14, the company charged me for health insurance.

Of course, my health insurance was delayed until September and Kasey (seemingly) agreed to compensate me for the out-of-pocket I was spending to extend my Obamacare through August.

I actually received that compensation in my last paycheck and considered the matter to be resolved.

But today, when I noticed the health insurance deduction, my heart dropped. It took everything in me not to fire off a nasty email.

But again, I didn't know if this was an honest mistake or a scam.

I decided to err on the side of diplomacy. It's worked for me so far.

To my great relief, Kasey responded very quickly. She said it was an error and asked if I wanted my refund in a check or as a credit against next month's premium payment.

I said either was fine.

Sheesh. These people are going to give me a heart attack.

I was away for work for my boyfriend's birthday, so I've made him special birthday meals on both weeks that I was back.

Last time, it was biscuits and gravy from scratch. This time, it's braised short rib stroganoff.

I have to make up this recipe as I go. It's a bit of a balancing act.

Did the guy get re-elected? I can’t remember. Small town city council guy, or something like that. This was years ago, but he would fit right in with today’s atmosphere...

This time, it's braised short rib stroganoff.

 

I have to make up this recipe as I go. It's a bit of a balancing act.

I think next time, I will make it with more mushrooms and less beef. The sauce came out good, though. Just didn't need that much beef....

I'm starting to think about making another move, career-wise.

Last Monday's meeting was a joke. Simon's a nice guy, but I don't see how this business can possibly be successful. They don't correctly identify or acknowledge the problems they are having.

It's coming up on the four-month mark at this job. According to our agreement, I should be coming out of the field and going into the office. Next week should be my last stint in the field.

I don't have high hopes for that. This company has not followed through on much of what they've promised so far.

Another thing: I'd be working for Kasey and I have doubts about Kasey's ability to run the architecture department. She keeps screwing up our paychecks and our benefits. She dodges problems.

I spoke to her briefly after the meeting last Monday and she told me about a project they recently submitted. She said, "We got our design in on time, but the MEP engineer blew his deadline."

Knowing what I know about architects and MEP coordination, and knowing what I know about this company's failure to identify problems, I suspect that they caused the MEP guy's delay. They probably designed the building without accounting for duct work--a common oversight with architects. That would cause any MEP guy to miss his/her deadline.

I don't want to work for another negligent company.

Our truck broke down again this past week. Stalled out three times in one morning, once when I was on the interstate going 65 mph. Stalled out again the next morning, on the way to drop it back off at the dealership.

I thought about this job as I followed Max to drop off the truck. I thought about Joe the Architect. He's retired from his job, but he still takes on projects. Maybe I can work for him.

It would be a big risk. My income would not be steady. It would probably decrease sharply. I would have to pay at least $400/month for health benefits. But I would have a boss that actually cared about my career development. I would have a lot of responsibility. I would be able to work from home or at his house (which is within a mile from home). I would have a lot of interaction with construction trades, because he does his own construction management.

Arnold likes the idea.

I just have to pitch it to Joe....

I'm going to meet with him on Thursday or Friday. At the very least, I'll plant the seed and have a potential option if my current employer doesn't keep their end of the bargain with me.

I'm starting to think about making another move, career-wise.

 

Last Monday's meeting was a joke. Simon's a nice guy, but I don't see how this business can possibly be successful. They don't correctly identify or acknowledge the problems they are having.

 

It's coming up on the four-month mark at this job. According to our agreement, I should be coming out of the field and going into the office. Next week should be my last stint in the field.

 

I don't have high hopes for that. This company has not followed through on much of what they've promised so far.

 

Another thing: I'd be working for Kasey and I have doubts about Kasey's ability to run the architecture department. She keeps screwing up our paychecks and our benefits. She dodges problems.

 

I spoke to her briefly after the meeting last Monday and she told me about a project they recently submitted. She said, "We got our design in on time, but the MEP engineer blew his deadline."

 

Knowing what I know about architects and MEP coordination, and knowing what I know about this company's failure to identify problems, I suspect that they caused the MEP guy's delay. They probably designed the building without accounting for duct work--a common oversight with architects. That would cause any MEP guy to miss his/her deadline.

 

I don't want to work for another negligent company.

 

Our truck broke down again this past week. Stalled out three times in one morning, once when I was on the interstate going 65 mph. Stalled out again the next morning, on the way to drop it back off at the dealership.

 

I thought about this job as I followed Max to drop off the truck. I thought about Joe the Architect. He's retired from his job, but he still takes on projects. Maybe I can work for him.

 

It would be a big risk. My income would not be steady. It would probably decrease sharply. I would have to pay at least $400/month for health benefits. But I would have a boss that actually cared about my career development. I would have a lot of responsibility. I would be able to work from home or at his house (which is within a mile from home). I would have a lot of interaction with construction trades, because he does his own construction management.

 

Arnold likes the idea.

 

I just have to pitch it to Joe....

 

I'm going to meet with him on Thursday or Friday. At the very least, I'll plant the seed and have a potential option if my current employer doesn't keep their end of the bargain with me.

Yeah. It sounds like you need to jump ship.

That is a huge deal when they screw up payroll and benefits. Sometimes companies like that don’t pay your FICA and FUTA quarterly taxes when they are supposed to...

You got some field experience for the summer, so there was that.

Can you get on Arnold’s health insurance?

Otherwise, you would pay for the ACA insurance through the exchange - but in my experience it was not cheap - for me, because I was self employed and made too much to qualify for much of a discount. My friend made such low income that the state covers all of her insurance.

If you work for Joe, you may need to be proactive to bid on jobs to make sure the income is steady.

Sometimes companies like that don’t pay your FICA and FUTA quarterly taxes when they are supposed to.

Ugh, I know.... That actually happened to me about 10 years ago, at my first architecture job. I had no idea it was happening and was stunned to owe almost $3K at the end of the year.

So, I've already thought about this possibility and have been thinking about comparing my previous job's pay stubs to my current job's pay stubs. My salary is about the same, so the withholdings should be similar.

I haven't gotten around to actually doing the comparison because I've been procrastinating.... but just now after reading your message, I went onto the IRS and NJ Treasury sites and pulled the information that I will need to calculate the correct amounts.

Maybe I'll dig into that today.

Can you get on Arnold’s health insurance?

Not unless we get married. But we may end up getting married. We were just talking about it the other night.

Otherwise, you would pay for the ACA insurance through the exchange - but in my experience it was not cheap - for me, because I was self employed and made too much to qualify for much of a discount.

I was on ACA for the last few months. No, it's not cheap at all--about $400/mo for the cheapest policy. So aggravating to be forced to pay almost $5000/year with a deductible of $3500 when I go to the doctor only once or twice per year. Such a fricking crapshoot. I can't think about it too much or I'll become infuriated. Already, my heart rate is through the roof.

If you work for Joe, you may need to be proactive to bid on jobs to make sure the income is steady.

Yes, that will be the big challenge. But getting work is always the challenge in this career. My end goal is to go into business for myself. So, sooner or later, I'm going to have to wrestle with this beast.

Yes- do compare your pay stubs!

As far as insurance- I had ACA for a while and had the first bout of cancer. I’m glad I had the coverage but you are right - I paid for the coverage and then paid again with all of the doctor visits and procedures.

Now my insurance is provided by my work and I’m thankful for that. Once I got my out of pocket expense limit of $6000 then I have not had to pay a thing the past few months.

After the end of the year I will have to start paying again when it resets. So I’m trying to proactively save the 6000 now, knowing it will come up again in January.

I’m in a better financial position than I was 11 years ago...

If you two want to get married, great.

But if you are just doing it for the insurance then you could do what my ex and his gf did- they researched the least they had to do to enter into a domestic partnership. I guess she didn’t want to get remarried because she has widow’s benefits that she would have lost. And my ex didn’t want to get remarried because he is an idiot and didn’t want to commit.

But he hated paying for the ACA insurance, and his gf works for the state or county and has great coverage. So they filed papers for a domestic partnership so he could get better insurance.

He did the least amount of things in order to qualify, haha! To the point of adding her to the title of a car that was dead in his driveway, because co-owning a vehicle was part of the proof.

Anyhow, I have now highjacked your journal with my own ramblings.

Anyhow, I have now highjacked your journal with my own ramblings.

Lol, not at all! I enjoy the discussion.

As far as insurance- I had ACA for a while and had the first bout of cancer. I’m glad I had the coverage but you are right - I paid for the coverage and then paid again with all of the doctor visits and procedures.

It makes a lot more sense if you have a condition that requires continuous medical treatment. In that case, you are actually saving money and the system is protecting you (as it should).

But I am (currently, thankfully) in excellent health, and the best I can do is a little over $10K per year.* I make a decent salary, but that's still a sizable chunk. The system is not protecting me. It's preying on me.

If you two want to get married, great.

But if you are just doing it for the insurance then you could do what my ex and his gf did- they researched the least they had to do to enter into a domestic partnership.

Unfortunately, in my state domestic partners are not eligible for insurance in the same way that spouses are. We looked into it when I was first laid off back in March/April.

But insurance isn't the only reason for getting married. There are other, equally important considerations. Like, what if one of us is (god forbid) badly hurt? We would each want to have full legal power in that case.

Plus, we love each other very much

_________________________

*I know that's higher than the sum of the amounts I posted in my last post, but that's what our ACA website says, so I'm guessing it's including hidden fees.

Marshal and I drove up together this past time in NY due to vehicle issues. We spent the whole three hours in conversation. Random things, mainly. But relationships did come up. Yes, he has a girlfriend. Yes, they are unhappy. I told him that I was in a happy relationship and why it was happy. I also informed him that I was a year older than his mother. After that, he seemed to lose whatever interest he may have had in me. Thankful for that. Still not looking forward to dealing with him as a roommate because he's pretty bullheaded. But maybe it won't completely suck.

Even though this chapter is effectively closed, this one thing keeps recurring to me and I want to encapsulate it in writing.

Honestly, I think I slept with the machete mainly because of Marshal. I really didn't trust him, pretty much from the moment I met him. I don't know if that's fair or not, but that's how I felt.

I keep remembering back to our drive together. The thing that I want to encapsulate is this:

At one point, Marshall spontaneously brought up the show "Shameless." He brought up a particular situation in the show that is going to take a few sentences to describe.

Apparently, one of the main characters in the show owns a bar.

Somebody somewhere (in the show) voted this bar as the most 'rapey' place in whatever city the show took place in.

In response, the owner of the bar launched a campaign to save his bar.

Basically, he advertised his bar as "vagina safe."

When Marshall related this story to me, I laughed out loud at "vagina safe." I thought it was really funny.

But simultaneously, I thought it was a weird topic to bring up. Especially out of the blue, the way he did.

What made it ever weirder to me was that I actually expected a conversation like this to take place!

Isn't that crazy? I actually anticipated that the naming of genitalia would take place during that drive.

So weird.

Anyway, I'm not worried about it any more. I just want it on paper. Hence, this post.

Before Roy quit, he worked about an hour north of the rest of us with a kid named Jason. Jason is about the same age as Ron, about 22. He doesn't have any experience except what he's learned through Roy.

When Jason learned that Roy was quitting, he said, "I have a friend who will do this job. He's not a surveyor, but he's willing."

I thought, Fat chance, kid. They're not gonna hire your friend. They need a surveyor.

Well, this company has once again done the unexpected. They hired Jason's friend, Albert.

They now have two kids with no survey experience up there surveying without any guidance... can't see how that's a good idea.

Jason actually brought Albert to the big staff meeting we had last Monday. That was basically Albert's interview!

Also, before the meeting on Monday, Jason told me that he spent most days stoned while Roy did most of the work!

Honestly, I've never seen anything like this before.

With Roy and Marshal gone, Jean's been working with Ron, and I've been working with Max.

Well, Max is going on vacation this week, so the company has to shift crews again. Looks like I'm getting stuck with the stoners, Jason and Albert.

I'm not looking forward to wrangling these yo-yos.

I have this aggravating psychological obstacle. It's completely self-defeating:

I get angry when I do things that I enjoy doing. More specifically, I get angry when I engage in hobbies that are strictly for enjoyment.

For example, I enjoy drawing. But I never pick up a pen or pencil because the moment I do, I am stopped by anger.

It seems like I enjoy thinking about hobbies more than I actually enjoy doing them.... but I know that's not true because there was once a time where I fully enjoyed my recreational hobbies. I know there's more enjoyment in doing than there is in dreaming.

It feels like in some ways, I am lost in a dream world where I think about what I want to do, and never do it.

I am somehow cut off from a part of myself, and I'd like to reconnect.

Not sure how....

Maybe you're outgrowing your hobbies? Not necessarily anger but disinterest for me. I used to kayak and paint for example quite a lot and have all the stuff stored away but I have totally zero interest in both hobbies, as if I'm moving through into a new chapter or growth period. I'm kind of eager to learn other things that feed me in different ways.

I agree that there is an ebb and flow with hobbies. But in this case, I really have the urge to do these things.

It's not just old hobbies; it's also new ones that I'd like to explore (None of them come to mind at present, which is not surprising. This mental block is a symptom of the overall problem).

I think about the activities, visualize them, feel excited about them.

But when I move to carry out my vision, it's mental gridlock. It's like that river is dammed.

I think it has to do with deep seated anger and frustration that I've carried throughout my life.

I just want to poke a hole in the dam.

Do you remember a time when this wasn't a problem and you didn't have this feeling of being stopped or blocked from doing those things? I'm curious maybe what's on the other side of that. If something has happened and your mind is going into survival mode or freezing due to something you've experienced in the past after being able to dream.

My ex was a dreamer. I'm a doer. He dreamed more than he did and I did more than I dreamed. I couldn't understand why he seemed blocked in attaining them. Maybe it's trauma in the dreaming and putting things into action, anxious that it may not happen? Anyway I'm just thinking outloud, probably totally irrelevant.

Do you remember a time when this wasn't a problem and you didn't have this feeling of being stopped or blocked from doing those things? I'm curious maybe what's on the other side of that. If something has happened and your mind is going into survival mode or freezing due to something you've experienced in the past after being able to dream.

Yes, I drew and played music pretty for enjoyment up until I was about 14. That's around the time that my home life got really bad.

Actually that is an interesting insight--survival mode, or freezing.

I always attribute this situation to anger, but I'm not really an angry person. Maybe I'm still in that survival mode on some level...

I think what I feel when it happens is more frustration than anger.

My ex was a dreamer. I'm a doer. He dreamed more than he did and I did more than I dreamed. I couldn't understand why he seemed blocked in attaining them. Maybe it's trauma in the dreaming and putting things into action, anxious that it may not happen? Anyway I'm just thinking outloud, probably totally irrelevant.

I'm definitely a doer. But my actions are currently uncoupled from some of my dreams. I'm hoping the two will meet up again in the future.

I get that.. the frustration. I always hated school actually, had a lot of paranoia about it (part of my childhood). It blocked me from learning things in general so I'd say even though I had everything on paper, all the degrees and licences, I actually hated it and found learning new things pretty hard. I'd start something and then freeze. I honestly don't know how I made it through or did what I did. I definitely wasn't a conscious learner, more able to memorize and apply without a problem. I didn't enjoy any of it. If I think about the things I can do enjoyably start to finish it would be things that didn't involve any intense pressure or childhood trauma or breaks in perception or low self-worth back then.

Hope you can get back to doing things enjoyably too.. soon! Start to finish.. one day at a time.

Well, Max is going on vacation this week, so the company has to shift crews again. Looks like I'm getting stuck with the stoners, Jason and Albert.

 

I'm not looking forward to wrangling these yo-yos.

Off to an aggravating start.

Due to logistics, Jason and Albert will hit 80 hours well before I do, which will leave me stuck with about 3 more days of work than them.

Let me explain how and why.

First of all, we are obligated to work 80 hours every time we go up there. The company does not care how quickly we get this done. So, we usually try to work 10-hour days for 8 days straight so that we can go home and have a 6-day weekend.

There are three crews up there. Two crews (Jean and Ron, Mike and me) travel about 3.5 hours to get to our lodging (unit 8B). Most of our job sites are within an hour's travel of our digs.

The third crew (Jason and Albert) works in another county, north of the county that we are working in. Jason and Albert travel 5 hours to get to their lodging, and most of their job sites are within an hour of where they stay.

This week, Jason and Albert will be travelling 3 hours per day, round trip, to work with me. This particular job site is within 5 minutes travel of my lodging.

Travel time is included in our billable hours. So, Jason and Albert will bill 3 hours for travel, and 7 hours for actual work. Since the job site is so local to me, I won't be able to bill travel time. I will just be able to bill 7 hours of work.

So, for every 10 hours that Jason and Albert can bill, I will only be able to bill about 7. If we work 8 days straight, they will have 80 hours, and I will have 56 hours. They will go home, and I will be stuck up there for 2 - 3 more days. Doing what? I don't know, because it's not really solo work.

Since Max is going to be on vacation, we have an extra room at unit 8B. I offered this room to Jason and Albert, in the hopes that they would be willing to stay local and eliminate their travel time.

They said "no." Unfortunately (and unsurprisingly), they see the travel time as easy money. They are either oblivious or don't really give a sh*t that I'm getting screwed.

If I was 22 years old, I'm sure I would probably see things the same way: Me first.

They are friendly guys, and what you would call "good kids." But they are are so entitled and oblivious. It's really frustrating.

It's also not completely their fault. This company does not have a good grasp on the field operations, and due to this incompetence disparities like this often fall through the cracks.

Their Director of Survey, Jim, is a moron. He makes terrible decisions.

In my opinion, Max should really be in charge of this whole operation, but Jim has been with the company for three years, and Max has only been their or 9 months.

I would make the change in a heartbeat. But I guess the owners feel loyalty towards Jim.

Uggh.

Any time that I have to listen to Jim speak, I want to punch myself in the face.

It's like in the movie Airplane!, when Striker keeps telling his story to whoever is seated next to him, and that person ends up committing suicide.

It's that bad.

I think the worst thing is that Jim filibusters and lies to cover his ass when he overlooks something.

He overlooks a lot.

Jim's going to be coming up with us this week. I think I'm probably going to end up killing him. He's so annoying and counterproductive.

I wish I didn't get so triggered by liars.

I'm going to meet with him on Thursday or Friday. At the very least, I'll plant the seed and have a potential option if my current employer doesn't keep their end of the bargain with me.

I chickened out.

When I was there, it didn't seem like Joe's work load was great enough to support two people.

But we are currently working on a project together (my friend's house), so I will have frequent contact with him and will keep an eye open for opportunity.

The farther I get into my career, the more I understand the concept of "Serenity Now" lol.