Thoughts, Rants, and Musings

Wow that is a lot of stress though! I would definitely have my anxiety kicking in and making life harder.

Can they let you get updated software programs to make things faster, since they seem to expect you to deal with the changes and still hit original deadlines? If it were me, I'd probably ask for the updated programs I'd need, or at least suggest it as a possibility in the future.

Can they let you get updated software programs to make things faster, since they seem to expect you to deal with the changes and still hit original deadlines? If it were me, I'd probably ask for the updated programs I'd need, or at least suggest it as a possibility in the future.

It's not that simple, unfortunately. AutoCAD and Revit both require different work flows. It's a big change for an office to go from AutoCAD to Revit. Many never fully make it and end up using a combination of both, which is dumb. And Revit comes with its own baggage. One major issue is that it's a very challenging program to learn, and a costly transition for a company to undertake.

I have nudged a little in favor of Revit. Part of me hopes that my former coworker, Joe, comes on board because we can get a revit project rolling with momentum between the two of us.

But actually, it turns out that I was stressed for nothing! Today was just the due date for the progress set.

We have two weeks to finish the set!!! Ahhhh what a wonderful discovery that was this morning.

I actually knew that, too. I just somehow forgot. I guess I'm just used to having unreasonable deadlines.

Well, the client got a pretty complete set.... let's hope they don't change too much (they will).

I think one of my neighbors is a creep.

He moved in here last October, I think. 2019. He took an apartment down the hall from us.

At some point during his move in, I heard all of the racket and peeped my head out of my door to see what was going on.

A little later that evening, or perhaps the next evening, there was a knock on my door. It was the new guy from down the hall. He said, "Hey, I think I saw your husband just come in. Do you think he could help me lift my TV onto its stand?"

Arnold was away all week in Seattle for work, the first time we were ever apart for more than a day or two. This guy definitely did not see Arnold come into my apartment. So, immediately, I was skeeved and suspicious. I said, "He just ran out, sorry. Try someone else," and I pointed to the two other doors in our hallway.

I didn't offer to send Arnold later (not that I could have!). I didn't offer to help the guy myself. No way. It was too weird. Plus, the guy was a least 6 feet tall and looked like he could pick up a frickin TV set with his thumb and forefinger and toss it across a room like a nerf ball.

For the rest of the week, the guy left his door open for long periods of time during the day, like he lived in a dorm. This is a middle-aged man, older than me, perhaps even in his 50s. What's up with the dorm lifestyle, dude? When Arnold got home, he saw it too. He was like, what the eff?

So, the guy hasn't come knocking around my door since then, but he's freaking annoying. He seems to constantly lose his keys. I remember one time, I heard him knocking on my neighbor's door at like 11PM because he lost his key. Like, what's this poor guy going to do for you but lose sleep?

Then someone started leaving notes on one of the dryers in the laundry room, complaining that it was broken. I'm pretty sure that this was the new guy, because it never happened before that. I found it irritating and also pretty humorous. Like, why are you unable to deal with this? The service number is on the wall. Call it. If you are for some reason unable to call the service people, call the flippin superintendent!!! Use your pointer finger. Don't just leave a note on a broken machine.

Eventually, I started replying anonymously to these notes, advising the complainer to call his mom and have her deal with it. Arnold still doesn't know that this was me.... hehe.... he would disapprove.

Today, I heard my across-the-hall neighbor's buzzer go off, and then I heard conversation in the hallway.

"Sounds like that idiot locked himself out, again," I said to Arnold.

Arnold said, "He does that all the time during the week. He just rings everyone's doorbell until someone lets him in."

I was like, "What?"

He was like, "Yeah. He did it the other day. Someone let him in, and I stuck my head out the door to see who it was. When the guy saw me looking, he said, 'What's up.' I said, 'So do you just mash all the buttons until somebody lets you in?' He said, 'Yeah. Sorry about that. I lost my key. Thanks for letting me in.' I said, 'No problem,' even though I wasn't the one who let him in."

Uggh. Annoying.

Two Saturdays ago, I went to the wedding of one of my high school friends. My boyfriend and I knew lots of people there from when we were in HS, so we had fun reminiscing (and reeling over how much time had passed).

 

There was a guy at the wedding who I haven't seen in probably 15 years. His name is Tim, and my friends and I used to hang out with him and his friends when we were 17-18 yo and they were 21+ yo. He dated my friend Alicia for about 4 years. They had the most dramatic relationship. Always fighting.

 

I lost touch with Tim after HS, but ran into him again when I was in my mid-20s. I'd always known Tim was a heavy drinker, but this time I could see that he was an alcoholic. We hung out once or twice, but I felt sorry for him and therefore avoided him until he disappeared. It's hard for me to tolerate people that I don't respect.

 

Last weekend, I saw him again after probably 15 years. He looked really old, and was (unsurprisingly) still a heavy drinker. I learned that he'd been married for about 8 years, had two children under 10, and was in the process of divorcing his wife. I also learned that he was secretly dating a married mutual friend of ours (Jessica), who was conspicuously absent from the wedding that night.

 

I don't know what is going on with Jessica. We're friends, but other people are closer friends with her than I am. I hear a lot of strange things about Jessica....

 

....She has a secret life where she's been seeing Tim for 9 months. Tim was surprised that none of us knew that they were seeing each other. Apparently, she'd told him that all of us knew!! Jessica is some kind of DEEP liar. A few weeks ago, she made this big thing about never receiving an invitation to the wedding--to the point where the bride photographed the invitation and basically said, "Here, you're invited." During the wedding reception, Jessica group-texted me and my friends saying she was still at work, and how's the wedding. Then she texted that she was on her way. It was after this that I found out about her and Tim. So when she didn't show up at all, I realized she'd been setting everyone up for weeks.

 

Like anyone even cared!! It's so frickin weird and unnecessary.

Wow, almost three years to the day.... Almost.

Well, Tim died. End of September. Meant to post about it then, but forgot. And I was just looking for something in my old posts and found ^this one^ from three years ago.

My friend said it may have been his kidneys, but I suspect it was either cirrhosis of the liver or suicide. Sadly.

Despite the fact that he looked a wreck and acted a wreck, many people loved him and he will be missed. He had two young children...

The last time he and I actually hung out, I was probably about 26. It was July 4th. He got so shtface drunk. Kept trying to kiss me in the middle of the fireworks.

He did an epic faceplant on the sidewalk and some car full of kids pulled off to the side and started hooting and hollering at him.

Well, that really pissed me off. I didn't just yell at them, I screamed like a btch of the damned right into their car, wordless raging, fists clenched, muscles flexed in my halter top, teeth bared, face screwed up like a banshee. Over and over.

There is really a beast within me, boy. I still get pumped up thinking about it, even though another part of me is rolling her eyes.

Those kids got serious real fast. Unfortunately, they were stuck in the July fourth traffic, so they could only eek away slowly. Complete silence in the car. Total horror on the one boy's face. Poor kid thought he had an easy mark, lol.

I helped Tim up off the sidewalk and walked him home. He thought what I did was hilarious. Loved me for it. But I didn't want to hang out with him after that. I felt pity for him and I can't tolerate that feeling. I guess I do understand what "live and let die" means.... huh.

I'm glad I stood up for him.

I posted this picture a while back. It's from my prom 25 years ago.... he's fourth from the right, the one looking elsewhere. I think some part of him was always looking to escape.

I've been in tremendous pain with my back all week.

Actually, I've had pretty intense back pain since the end of September. But this week, I called out of work Monday, part of Thursday, and yesterday, because of it.

Yesterday was the worst. I could barely think straight. The slightest movement cause terrible spasms. I couldn't stand up straight.

Today, I seem to be improving. I am still in a lot of pain, but I am standing up straighter. Also, I can now bring my right knee to my chest, whereas just this morning I wasn't able to without causing a big spasm.

I'm still a wreck, though. Laid up. It's so annoying.

Is it the pain that was caused by the car accident?

Do you still visit a chiropractor?

Hope it goes away soon.

Yes, unfortunately.

I went to the chiropractor on Monday and I did get some relief on Tuesday and Wednesday. But the pain returned with a vengeance and it just became better to lie around.

How do you cope at work? It must be a torment.

Oh no! First your knee, now your back. Damn.

Are you taking any muscle relaxers or pain killers, or both? My back gives me problems sometimes too and all I can do it literally just wait it out till it settles back down again.

This getting older thing, is no fun. Can we rewind back to 20 something? Or maybe just our bodies, lol.

How do you cope at work? It must be a torment.

I don't! When it's this bad, I call out. I can't think straight.

Oh no! First your knee, now your back. Damn.

I know. This is ten times worse than the knee, though. What a month.

Are you taking any muscle relaxers or pain killers, or both? My back gives me problems sometimes too and all I can do it literally just wait it out till it settles back down again.

I try not to take anything. The over the counter stuff doesn't do anything, and I don't want to field dependence/ addiction/ other side effects from the stronger stuff. But I have an appointment this Wednesday with a new pain management specialist and I may ask him to give me something mild that I can use when I'm laid up like this. The neck pain is awful, but when my lower back goes, I can't move anything without being punished for it.

This getting older thing, is no fun. Can we rewind back to 20 something? Or maybe just our bodies, lol.

Yes, give me back collagen production, please!! My injuries just don't heal properly any more.

I hear ya on the meds front. I am the same way. I refuse anything stronger than Tylenol, unless I am in immense pain, but even then, I refuse narcotics.

When I was having gallbladder attacks, I took Torodol and it worked great. It's basically a stronger version of Ibuprofen, but it's prescription only. But as far as I recall, there is no chance of addiction.

Do you have a heating pad? Those have saved me many times over when I am in a lot of pain. It would be well worth it to invest in one. I couldn't live without mine. It helps my back so much when it acts up.

I have been living on a heating pad since late September lol. I'm also using ice packs. I have a couple that I can cinch on like a belt.

I felt so much better yesterday evening. I still couldn't stand up straight, but I was able to move around more on the couch.

This morning, I am in more pain, but maybe it will improve again over the course of the day, as my muscles loosen up.

I can't wait for Wednesday to come.... praying for Wednesday.... wish my appointment was Monday...

Damn. :( I hope your back sorts itself out soon. Yes, hoping Wednesday gets here quickly!

Just catching and so sorry you've been enduring this for so long

Back pain is the worst. It seems to take forever for it to go away. Only to return.

The sad reality is you end up being a lifetime member to the worst club ever.

Hoping you get some answers soon.

Thanks.

I tried to get my pain management appointment bumped up, but no dice. Apparently it's a miracle that I even got a Wednesday appointment.

Around 10AM, I went to the local urgentcare to see if they could get me drugs. I don't like going that route, but literally nothing works, exercise, stretching, advil, tylenol, naproxen, walking, lying down, nothing.

Boy was that place overloaded! Covid testing.

But they were at the tail end of that. So it was a long wait, but not as I thought it would be.

They gave me a shot of Toradol and a prescription for Flexeril, which I've taken. Then I went to the chiropractor.

I feel a little better, but we'll see how it goes.....

I hate this club.

With my back acting up the way it is, I have been spending most of my time doing brainless activities, like clicking around on the internet and watching movies.

The other day, I discovered a show on Netflix called, "Married at First Sight."

I don't normally go for this type of thing, but for some reason, it rang my bell when I saw it and I started watching it.

It's season 9 of the series. It irks my boyfriend that I didn't start watching the series in chronological order (starting with season 1) but I don't have that kind of time, lol!

Anyway, I think I'm on episode 10 or 11 at this point and it's pretty engrossing. Two of the couples seem to be doing pretty well; the other two.... not so well.

When I'm not feeling well or am burnt out, I like watching those kinds of shows too. Haven't seen that one, can imagine the drama lol.

I really hope you get relief soon.

Thank you!

With my back acting up the way it is, I have been spending most of my time doing brainless activities, like clicking around on the internet and watching movies.

 

The other day, I discovered a show on Netflix called, "Married at First Sight."

 

I don't normally go for this type of thing, but for some reason, it rang my bell when I saw it and I started watching it.

 

It's season 9 of the series. It irks my boyfriend that I didn't start watching the series in chronological order (starting with season 1) but I don't have that kind of time, lol!

 

Anyway, I think I'm on episode 10 or 11 at this point and it's pretty engrossing. Two of the couples seem to be doing pretty well; the other two.... not so well.

Oh. . .I got addicted to those early covid lock down.

Married at First Sight is pretty interesting. Some of it reminds me of things that I see here, on this forum.

There are four couples:

Diona and Greg

Matt and Amber

Elizabeth and Jaime

Iris and Keith

They have eight weeks to decide whether they want to stay together or get divorced. I'm sure they can get divorced after 8 weeks if they want.... But maybe it's free at 8 weeks? I don't know all the rules and particulars; I'm just here for the ride.

So far, Diona and Greg, and Iris and Keith, are the most stable couples. They have their ups and downs, but they seem pretty solid.

I thought Jaime and Elizabeth would crash and burn. Elizabeth struck me as crazy and high maintenance, and Jaime struck me as uptight and particular. But it looks like Jaime is probably even crazier than Elizabeth--he just looks normal. The two of them had some really absurd, yet explosive fights early on. They really hurt each other's feelings. Hopefully they will learn to be kind to each other, but they may just turn out to be drama-addicts. Which is fine. Just not for me.

The couple I'm really worried about is Matt and Amber. Matt seems like a quiet, laid back type of guy, but he did a couple of things that made me feel nervous for Amber.

The first thing happened when they were discussing children. Red flags went up for Amber when he said he might not want children for 8 years. But red flags went up for me when he said this:

"Kids don't scare me. Being tied to and connected to that person that you had a kid with for the rest of your life no matter what--that's what scares me.... It's not like you can just say, 'I don't want to deal with you anymore,' and move on. You can't; you have a child together. You are automatically bonded, by default, to that other human being, for the rest of your life."

In a subsequent interview, Amber asked the hypothetical question, "If we are married, doesn't that mean that we are bonded life? ... What does he think marriage is?"

I really wish she had asked him those exact questions during their conversation. But she just sort of absorbed it without much reaction. And later, when she was talking to her sister about their conversation, she only mentioned that he might want to wait 8 years to have children.

The second thing that happened in the Matt-Amber relationship is that Matt did not come home one night, for no apparent reason. On top of that, he left his wedding band behind in one of his dresser drawers. Amber was very torn up and in tears over this. I felt really bad for her. But Matt didn't seem to care at all what she might have been feeling. He wouldn't respond to her phone calls and eventually turned his phone off. When he came back the next day, Matt gave Amber a couple of excuses and the whole thing was forgotten. Really not good.

I think Matt dislikes Amber. She might be too intense for him--she is a little intense. Not Elizabeth-intense, but intense.

They stopped having sex so that they could get to know each other more. This was apparently Matt's idea. Maybe he feels overwhelmed.

His micro expressions are not good. He avoids eye contact with her, and she realizes it on some level. You can see the disappointment in her face.

But what is she supposed to do? He won't admit his true feelings.

Difficult situation.

Another tough one is Elizabeth and Jaime. Those two are painful to watch. Especially Jaime. Elizabeth makes rash decisions, but Jaime is downright abusive.

It just ended a few weeks ago but the Australian MAFS season was really, really good.

I've checked different streaming services to catch other seasons and I'm shocked they want you to pay to watch them! There are over a dozen seasons of them. Someone must be paying for it or they wouldn't be asking.

I think I've watched all I could get away with without having to get my wallet out.

I downloaded the lifetime app on my TV and there were more to view on that. I no sooner get a couple episodes in and I get an error message everytime now. Frustrated :/

It just ended a few weeks ago but the Australian MAFS season was really, really good.

I'll have to check it out!

I've checked different streaming services to catch other seasons and I'm shocked they want you to pay to watch them! There are over a dozen seasons of them. Someone must be paying for it or they wouldn't be asking.

I wonder why Season 9 was free?

***Begin Spoiler Alert***

Finished the season. Unsurprisingly, Matt turned out to be a dirty dog. He was literally covered with red flags. And he was filled to the top of his 6'-9" height with bullsh*t.

What bugged me most about him was his answer to the experts when they asked him, "What did you enjoy most from being married?" His response was along the lines of, "It's nice to have someone there. I don't have to de alone."

My boyfriend thought this was a sucky response because it was so generic. He could have been talking about anyone. He could have been talking about a dog, or his pet fish.

I think my boyfriend is right. But I also think Matt's statement showed how rotten he really was.

Matt had someone waiting for him, so that he didn't feel alone: Amber.

But Matt didn't reciprocate. In fact, he abandoned her. He withheld his companionship and forced her to be alone while he enjoyed the experience of not being alone.

Could this be a coincidence? Doubtful. I think this was intentional, even if it was subconscious. There's something really sick about that.

I wasn't surprised that Elizabeth and Jaime stayed together. They actually do have a relationship, even if it is a very unhealthy one. Jaime has the same kind of crazy that Elizabeth has, but he's a level crazier. The main difference between them is that Jaime maintains a calm outward expression while launching his vitriol. A lot of people think that if you look calm, it means you're acting rationally. But that's not true.

I have to admit, I'm a little worried that Elizabeth chose to move so far away with him. I don't like the way that he beats up on her.

I was surprised that Keith decided to divorce Iris. I'm not really sure what that was all about. He tried to come up with some reasons for it at the reunion. The reasons mainly centered around him not wanting to teach Iris intimacy and emotional maturity.

Those reasons sounded absurd in and of themselves, first because Keith and Iris are the same age, and second because you can tell from watching the show that she is definitely mature and capable of intimacy. Iris dismantled each of his excuses in mere seconds with a short question and answer session, and showed that they were nonsensical. She really made mince meat of Jaime, but in the kindest way.

I don't think Jaime ever consciously realized that he lost the argument. I think that, in a subconscious way, Jaime knows that Iris is the smarter, more mature one and he doesn't want to get schooled by her. But he is unable to admit that to himself. He looked very uncomfortable at the reunion. He was definitely practicing extreme face control.

I guess I also have to say something about Deona and Greg... They were fun to watch. I really liked the way that Greg handled Deona. He had a great sense of humor and so did she.

***End Spoiler Alert***

My boyfriend's friend, Robin, died today. We knew it was probably coming soon. She was 80 years old and had lung cancer. But she seemed very healthy just a few short weeks ago.

She worked for my boyfriend's parents, and knew Arnold since he was a teenager. When he returned to work for his parents, he and Robin grew close.

She was a widow. Arnold felt protective of her and doted on her. We often visited her at her house and went to dinner with her and another older couple.

It's going to take a while for it to sink in that she's not here anymore.