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Thread: Thoughts, Rants, and Musings

  1. #651
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    I had a steroid injection in my neck today, so I had to take the whole day off of work.

    Boo hoo.

    Not.

    When I got home, I watched a couple of movies. One of these was Bridget Jones's Diary, which I have a lot of affection for. I was about 24 when it came out, and while I've never faced the same matrimonial pressures as she did, I've always found her misadventures to be delightfully relatable.

    One of the most relatable scenes in the movie is where she runs down the street in her underwear, in the snow, to catch Marc Darcy, her love interest. I may not have actually done that for a love interest, but I have often done this (in front of college neighbors) to get a cigarette out of my car while stoned and/or drunk, or because I was tripping and having a spiritual experience. I am ordinarily a very modest person, but when I have an objective, I tend to stop caring.

    I did once jump into the ocean in my underwear in front of an NFL defensive tackle and his friends. I won't say the player's name, but maybe you can figure it out if your football knowledge is deep. He played for 12 years and he switched to a brand new team about midway. Both teams are currently forces to be reckoned with. That's all the info I'll give you. For the purposes of this story, his pseudonym is Brian.

    I was 19 at the time. Here's what happened: My friend Joanna had met a male underwear model somewhere and was hell bent on meeting the guy down the shore on July 4. I went along with her. We met up with the underwear model and his friend later in the day, at his uncle's house, which was right off of the boardwalk.

    Once there, we found out the uncle was this defensive tackle for xyz football team. We didn't expect the uncle to show up, but he did, late evening, along with two other big dudes. So it was me, Joanna, and five strange dudes, three of whom could snap the other four of us in half. But they were all totally cool. The DT and his friends didn't try to intimidate us girls or pressure us into sex or anything like that--possibly because they respected that we were with the nephew and his friend, possibly because they were ok guys.

    I was drunk, I was thirsty, I stuck my head under the sink to get a drink of water and the three big guys decided I was nuts. I guess that's debatable. Brian dared me to jump in the ocean and that sounded like the greatest idea I'd ever heard of in my life. I love the waves. Plus, he offered me $20 as if I wouldn't do it for free.

    Zero thought, I walked out of the house and down to the ocean. As I got closer to the ocean, I ran. Then I realized I wouldn't have any dry clothes if I went in as-is. So, I pulled off my shirt and my shorts as I ran. I remember some onlookers hooting and hollering, and then I reached the surf and dove in. It was perfect.

    Those guys really thought I was crazy for doing it, but I felt like everyone should be doing it.

  2. #652
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    I've mentioned a couple of times that there is this guy at work (pseudo)named Andrew who often stops by my desk and chats me up. I became concerned about it because I thought it was excessive. I was afraid that he was trying to hit on me. I made it clear that I had a boyfriend, but that didn't seem to phase him.

    At our office Christmas party last year, I introduced Andrew to my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I had some enjoyable conversations with Andrew and his girlfriend about restaurants and weekend excursions. Andrew's girlfriend was gorgeous. A couple weeks later, he proposed to her. After meeting his girlfriend and then them getting engaged, I felt like I was off the hook in terms of being hit-on.

    However, Andrew never stopped visiting my desk. And a lot of the time, it was to complain about his fiance. That threw me off again and made me feel like he could still be hitting on me. So, I tried to sidestep that aspect of the conversation.

    Recently, Andrew went on a lengthy vacation to Greece with his fiance. I think the vacation went well because upon his return, he didn't stop by my desk much or complain about his fiance.

    But then, the other day, Andrew gave me a souvenir from Greece. It was small and pretty and I really like it. I'm not giving it back! But I texted a picture of it to my boyfriend explaining that Andrew brought me a souvenir.

    I realize that all of this could be the most innocent of exchanges, even the visits and the complaints. But because I have some level of uncertainty, I felt that not telling my boyfriend about it would be akin to hiding something from him.

    It's weird how emotions work. But it just feels better to keep my boyfriend in the loop.

  3. #653
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    He is not hitting on you but he likes you.

  4. #654
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Yeah, you're probably right. He knows my family is Greek and that is probably why he has this affection for me. And he's a nice guy. Gets along with everyone. I know I can be a little hypersensitive about these things and thus quick to throw up boundaries where they may not be necessary. My comfort zone tends to be fck off, which isn't always fair to people.

    However, in my defense, complaining to me about his fiance is not making him look good. I do get that this may just be his way of shooting the sht and that his 'complaints' may really just be very minor everyman topics to bs about. I'm not saying it is wrong to do so. But it raises warning flags for me and I am wondering why that is.

    I think I can come up with two reasons off hand.

    First, my relationship is off limits to people who are not in it. Minor day-to-day disagreements--even if they become very heated--aren't topics of discussion outside of my relationship. The only way that would change is if things got very bad, or if there was a recurring problem that we couldn't work past. Then, I would start to solicit the opinions of others. So, when people start talking to me about their relationship problems, I think my first assumption is that things are in dire straights.

    Second, some people do actually use relationship-complaints as "feelers" to gauge the level of romantic interest in others. It's tactic that I've been blindsided by. So, unfortunately, my blindness in this area has tarnished my overall outlook (sort of a self-defense) and I can be a little jumpy.

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  6. #655
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    When I was in graduate school, I made friends with pretty much everyone in my class. It wasn't a huge class--maybe 25 people or so. But we were pretty close-knit then and have loosely kept in touch these last 9 years.

    I see some of them more than others. Two weekends ago, I went to dinner with three of them and their respective partners. When we said hello, we gave each other the biggest bear hugs. It was so nice.

  7. #656
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    Bridget Jones Diary ~ my all time favorite

  8. #657
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    It's so funny :)

  9. #658
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    I joined a fantasy football league at work. My boyfriend actually manages my team. Last year, we won. It was the first time either of us played fantasy football, but he was a natural at it. This year, we're starting off strong. But I'm not counting my chickens yet because I've seen crazy things happen with football.

    I've never been big on football, but somehow fantasy football makes it more interesting and easier to learn. This year, I actually sit down with my boyfriend when he watches games. I actually make sure all of my work is done and I am home!

    I'm not a fan of any particular team. I just like to see good players (and good teams). One stand-out team has been the Patriots. I spent a couple hours last weekend watching documentaries about Tom Brady and Bill Belichick.

    Bill reminds me a lot of my old boss, Mark: Quiet, brilliant, organized, competent. Default position: gentle, kind. Yet still spent every recess exchanging punches with his friends.

    He was a coach, too. All three bosses were coaches, actually. I've often wondered if that was why their projects ran so smoothly: they knew how to run a team, minimize conflict, maximize output.

    I really miss all those guys. I like my job now and I like the people I work with, but I also miss the people from my old job. Especially Mark.

  10. #659
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Today was one of those crisp, clear, gorgeous fall days. As I walked into the office from my car this afternoon, I abruptly recalled that it had been the same kind of day on September 11, 2001. That morning, I also marveled at the beautiful weather as I walked into my office... Once inside, I heard one of the secretaries say, "A plane hit the World Trade Center." I assumed some amateur pilot in a cessna made a big mistake. Then the other plane hit....

  11. #660
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Mark called me into his office to talk this morning.

    He started by saying that he sees how hard I work (immediately I thought something bad was coming!), and that part of the reason Iíve been bouncing around so much is that people have had doubts about my skill.

    He said that a lot of that has to do with me being paired up with Catherine when I first started. I wanted to add, And because Frank capitalized mercilessly on that disaster and tried to make me out to be a moron... But I held my tongue. Mark went on to say that he sees potential in me. I thought, Oh boy, here comes the bad thing....

    But it wasn't really bad.

    He said that with two people leaving Shannonís group (Jolene and Ahmed (who just gave his notice recently)), they wanted to put me there to help Shannon and Jason run the department.

    Ah. I understood why so much preamble. People don't look fondly on that group. Some may see this as a bad move for me. But I donít see it that way. I think it will be very good for me, professionally.

    Mark didn't realize that I felt that way, though.

    He went on to say something to the effect of me having ďshop skillsĒ or something (I can't remember the words he used), and referred to the spreadsheet Iíd sent him when I first complained to him about Catherine last August. This was a spreadsheet with graphs that showed how my overtime hours had accumulated to a point where, at week 12, I had put in 15 weeks worth of hours on the project--and still we made no real progress. I sent it to support my argument and illustrate Catherine's complete lack of oversight. It was a pretty nice spreadsheet. I happen to be very good at excel.

    Mark said that he felt this would be a good move for me, that it would help to round out my skills. He gave me this spiel about 'design architects' that donít know how to build, 'nuts-and-bolts architects' that donít know how to design, architects that can design well and can build well but who donít understand real estate, and finally architects that design and build well and who do understand real estate.

    He was probably going somewhere with that speech, now that I am thinking about it. He was probably trying to sell me the nuts-and-bolts experience that I am probably going to have with Shannon (a lot of architects balk at that; they think itís somehow below them).

    Anyway, if he was trying to make a pitch, he never quite got there. He said he was in the fourth category, and at the earliest point I could, I interjected and said that I was aiming to be in the fourth category as well. I said that I got into architecture after taking a real estate class, and that real estate has always been part of my vision.

    Mark asked me if I minded moving my seat. I said no. He gave me a choice of desks to move to.

    That's something, actually. I saw them move one of my coworkers (Ilene) to that department without saying a word to her! They just moved her sh*t to a new desk and she learned about it when she came in on Monday morning! Eventually, she quit--which I'm sure is what they wanted and why they did that. The fact that Mark actually sat down and talked to me about it beforehand and gave me a choice of seats tells me that they don't want me to feel unwelcome and leave.

    I am optimistic about this. My project with Mitchell is languishing, and his department is slow on work right now. I'd rather have steady work than have to hustle sporadically and juggle multiple diverse projects.

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