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Thread: 21, in a relationship and sexually frustrated

  1. #1

    21, in a relationship and sexually frustrated

    I'm 21 (female) and I'm dating a 28 year old. Ive had my round of men before him so I know exactly what I like during sex and he's PERFECT. But what sucks the most is how I made him wait 4 months before I even let him kiss me and finally i gave it up to him...and now I don't get it as much as I would like. We had a lot of sex all the time when I finally gave in. But now after a year, I'm sexually frustrated what's wrong with me? Why doesn't he want to have sex with me as much anymore? I need some advice you guys...he's such a great boyfriend outside of sex but he just won't have sex with me. May 15th was first time we had sex in over a month..I'm going crazy. He gets mad at me when I use my dildo to get a release out but what am I to do? I don't wanna cheat on him nor do I want to leave him just because I'm sexually frustrated I'm just stuck. I try buying different sexy outfits and stuff and I just don't understand...I know I'm not ugly..I need your help you guys.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member happyfrank's Avatar
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    Run!

    He has control issues. That's a bigger problem. I say release whenever you can.

    Good luck.

  3. #3
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    What are the reasons you're not having sex? Is he too busy to see you? Is he saying he's too tired? Is he not initiating? I feel like there's not enough information here for us to help with the problem. Like what is the actual problem that's causing him to not be able to or want to have sex? Erectile dysfunction? Specifics please

  4. #4
    Gold Member Fun Boater 1's Avatar
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    Sounds like you need to communicate your needs to him more effectively. You have every right to expect and ask him for more sex. Don't be afraid to have that conversation with him because talking about issues such as this is very healthy. Continuing to avoid the topic is NOT healthy and if allowed to fester and go unresolved will ultimately lead to the end of the relationship. Ask him! Tell him! Talk to him about it!

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  6. #5
    Ask him why straight up Hun took me 4 years to ask why same situation was trying everything to turn him, You would be surprised what the answer might be , but at the very least u deserve an answer x

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    Originally Posted by happyfrank
    Run!

    He has control issues. That's a bigger problem. I say release whenever you can.

    Good luck.
    That's a rather irresponsible leap. The comment that drove you to assume control issues, points more to insecurity. He feels insecure because he knows he isn't giving her what she needs.

    OP - If everything else is going well and you have been together a year, you should be able to sit him down and have an honest conversation about what's going on...even if it takes a few drinks to get there.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member happyfrank's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by hyden
    That's a rather irresponsible leap. The comment that drove you to assume control issues, points more to insecurity. He feels insecure because he knows he isn't giving her what she needs.

    OP - If everything else is going well and you have been together a year, you should be able to sit him down and have an honest conversation about what's going on...even if it takes a few drinks to get there.
    Sounded like he doesn't allow her to masturbate. That's very controlling imo.

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    The fact that he waited for 4 months is rare, but there has maybe been a price for that. Sounds like he's not into sex that much and is also controlling. Getting mad at you for masturbating when you'd rather have sex, is not on. Time to leave in all honesty.

  10. #9
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    I agree with those who say that an open and honest conversation about the reasons WHY he is not having sex with you is in order. Importantly, be calm and don't be accusatory about it, but rather LISTEN to what he'll say to you and try to understand him.

    From there, the action it depends on what the reasons are. He could be busy/tired or have a health issue or just a lowered libido or something. But it needs to be discussed, b/c we here don't know and can't tell you his reasons.

    However, if it is something that doesn't have a solutions and can't be helped, I think you should totally be able to masturbate and use whatever tools you need to get you the release. Why would he be upset about a dildo? It is not a person, just a thing you use with yourself.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member RainyCoast's Avatar
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    how and why is he updated on when you masturbate, with or without a dildo?

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