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Thread: Ex from seven years ago married

  1. #1
    sunday2010
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    Ex from seven years ago married

    My ex from seven years got married in November 2016 he began dating this girl eight months after dumping me.hiw have I found this out? By the internet..
    I'm devastated. The reason? Well he told my parents when we were in our second year of dating he would never marry and have kids... He lied and did so.What was wrong with me why wasn't I good enough.my situation I do not wish to discuss... But finding out my soulmate went into marry has sent me spiralling how can I move past this?

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    Hollyj
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    How long were you together?

    How did you find out this info?

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    Hollyj
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    Did you leave your husband?

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    Clio
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    People change their mind about things. He just changed his mind. Nothing was wrong with you. The timing was not right then/he was a different person. People change. Situations change. It sounds like you are unhappy with your present and trying to avoid it by focusing on your past. Yet, that is counterproductive. What happened seven years ago is ancient history and irrelevant. Both of you were different people back then. You need to focus on the present. This guy is irrelevant, just an escape mechanism of your mind trying to avoid dealing with your present and your real problems.

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    boltnrun
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    But you also got married.

    It shouldn't hurt you that your ex got married since you have a husband of your own.

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  7. #6
    sunday2010
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    We were together three and a bit years .. He said to my parents I'll never marry what he really meant was I will never marry your daughter... Yes I am married and I have been nearly five years. I've just been feeling a bit shocked by the news.. I found out on the internet by searching names... Yes I know that's wrong... And I only have myself to blame by being curious... The way he dumped me is something I can never forget and seven years later it's still just as horrible to think of..

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    megamuppet
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    When I met my now husband, who was 45 when we met, he had been in lots of long term relationships, even had a daughter. He said he never wanted to get married because he always had a bit of doubt with each partner. 12 months in, he proposed.

    Sometimes things don't feel 100% right. Peoples priorities change etc. Don't feel too bad. Imagine if he did marry you and then had an affair with his now wife? You have a husband who I assume you love. Put your energy into him x

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  10. #8
    glitterfingers
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    He didn't lie. He voiced his true feelings as they were at the time. The funny thing about people is they tend to change dramatically over the course of their lives, and very few people (if any) have the same values/thoughts/beliefs consistently. That's just part of being human. It also doesn't mean that he would never have felt that way about you if you, hypothetically, were still together 7 years later when he was mature enough to marry. But thankfully you've both grown and have better lives now.

    My ex from 6 years ago dumped me citing that he wanted to focus on university and didn't have the time/energy for our relationship. He met someone new about 3 months later, and although I know they split up early on and got back together (probably for similar reasons on his part), they are now engaged and have two beautiful children together. I'm just glad for him that he found someone who put him in touch with the man he was going to become. I have no resentment for my former partners who are now in happy relationships, even if they seemed horrible when we split up - relationships are about mutual growth, and you should be happy that you were an important part of this guy growing into a husband and father figure

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    sunday2010
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    I was told our values never change it's the one constant thing . I got that from a life coach. We don't change our values .. I did a questionnaire on it and all my values I'd had
    As a child were the same

  12. #10
    megamuppet
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunday2010 [Register to see the link]
    I was told our values never change it's the one constant thing . I got that from a life coach. We don't change our values .. I did a questionnaire on it and all my values I'd had
    As a child were the same
    I agree, most people don't change their values but I once worked with someone who had a very strange view of relationships, especially in regards to women. It was only when he had a daughter himself that he realised that his sexist and rude comments were inappropriate and he admitted that if someone treated his daughter the way he had treated women in the past he would be furious.

    Now he is actually quite a nice man to be around!

    Sometimes the things we think are important and valuable to us change, but it is usually in a positive way x

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