Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Crush at work leaving, Im extremely upset and need to vent. Help me please.

  1. #1
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Melbourne,Australia
    Posts
    206
    Gender
    Female

    Crush at work leaving, Im extremely upset and need to vent. Help me please.

    My coworker I have had a crush on for a year is leaving our work as he got another job. I knew it was going to happen soon and since I found out I have been shattered. I keep thinking how,dull work will be. I am really not enjoying work for other reasons already. I used to like going, even before I liked him.

    So basically I am in a relationship with the perfect guy. I love him with my everything. I think about us getting married,having kids etc. This married guy at work started flirting with just me. He would come looking for me to make fun of me and flirt.

    When I realized I was getting feelings for him I stopped being friendly as I love my boyfriend. And I think he guessed why and stopped being flirty at all.
    And now we are polite. But he is leaving and I am upset.

    I feel so stupid. Why is this even upsetting at all ?? I just wanna sleep constantly. I hate getting so attached to certain coworkers. It hurts every time. Has anyone else gone through this and how did you cope?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    2,807
    Gender
    Female
    It's just your ego. You liked the attention, it's normal. Now that he's leaving you're missing that, and yes, you attached to him. You will see that it was for the better that he left. Workplace flirting or flings are dangerous. Also he is married. Take your time to miss him if you have to, but realize that it'll soon pass.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member greta96's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    USA
    Age
    41
    Posts
    4,975
    Gender
    Female
    Yes I've had crushes at work, and they were (mostly) fun because they really made my time at work more enjoyable and interesting than it would have been otherwise. The best thing about these crushes is that they go away pretty easily, once you stop seeing them on a daily basis. Since they are not relationships or even dating situations, they are superficial. You don't truly know the person, so the attachment is more in your mind than a real attachment.
    For me, they just faded in time, even though none of us left. Or even if one of us ended up leaving, the crush had ended before that. Not seeing him every day will suck at first, but the feeling won't last. Perfect example of "out of sight, out of mind".

  4. #4
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Melbourne,Australia
    Posts
    206
    Gender
    Female
    Thank you guys so much. I feel like I know I'll be OK but it still sucks. I think you are right it definitely is an ego thing, time to let it go. I have been through this before but its been a while is all. Thanks for not judging.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Melbourne,Australia
    Posts
    206
    Gender
    Female
    I think also I need to stop depending on others to make me happy or feel like I am worth something. I am worth more, I am special and sometimes I feel like I'm not special to anyone, but thats,ridiculous as no one gives me reason to feel that way.

    And I always seem to be,attracted to men who show me any sort of positive attention. I need to stop this. Whether,they are married or not but they are only flirting because they are,feeling more relaxed.

    I need to remember this.

    I'm tired of going through this over and over. I just want to live my life and be happy within myself.

  7. #6
    It's so funny,the same thing just happened to me.I'm a little different in that my marraige is not a happy one.This man made me feel attractive and special.This is the key.It is not the individual themselves but a need they fill.I was also very sad at him leaving and wondered how I would handle being at the job without him.There were a few tough days but I have to learn I don't need affirmation that Im special.Still learnimg lol.I also go through this again and again.It's getting old and so am I.Take care.

  8. #7
    I am in the same situation, except that in my case I'm the one leaving. A few more days and, I'll never see him again.. He is an amazing guy, kind, chivalrous, funny and super cute. How I wish we could be good friends, as nothing more can happen in this life. At this point I feel like I would be happy with just being able to see him. I can tell he likes me too, but we both have kept a distance since I'm already someone else's. I don't know how I'll be able to say goodbye to him.

  9. #8
    Originally Posted by LynnMagno
    It's so funny,the same thing just happened to me.I'm a little different in that my marraige is not a happy one.This man made me feel attractive and special.This is the key.It is not the individual themselves but a need they fill.I was also very sad at him leaving and wondered how I would handle being at the job without him.There were a few tough days but I have to learn I don't need affirmation that Im special.Still learnimg lol.I also go through this again and again.It's getting old and so am I.Take care.
    LynnMagno How'd you deal with it? It's breaking my heart.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Posts
    1,921
    Whack fantasies to make work palatable?

    Maybe look for more satisfying employment with career potential. If you can't find that, then find training to make that possible. Doing that will help you focus on better things than trouble that can ruin your personal life and your job if it goes beyond fantasy.
    Last edited by jimthzz; 05-02-2019 at 03:32 PM.

  11. #10
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Posts
    507
    Be thankful he is leaving and this didn't evolve into an affair. Try to keep better check of your emotions. Maybe find a new career.


Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •