He still lives with his baby mama.....?

My co worker who works in different depertment gave me his number.I was intrested so I texted him back .However,a week into getting to know each other* he asked me if I have boyfriend and kids to which I repled no.I returned the question ..he tells me that he has 2 8 month twins and he is working towards being single.I asked him what he meant by that .He proceeded to tell me that they still live together but not really together and they are trying to find ways to spilt without having a full impact on the kids because he doesn't want any bs for them.They just grew apart but want to raise good kids

I really liked him so I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt since he was upfront with me but now I feel like I might have made the wrong decison.

We have been seeing each other for a month now and he made no reference of him moving out..not sure if has any intentions to do so. He has a 9 to 5 job so during the week we often see each other and have sex in his officer sometimes I go visit him during work hours and we have sex in public places ie in the bush. We haven't hangout outside work due to conflicting schedules and at some point I was sick which prevented us from spending time together. He wants to plan something for us soon.

I feel like I'm the other women even though he reassured me that they are not together.

.This is situation about him having infants and still living with baby mama has been bothering me...I thought I could look past it. .I'm starting to fall for him and wanting more ? I even went to visit him today and we met on his break time and we had sex in the bush

He's taking advantage of you. Sex in the bushes? Please save your self-respect for someone who can be there for you in a more compete manner.

Run, don't walk, away from this loser.

This guy is a liar. He lives with his girlfriend who is the mother of his children and they are probably sleeping together and just merely had a tiff. Have some respect for yourself. Honesty is good, but don't reward someone for being "upfront" if its something you can't and should not tolerate. He is telling you exactly who he is. Pick yourself up, kick this loser to the curb and dust yourself off and find an available man. Believe me, this is getting around work.

You are the other woman. Sorry.

He proceeded to tell me that they still live together but not really together and they are trying to find ways to spilt without having a full impact on the kids because he doesn't want any bs for them.They just grew apart but want to raise good kids

Oldest line in the book and you should know better, stop trying to say you didn't know. "Working on single" translates to - "I want to fool around on my partner, but don't have the cajones to be honest and move out and tell you, you're my side piece."

Come on people, seriously in this day and age you need to be told you're with a cheater???? Yeah, I'm being harsh, but you need to stop fooling yourself that you didn't know. Plus sex in the bushes???

Where is your self-respect. I'm actually at a loss on this one, because your level of self-deception is frightening.

I know this situation is shady but I truly believe they are over.I understand it is hard with the kids invloved ...... he always text me good morning.We always communicate throughout the day including off hours and weekends . Also I enjoy having sex in public places as it is very erotic and exciting and the thrill of not being discovered even more so. Part of me wants to end it so he can figure out his situation first..I'm going to follow my gut instinct

This is the exact situation I was in when I was 22. Dated a guy that had a kid with a girl that still lived with him. I also gave him the benefit of the doubt, and yeah, he eventually kicked her out - but she still came over a lot for the kid.

Oh, and yeah, after 3 years together, he cheated on me. Just like your dude is cheating on his kids' mom, with you.

Someone willing to cheat will keep cheating because they can always find a way to justify it.

I know this situation is shady but I truly believe they are over.I understand it is hard with the kids invloved ...... he always text me good morning.We always communicate throughout the day including off hours and weekends . Also I enjoy having sex in public places as it is very erotic and exciting and the thrill of not being discovered even more so. Part of me wants to end it so he can figure out his situation first..I'm going to follow my gut instinct

Do what you want, but don't say we didn't warn you....

Red flag 1 - coworker

Huge red flag 2- Lives with baby momma

Red flag 3 - No intention of moving out

Red flag 4- has no interest in taking you to a proper date (no wonder, he can't schedule it between his wife and kids)... sex in the buches and office.

This is a huge no no. You are the other woman and he's a cheater. Even if his story were true (which I don't believe), he's still sleazy. Cut your losses and dump him. And in the future don't have sex with someone who doesn't want to commit and treats you like a sex side piece if your intention is a relationship. Just because you fancy him it doesn't mean that you have to let him have his way with you. He's having his cake and eating it too and you're being an accumplice to that, destroying your self esteem in the mean time.

Oh, and be careful with this workplace thing... you're risking your job for this loser.

Denial can seem like a safe place, yet reality always follows. It's a matter of pay now, or pay later but you already know that.

I'm sorry to sound harsh, but having sex in the bushes will only make you look like a desperate fool. Respect yourself...

I mean we could all shame the guy all day. No doubt he'd deserve it. Being he ain't here reading this, it's precious wit wasted.

But seriously... if you're articulate enough to write this post, you're bright enough to know damn well what's going on. If this guy has you fooled, it's because you want to be. This isn't you struggling over the fact you "could" be the other woman. It's not like he's exactly romanced his way into your heart suggesting you two have sex on a bed of mulch outside the breakroom window. This is the guilt of your knowing and willing participation weighing you down.

Next time, listen to your conscience sooner than later. Just shut the door and walk away. Easy enough.

Denial can seem like a safe place, yet reality always follows. It's a matter of pay now, or pay later but you already know that.

 

I'm sorry to sound harsh, but having sex in the bushes will only make you look like a desperate fool. Respect yourself...

"Denial can seem like a safe place, yet reality always follows."

I'll add this quote to my list.

^

You Go Girl!

Yes, he is cheating on his girlfriend with you.

And I believe you know this, despite your efforts to pretend you don't know.

So, you will get sex in the bushes and in his office while SHE gets to sleep next to him every night, raise their children with him, spend holidays and weekends with him and share her life with him. Not that he's some prize, but I'm just trying to illustrate the differences between being the official girlfriend and the dirty little secret on the side.

Tell you what, tell your coworkers you two are "dating" and see how he reacts.

Yep, you're the other woman. And you've just fallen for a variant of the "my wife doesn't understand me" line. I'm sure you believe fervently that it isn't like that with you two, but from what you've written here - it is.

"Trying to find ways to split"

I know this situation is shady but I truly believe they are over.

You truly believe they're over, yet you create a thread because you're bothered about him still living with her? You're right to be bothered...

I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Why the bushes? I mean ers, poison ivy, etc.)

(I agree with the other posters on here, who aren't being overly critical, but just want the best for you. And that is not wanting you to hurt.)

I know this situation is shady but I truly believe they are over.I understand it is hard with the kids invloved ...... he always text me good morning.We always communicate throughout the day including off hours and weekends . Also I enjoy having sex in public places as it is very erotic and exciting and the thrill of not being discovered even more so. Part of me wants to end it so he can figure out his situation first..I'm going to follow my gut instinct

Then the key is to end it and then have him call you when he is moved out and truly single. remember, CHILDREN are involved. And he very well could have other women in the bushes. I suspect that you are attracted to unavailable men because you have some level of commitment issue. I hope your gut is to end it. Find a man who is freely available