He told me I'm "too good" for him?

So...

I've worked (part-time retail) with this guy for about 6 months now and we've always had this attraction for each other about a month ago he directed messaged me and told me that he thinks I'm cute and finds a connection with me when we talk but long term he things I'm too good of a girl for him and that he wouldn't deserve someone like me.

Ok....

So I told him that I thought he was cute and that I'm a relationship girl and I understand his not, etc. Well, we continued to talk at work and started going to lunch together on our breaks. We would have a lot of deep conversations about the future (kids, family, traveling) and when I told him how many kids I want he said "I can live with that."

From there we continued to talk and watched him flirt with me and than shy away when he showed too much emotion. Then one night he invited me and my friend out to the bar for a event he was hosting and we were both a little buzzed and we kept holding hands and flirting and at the end of the night he tried to kiss me but my friend pulled me away.

After that he continued to talk and flirt with me and things were going great. I got his number and we texted everyday and than he stopped. Then when I saw him at work he randomly told me (we werent talking about it) how he is afraid of commitment and I challenged him on it because he only ever had one girlfriend and he was young.

Long story short, I texted him last night and told him he fustrates me and he said why and I told him to guess and he responded with "because you want this ass"

I got mad because he knows I want more than that and I said nevermind and than he sent my name and I responded with what and he said dont get mad at me and than I said I know what you're going to say and than...nothing. He never texted me back.

So my question...what does this mean? Why is he running away from his feelings for Me? The balls in his court so should I just wait and see if he makes a move and if he doesn't I know my answer?

Please help!

He isn't running away from anything. He is actually being 100% himself and he warned you about that up front, so he doesn't even have to feel bad about jerking you around. By continuing to engage with him after he told you that he is an ahole, you basically told him that you are cool with being treated like dirt and will play his games. He is playing you like a violin. If you don't have the sense to drop him and walk away fast, you will just end up used and hurt.

What this seems to mean is: he doesn't want a relationship with you, apart from talking, flirting and a possible hookup. If you want more than that, this is not the guy for you. He's told you all this by his words and actions; if he wanted a relationship he wouldn't be saying randomly that he's afraid of commitment, and he'd have asked you out on a date. (Inviting you and your friend to an event he's hosting doesn't count.)

The ball's only in his court if you leave it there; I suspect that if you wait and see if he makes a move... you're going to have a very, very long wait...

If you're happy flirting and talking, carry on. But I think you need to accept that's all it will be.

Next time also tell your smart friend not to intervene when a guy you like tries to kiss you.

He's not afraid of commitment, you're not "too good of a girl" for him. He wants a hookup, not a relationship and is alluding to that. All the other marriage, kids, 'deep' etc. talk is to get in your pants.

Stop texting, hanging out, etc. Go to work to work and act professional toward him but pull back from the 'flirting and deep talks'. Stop any outside of work contact.

Get on dating apps to date. Work is not a singles bar.

I saw him at work he randomly told me how he is afraid of commitment and I challenged him on it. told him he fustrates me and he said why and I told him to guess and he responded with "because you want this ass"

Its' one of two things: He's pretty much telling you you are more of relationship material and he's just looking for a fun girl.

Or. . it's similar to telling a someone 'it's not you, it's me' It's a gentle way of telling you he isn't interested.

He told you that you are too good for him ?

Really ?

Since when do people deny themselves someone they are interested in when they are single and so is the other person ? This isn't the Middle East ! We have free reign to date whom we want to.

Saying " you are too good for me" is a nice way of declining a relationship with someone. You don't want to hurt their feelings, but you also don't want a relationship. It's along the same lines of " You deserve better than me". And good Lord do those words sound like a profanity when you really like someone and they utter them.

He has already stated several times he doesn't want a commitment, which is a lie, he does want commitment, just not with you, everyone wants to find someone they click with and can go places with, have sex with, have fun with, share their life with, someone they are insanely attracted to and also get along with... I call that hitting the jackpot. You are not this person for him, but, you are also not someone that he is repulsed by, so while he isn't interested in the whole 9 yards with you, he wouldn't be opposed to a good time out or a rump in bed. Because while we wait for Mr./Mrs. Right, we still want to experience life and sexual satisfaction.

Just save yourself the drama and pain of heartache and don't contact him again, if he wanted something with you, it would have already happened.

When you like someone, you snatch them up before someone else does, you don't wait around and act non committed.

It's simple, no matter how he worded it, he's told you and has show'n you plenty of times that he's not interested in having a relationship with you. Believe him.

Not to say that he wouldn't have sex or a FWB situation with you, or flirting... but he's just not that into a relationship with you.

Now it's up to you if you want to keep on entertaining this and feeding this fantasy or if you rather cut this and look for someone who's actually interested.

I've had to learn the hard way when they say you're too good for them, it's true. They know they can't treat you the way you want them to and they know they will never treat you the way you want them to, so they admit the truth then bail.

And you should listen. Getting mad does you no good, neither does the whole running from his feelings blah-blah-blah, because at the end of the day semantics aside it boils down to one thing and one thing only -

He doesn't want a relationship with you, not now, not ever. So walk away. It's done.

Believe PP. Ive been there done that. I was SO TOO GOOD for him. Time and a criminal record have proven that out!

 

From there we continued to talk and watched him flirt with me and than shy away when he showed too much emotion.

 

After that he continued to talk and flirt with me and things were going great. I got his number and we texted everyday and than he stopped. Then when I saw him at work he randomly told me (we werent talking about it) how he is afraid of commitment and I challenged him on it because he only ever had one girlfriend and he was young.

First sentence^ -- Typical behavior of someone with commitment fears.

Second para -- Sweeite, the reason he has only had one girlfriend (when he was young) is precisely because he is afraid of commitment!! He told you this.

When a man tells you he has commitment fears/issues, you believe him. You DONT continue texting, you don't continue talking, you don't tell him he frustrates you, you don't do anything EXCEPT walk away and look for a man who is NOT afraid of commitment.