She's leaving me

I'm a 43-year-old man with a 26 year old woman for a little over 2 and a half years. She's perfect. Own car, money, children, and an education. I have 5 children between the ages of 6 and 15 and she has 3 between the ages 3 and 8. She's strict on her children. They get up and clean every morning. Well since she and I have moved in together this last year they don't do anything. Now I have custody of my youngest3 which are 6, 8, and 9 years old. The mother isn't in the picture and she never will be due to her habits. My 9 year old daughter was born with drugs in her system which caused cps ti get custody and than myself. Now, my girlfriend does everything for all my children as if they are her own but she complains that my 9 year old picks. I be in too much pain and stressed about other stuff to talk to my daughter about it but now my girlfriend has found a house and will only deal with my 8 year old daughter. When I asked her why she says because she's not about to play mom to a child that disrespects heat and be girlfriend to a man that allows his children ti be disrespectful. What do i do? I don't want to lose my girlfriend but my child has had a hard life all ready.

How is this even a question? You put the welfare of your children above ANY girlfriend....

Sorry to hear this. Where are the older 2 kids? Where is the mother?

Do you have extended family nearby who could help you? Do you receive any sort of benefits for the 9 y/o to go towards home-care?

Agree a live-in gf can't be expected to be a home-care attendant or nanny or step-mother. You need to talk to doctors and therapists, social workers etc. about better programs, help and care for your 9 y/o. Also consider a full time nanny.

Sorry it didn't work out but the blended family idea seems like it was too much of a strain on everyone involved.

since she and I have moved in together this last year they don't do anything. Now I have custody of my youngest 3 which are 6, 8, and 9 years old. My 9 year old daughter was born with cps. now my girlfriend has found a house. When I asked her why she says because she's not about to play mom to a child that disrespects heat and be girlfriend to a man that allows his children ti be disrespectful.

Sorry this is going on, it sounds like a lot. But you do need to take care of your children first and foremost and be more concerned about them then this woman.

She has expressed dislike for your child, that is the end of the story.

Concentrate more on making sure your children don't get hurt by someone who does like not them. It's unfortunate that it's gone this way, but all you can do now is protect your children.

And btw, no one is perfect. If she was , she wouldn't be putting your child down. That's not acceptable.

Sorry this is going on, it sounds like a lot. But you do need to take care of your children first and foremost and be more concerned about them then this woman.

 

She has expressed dislike for your child, that is the end of the story.

 

Concentrate more on making sure your children don't get hurt by someone who does like not them. It's unfortunate that it's gone this way, but all you can do now is protect your children.

 

And btw, no one is perfect. If she was , she wouldn't be putting your child down. That's not acceptable.

She's not putting them down... I'm asking how do I get my child to respect her. This woman has went to war for my child when the teachers didn't catch that my child had a learning disorder. She takes them to doctors visits, she does everything but discipline them. She's in no way mean to her she just wants a little respect from the child she is caring for... Maybe I didn't word it right in the original post but my girlfriend stepped up to the plate when no one else would. She goes to school, work two jobs, and takes care of my children and hers. I want to be fair. Her attitude hasn't changed towards my kids just towards me. Am I being too soft? Should I enforce some respect towards her? She know she doesn't have to play mom but she know what my children went through and is trying to make up for it... Abd I am too.

The two oldest is from a previous marriage. The ones I have custody of, their mom I'd on crack and doesn't care about them at all. They get Ssi disability. She loves my kids I see that in everything she do and how she I'd with them. She takes time to talk to them and listen to them. My gf is paying for nurses and tutors jjustdo my daughter doesn't fall behind or get held back. She know more about them and their habits them i do... Do you see my dilemma?

You should be doing much more of this and making sure you get family counselling for the children rather than thrust them onto a gf and thrust a gf onto them. Especially take better care of the 9 y/o.

They may not be adjusting well to your divorce and the absence of their mother.

This is why she resents you and is leaving 6817382] takes care of my children

She's disrespected your kids, you show her the door. Your kids come first.