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I fell for my Barista


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So three weeks ago at Starbucks while ordering I was talking to this really cute barista (we both girls) and then I come in two days later and she remembers my name. So two weeks ago I come back in and she remembers me again and we start a little conversation about how I come there everyday and she says she likes it and that I'm good company and at this point I started developing feelings for her. It comes to last week where I was sitting in Starbucks for a little waiting for my friend and when my friend orders the barista I like gives my friend her drink and then smiles and winks at me. I go in Thursday and she's working the drive thru so I can't really get her attention but when I think she saw me she turned away. This comes to this week where I'm hoping to see her Tuesday and after an hour (I spend a lot of time in there when I go) she comes in. But the whole time she says nothing to me and doesn't even acknowledge me. She comes to take out the trash cans and she comes by the one I'm sitting near and i try to say hi(I'm shy and said it low) and she didn't look over or even say anything back but idk if that's because she didn't hear me or not. So after a couple of hours of being ignored and me ignoring her I guess I just pack up my stuff and leave. I come in yesterday and basically we both won't look at eachother. I'm really confused because she goes from talking to me to saying nothing. She's basically the first girl I've ever had a crush on so that's why it's bothering me so much. I have no idea what to do it's so weird going in there now because I feel like I'm stalking her even though I've always gone there even before I've seen her and it seems like the other baristas are watching and judging me. I was thinking about writing my number on a piece of paper and putting a note like "let's talk" and asking one of her co workers to give it to her but that seems stupid and if she never calls me I'll be to embarrassed to ever go to that Starbucks again. I'm not even sure if she's gay or bisexual or whatever I just wanted to see why she stopped talking to me. Any suggestions would help a lot.

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Might not be the answer you are looking for, but you have to consider that she might only so nice because it is her job. When I worked as a waitress or in bars, I got a lot of advances from people. Of course there will be nice customers you enjoy talking to, but sometimes they interpret your friendliness (which is also part of your job) as something more. When that happened to me, I did try to cut it down a bit, hoping they would understand.

But that doesn't mean there's no chance. If you're shy, you can try to look her up on social media and maybe get an impression if she could be gay, and if it looks good, just talk to her in person (no notes). Or if you talk to her next time (maybe about movies or whatever), you can just ask if she wants to join you and hopefully know more then Good luck!

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Agree don't leave a note it's a bit too invasive/awkward at her workplace. It's ok to have a crush but you don't know if she's being friendly for customers or if she's gay or if she's in a relationship.

I'm not even sure if she's gay or bisexual or whatever
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  • 3 months later...

Its her job.

Just because someone is nice to you in a service job like a library or something doesnt mean they have a crush on you.

It also doesnt mean you cant talk a little more and then ask them to go do something after they work. There is nothing at all wrong with asking something like that.

Probably dont ask her to a coffee shop though! She already spends too much time in coffee shops.

Maybe a walk in the park or just hang out.

I vote just up and bluntly asking her if she'de like to go hang out sometime.

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