My fiancée daughter lie about the smallest thing.

I been with this guys for 3 years. When we first started dating i did not think that we will last soo long. So her daughter lying did not bother me as much. But now that we live together it'S starting to bother me. She lies about the small things. She will eat your food and say she didn't know that was yours. Wear your clothes and say I thought that was mine. She will drop something on the floor and when you confront her about it, she lies. Btw she's 14 years old. It's me, her and her dad at the house. She will remove something and lie about it. She will go into the shower, turn the water and not shower at all. Come out of the shower with her hair and skin dry. You won't find any wet towels. She lies about showering and her dad just let it go. The craziest part is after you confront her about something she did or lie about, she started crying. She lies a lot, she won't clean after herself, she's very messy. All of those things are starting to bother to the point where me and her dad are arguing. Not to mention her dad is the kind of parents that u can't make any comments about his parenting. So if u were in my shoes what would u do ?

Unfortunately ultimately the only thing you have control over is to not accept it and move out, or accept it and continue to live in the situation that you are in. You are not her mother and therefore not responsible for her. This behavior is acceptable as far as your bf is concerned so that is pretty much it. You can only make decisions over things you have control over. You do have control over to whine complain and nag about it, if you want to do that. We think in our own mind that we can influence and control behavior in other people and this is really not true. Some people have some success controlling others through physical or emotional abuse but I wouldn't advise it. Personally I would move out of a living situation that I found unacceptable. I wouldn't threaten to do it, I would just do it.

Thank you for your advice and you are so right.

Unfortunately it's their house and his daughter and she's acting like a teenager. You either need to move out or develop some compassion and tolerance for teenage behaviors. It's none of your business what she does in her own house in her father's bathroom.

What are you talking about 'stealing food? Seriously? A child can't eat what you consider "your food" yet you all live in the same household?

Sorry to say but you sound overbearing and a tad abusive. Perhaps the girl can live with the mom to get away from you? Why are you policing her like she's in a prison?

we live together it'S starting to bother me. she's 14 years old. It's me, her and her dad at the house. She will eat your food and say she didn't know that was yours. She lies about showering and her dad just let it go.

What are you talking about 'stealing food? Seriously? A child can't eat what you consider "your food" yet you all live in the same household?

Are you saying you've never bought something special for yourself, had someone else in your household eat it, and found it incredibly frustrating? Of course it's not "stealing" like she's taking money out of your purse or something, but at 14, she clearly knows what are the grab-able "staples" in the house and what are the special things that she should ask about before taking.

Sorry to say but you sound overbearing and a tad abusive. Perhaps the girl can live with the mom to get away from you? Why are you policing her like she's in a prison?

Abusive? How does the OP sound abusive? She sounds like she's having a hard time dealing with 14 year old girl behavior when there's nothing constructive she can do about it. Which does sound frustrating.

Truth is, most teens kind of suck all through 14 - 15. This girl doesn't sound any worse than the norm. Many of them come out as fine people on the other side, (some take longer than others) and some don't. If you don't have a gift for dealing with teens and you don't have a pre-existing love for the person, it's hard to take. Ultimately, though, if you've talked to her dad and he is fine with her behavior, your choice boils down to whether or not this is what you want to deal with for (at least) the next several years or not. If it's too much, then leave.

But if you stay, lay off this kid. You're just going to create more problems and resentment if you try to police her behavior. It sounds like her dad has made it clear that you are not on the parenting team, so don't try to parent. Label your foods in the fridge and cupboards if you don't want her eating them. If she continues to take your belongings (like wearing your clothes) without permission, that is a respect issue that you should take up with the dad. If he's okay with her treating you badly, that tells you what you need to know about the relationship. But try as much as possible not to pick fights with her.