How can I tell him I am not interested?

Hello, I am new to this site so please bear with me. Thank you! Okay... I don't know how to start. I got to know this online guy (I'm 25 and he is 26) since this January, and I thought that we would just be friends. Two or three weeks later, he told me he liked me. It was kind of random because he barely knew me. Well, to me, it takes a long time to know someone well and time to develop as friends first. I know some people considered people they just met as their friends already. For me, I wouldn't consider them as my friends immediately.

Anyway, we usually talked like 2-3 times a week? In February, I started to become irritated with him...everything he said. I was never interested in him in the first place. We talked less and less because he had been very busy with work and his life so I was fine with it. I've been busy with my life as well, and I've been meeting some new people since April. We didn't talk for 2-3 weeks? Last week, I ignored his texts. He texted me today, and I replied to his. He said he was sorry he did not text me for a while, so I told him I was fine and I didn't text either. I don't think he got it.

If you ask me why I became "friend" with him, I guess it was because I had been picky with guys. Perhaps, it may be a part of a reason why I never had a boyfriend (I'd love to have one). This time, I decided to give him a chance. In end, I am still not interested in him. How can I tell him I am not interested without hurting his feelings? The problem is... I am too polite to tell him that I do not like him since I know he had been liking me.. He is also depressed. If I told him directly that I do not have feelings for him, I hope his depression wouldn't get worse. I know I am too nice. I just want him to stop flirting with me or send me hugs or say sweet dreams. I don't want his affection. I don't know why, but I feel disgusted. I just want him to treat me like friends. No flirting. By the way, we are not dating. I told him we are not dating. He knew we are not, but he still likes flirting with me or being affectionate with me.

You just tell him kindly that you're not interested and that you'd like the affectionate messages to stop. That's it. It's not a big deal, it's not like you've been dating him in person for a long time or something. He probably won't take it so bad as you think, it was just online and talking a few times a week.

And then you start dating people more locally or if you meet them online, you meet them in person soon after you start talking online so that you can decide if there's potencial in there or not.

You just tell him kindly that you're not interested and that you'd like the affectionate messages to stop. That's it. It's not a big deal, it's not like you've been dating him in person for a long time or something. He probably won't take it so bad as you think, it was just online and talking a few times a week.

I agree with the above.

You say: "We talked less and less because he had been very busy with work and his life so I was fine with it. I've been busy with my life as well, and I've been meeting some new people since April. We didn't talk for 2-3 weeks? Last week, I ignored his texts. He texted me today, and I replied to his. He said he was sorry he did not text me for a while, so I told him I was fine and I didn't text either. I don't think he got it."

This doesn't sound like excessive interest at all (imo). If he sends a flirty text, do you reply in the same way? This will only lead him on and encourage him. That said, if you don't, then I don't see what the issue is as it doesn't look like you two communicate very much anyway.

If it still bothers you, then either tell him straight up, as suggested by Annia above, or do the "slow fade". Simply stop replying - it is after all only online, so that should be easy enough to do.

Ok was this a dating site? Was this a pen-pal situation? Or long distance? Is there a reason why meeting or dating never happened?

He doesn't sound too interested in you either if he only texts sporadically and never wanted to meet or date. Tell him you don't want to text anymore. That's it. Don't string people along.

Texting and friending is not dating. In fact it shows a complete lack of interest if you never meet or date. Hopefully you are trying to meet guys on dating apps and in person as soon as exchanging some messages.

I got to know this online guy. I thought that we would just be friends. In February, I started to become irritated with him...everything he said. If you ask me why I became "friend" with him, I guess it was because I had been picky with guys. Perhaps, it may be a part of a reason why I never had a boyfriend

I admit that I did reply in the same way, but I was not as flirty as he is. Yesterday, I replied to his texts and I didn't flirt or send hug back at all. When I ignored his texts last week, he asked me if I am okay, and then I sent him a quickly reply: "I've been busy." Perhaps, I'd have to tell him straight up if "slow fade" didn't work. Thank you!

@Wiseman2 - Actually, I "met" him through Reddit and we just became online friends, and then he told me he was into me. I was one who made meeting or dating never happened because he lives out of state, so I told him he is too far for me and I don't feel a "spark" with him. Last March, he suggested if we could meet up, so I declined. I can tell that we are not compatible.

Actually, I am currently not on any dating app, or I am not actively trying to meet guys in person. In April, I attended few events to meet new people and hoped that I'd meet an interesting guy or if I made new friends, I may meet a nice guy through them. It is tough for an introvert like me lol. I am not a fan of awkward, small talks.

As Annia said, just tell him you are not interested. To add to that, you do not have to explain why. You do not give him hope. You don't say "if we lived closer" or "maybe we can meet up one day" That will lead to false hope and the messages will continue. Just say you are not interested. And if he still wont stop, then tell him the truth. Don't lie or say something so you don't hurt him. The truth will hurt, but its the best way to go.