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Does anyone wish harm their ex..


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Hello,

 

I am a month and a half out of a 3 year relationship, we were supposed to get married in June but to make a long story short she showed me her true colors. I'll spare everybody the details, but I have a lot of anger and resentment towards her. The way she treated during the relationship and how she is making me out to be afterwards is disgusting. I really wish she would die a slow, agonizing, and painful death.

 

I know this is probably not normal, but it is what it is... just wanted to vent

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my bestie plotted his ex wife's death and how to get away with it.

 

i think the anger is normal.

 

just don't dwell on it or act on it.

 

i believe that what you put out, comes back to you. i don't want someone thinking evil thoughts about me so i try not to think evil thoughts about them......

 

that being said, i'm not perfect. i wished my ex's new fling would die in a car crash for about 10 minutes one day. i realize that is awful....but i forgive myself. it was my anger and jealousy. i let it go.

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It's ok to feel anger and it's part of the process. Maybe later you can redirect your anger towards thriving in your life and etc as a fuel, but for now it's perfectly normal to be angry.

 

I remember hating on the woman an ex of my started dating days after breaking up with me by text. I hated her, I hated them both and I wished that their relationship would fall apart. It didn't... they're still married, have a kid and seem happy. But I'm over it and now I don't feel anything about it and wish them well. In time comes forgiveness and the acceptance that the past couldn't have been any other way and that people make their choices and it's ok, so there's no other way than moving on, forgive ourselves and forgive others. It takes time and work, but it's possible.

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I know the feeling.. Wish his life would crash and burn but I don't think it will any time soon. Sure he just drove past me on my way home from work and it's made me abit upset after I actually had a more positive day. Feel like well he obviously doesn't care that Iv gone from his life and that's kind of reopened my wound.

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I understand my first ex was a total jerk! I had so much anger and hate!!! Then one day it hit me, how am I helping myself? So I redirected all that rage inside of me towards improving my own issues. Now I'm at peace and I actually wish him well.

 

It will take time but just feel bad for her that she must be such an unhappy person that she has to act the way she does. I think misery loves company and that's what she has left.

 

Lisa

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I didn't wish him physical harm but I did wish him emotional pain and comeuppance.

 

When he phoned me to tell me that his 'true love' relationship had broken up, I did not hide my glee. He said ' you're probably happy about this' and I said 'yes I am'.

 

Not my finest hour but well...it was honest. I genuinely felt he did not deserve to have found love and happiness while bashing me round in process.

 

All's good now though, we get on great!

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Channel all that negativity and hate into something productive and self improving. When I'm emotionally exhausted like that and feel full of anger like I will explode I like to jog until exhaustion. Boxing is also another favored output for me. Afterwards I feel so much better. Just a suggestion from someone who used to have anger problems.

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Channel all that negativity and hate into something productive and self improving. When I'm emotionally exhausted like that and feel full of anger like I will explode I like to jog until exhaustion. Boxing is also another favored output for me. Afterwards I feel so much better. Just a suggestion from someone who used to have anger problems.

 

Good ideas. I'm gonna steal these

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I feel the same way right now. She kept coming into my life and leaving soon as she knew she had me at her feet and on my knees... I'm not wishing physical pain or bad energy but I feel the same I want to regret the past 4 years and I'm starting to resent a lot of the relationship. I wish she really knew how bad it felt to kept being broken up with time and time again. I guess you could say I wish that she will one day learn her lesson as I have paid my dues.

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My advice? Go to a gym that has punching bags or even a dojo with those life-size dummies and kick and punch the living snot out of those until you just don't care anymore. Journal about it and spew it, until it bores you to tears to even think about it. Run until you hit that high and keep going and do it again the next night and the next.

 

Anger following the end of a relationship is a normal healthy thing if you don't stay stuck there, plus you will look amazing from all the workouts. So go vent, get it out of your system in healthy ways and then move on to the next stages of healing. Anger is a part of it.

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Early days it's only 6 weeks! Clearly you are in the anger stage... I think we've all been there. Just please don't act on it. Eventually you will come to peace with it all & accept what has happened.

 

You never know one day down the track you might be relieved this happened & it could be a blessing in disguise 😊

 

Don't jeopardise your chances for the future now by doing something stupid you will regret.

 

I remember being cut up when my first girlfriend broke up with me years ago. So glad it happened now 😊

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My reply probably will not be very popular, but when I read words like "I really wish she would die a slow, agonizing, and painful death." I don't think that is normal at all (but that's just me). I absolutely agree that to be angry, and feel some anger, is normal, and human, but words like "I really wish she would die a slow, agonizing, and painful death." honestly scare me to death. I cannot for the life of me imagine anyone having such anger to wish someone to die slowly and painfully - to me it's enough to warrant seeking help, but again, that's just me. ~expecting to be flamed~

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My reply probably will not be very popular, but when I read words like "I really wish she would die a slow, agonizing, and painful death." I don't think that is normal at all (but that's just me). I absolutely agree that to be angry, and feel some anger, is normal, and human, but words like "I really wish she would die a slow, agonizing, and painful death." honestly scare me to death. I cannot for the life of me imagine anyone having such anger to wish someone to die slowly and painfully - to me it's enough to warrant seeking help, but again, that's just me. ~expecting to be flamed~

 

It scared me a little as well. You are not alone. I think maybe you need to go talk to someone if you hate her that much, you are giving her way too much power over your emotions. Hate is just as strong as love.

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My reply probably will not be very popular, but when I read words like "I really wish she would die a slow, agonizing, and painful death." I don't think that is normal at all (but that's just me). I absolutely agree that to be angry, and feel some anger, is normal, and human, but words like "I really wish she would die a slow, agonizing, and painful death." honestly scare me to death. I cannot for the life of me imagine anyone having such anger to wish someone to die slowly and painfully - to me it's enough to warrant seeking help, but again, that's just me. ~expecting to be flamed~

 

I think you have a point. Anger is healthy and normal in breakups, but maybe not to that extent. I've had feelings of anger in the past and wishing them bad but I never wished them physical harm. It was more like wishing their new relationship didn't work or that they'd suffer emotionally like I was suffering. But yes, I think that I never wished "a slow, agonizing and painful death" to anyone lol

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