she wants me back

been no contact for 9 days. thought everything was blocked. got a email from a new account. she wants me back. advice .

been no contact for 9 days. thought everything was blocked. got a email from a new account. she wants me back. advice .

Ask yourself if this is what you want and deserve to be treated like.

Agree. What do you want?

Yes I forgot she is addicted to pain killers.. not sure if she stole any from the nursing home though. I know she took residents property/.

I know. I know she treat me terrible. I made her wait 7 years and still never moved in with her. so I did the same to her I suppose. although i never cheated. and she still claims she has not. so do I keep missing her like i have for the past 6 weeks or give it another go for real this time. like live with her. its a massive decision

I know I know I know

all I know is I am unhappy as I am .. I will probably be unhappy with what ever I choose. I can not really win either way.

all I know is I am unhappy as I am .. I will probably be unhappy with what ever I choose. I can not really win either way.

Yes, you can. Love yourself first. Once you do that, you will know what you can and can't do.

What about choice 3. someone else who doesn't steal and isn't addicted to drugs?

all I know is I am unhappy as I am .. I will probably be unhappy with what ever I choose. I can not really win either way.

I don't remember exactly the details from your history, but if I recall correctly she didn't seem like a good respectful person towards you and even seemed emotionally unhealthy. Are you sure she really wants to get back and have a healthy relationship or is just feeling needy and needing validation or drama?

It's not enough for one person to want to get back to the relationship, there needs to be willingness to commit to work on the relationship and change bad behaviours. If it's a "messed up" person I don't think she had time to work on herself and become a better person more suitable for a good relationship with you.

Decide what you feel it's best for you and always keep your boundaries no matter what. Make the choice that you think will lead you to be the best version of yourself and don't make that choice out of neediness or despair.

I know. I know she treat me terrible. I made her wait 7 years and still never moved in with her. so I did the same to her I suppose. although i never cheated. and she still claims she has not. so do I keep missing her like i have for the past 6 weeks or give it another go for real this time. like live with her. its a massive decision

Not moving in is not the same as cheating, doing drugs or being abusive. I prefer to deal with a commitmentphobe if that's the case than with an abusive person or a liar.

It's normal to miss her, she was a big chunk of your life... 7 years is a lot of time and many people who live in tumultuous relationships get this sort of drama withdrawal when they leave the relationship, because believe it or not drama can also be addicting. I think that's because drama keeps us on our toes always focusing on either fixing or surviving the drama and that way our mind can't be silent long enough to deal with itself and try to fix what's really damaged in ourselves. Dealing with ourselves and our issues can also be very painful, and many of us prefer the pain of the known drama than the pain and fear of the unknown that is to fix ourselves and rebuild a new and better life.

I can speak from my experience. My ex first left me few months before our final breakup,and we were apart for just a week and a half. When we reconciled,things were ok at first but some time into it our insecutities kicked in. First, I couldnt trust her any more,and second she had all the power over me knowing that I'll chase after her no matter what.

I wouldnt recommend reconciliation after so little time has passed. It will be hard.

I have took a pounding here.. I know you all mean the best. I will give this some serious thought,.

Yes... take your time to think. Don't feel like you're in a rush to decide anything. Best of luck.

What can I say? Like a moth to a flame, right?

I have took a pounding here.. I know you all mean the best. I will give this some serious thought,.

been no contact for 9 days. thought everything was blocked. got a email from a new account. she wants me back. advice .

Go with your heart.

When you repeat chapters, the ending never changes.

When you repeat chapters, the ending never changes.

I agree. But sometimes you need to burn yourself severely before you realize not to touch the stove. No matter what anyone else tells you, some people need to learn this lesson the hard way. It's the only way it will stick for good.

I agree. But sometimes you need to burn yourself severely before you realize not to touch the stove. No matter what anyone else tells you, some people need to learn this lesson the hard way. It's the only way it will stick for good.

I don,t know any of you people but I trust you more than I trust her. I had for a few hours last night the idea of trying again. I know for a fact all she is doing is using me as she has been dumped now by this other fella. I still have my self respect , I am not going to go down that road again I have been there before and it always ended in pain sooner or later. Obviously I had a moment of madness last night and considered it. then I asked on here for advice. I am taking this advice. thank you everyone. she will have to find a new fool to play these games with. I am sure it wont take her too long to do.

I don,t know any of you people but I trust you more than I trust her. I had for a few hours last night the idea of trying again. I know for a fact all she is doing is using me as she has been dumped now by this other fella. I still have my self respect , I am not going to go down that road again I have been there before and it always ended in pain sooner or later. Obviously I had a moment of madness last night and considered it. then I asked on here for advice. I am taking this advice. thank you everyone. she will have to find a new fool to play these games with. I am sure it wont take her too long to do.

You considered it because you still have feelings for her. There's no shame in that.

But I think you deserve better than her.

If I can give you some advice, don't move in with her. But get a new place where the two of you like. I had an experience living with a woman for several years moving into her apartment. Even though i paid half the rent and most of the remaining bills and expenses, she always acted like it was ultimately still her place because all her stuff was there. I will never again move into another woman's residence as long as I live.

Assuming both of you are ready to reconcile, buy a house together or rent a new place big enough for the two of you and your combined stuff. Don't move in to her place!

Johny I am not going to go back to her. I have been thinking a lot since she got in touch. I know for a fact she has told me lie,s and still lie,s , If she showed some respect and admitted what she did ( it was quite plain to see, she had in a relationship post put up on her face book, she told me not to contact her again, she even said I knew something like this could happen (her meeting someone else she meant ) now its as though she expects me to think I just dreamt all this) . This is my thoughts now, If as I strongly suspect she has borderline personality disorder or something very similar she is not going to take rejection very well. I have handled all this with dignity, I have never even called her one single name through out. or pestered her , I am thinking if this other bloke has used her and went back to his original partner who he has also had a stack of kids too she will have been very very bitter about that, feeling used and tricked, now she has me back in her sights and I too am about to reject her. (she absolute deserves it by the way) so I am thinking she will go totally off the rails, these borderline people do not like rejection or feeling abandoned, i seriously think if as it is going to happen she experiences this twice within 6 or 7 weeks I think she might totally and utterly flip her lid. she could even come looking for me , she might do something stupid to herself, i don,t know because she is so unpredictable. All I know is she brought all this on herself and as they say she made her bed and she will have to lie in it .. literally ..

When you repeat chapters, the ending never changes.

This is so true.

By what you tell she seems like a true nutcase maybe with some narcissistic tendencies. I think there's nothing you can do about it. Maybe one day she can work on herself with therapy and all that and become a better and more balanced person, but I think she's not ready yet and you'd be wasting your time waiting for that. You waited 7 years her destructive ways didn't go away.

And yes, I think you can do better than this mess. Also, don't feel bad for missing her and having feelings for her, it's totally normal. It's a great thing that you're not letting those feelings mess with your decisions. You've came a long away and the way now is always up.

Buying a place with her would be the worst possible decision ever.

I'm glad you aren't going to fall for her manipulation again.

We are human and make mistakes and are weak at times.

Honor yourself in that clarity of what is best for you.

Best of luck