Technical Problem or ???

I was able to move on with my life and find someone new who helped me move on, BUT

I met a guy online three weeks ago and we had been talking every day, at least twice a day or more. we were in the middle of a normal conversation on google hangouts, but then it said "Message not delivered". It has not stopped saying that. we last spoke 1 day ago.

Here's the conversation we last had:

HIM: *holds you tightly, warmly* Good night beautiful

ME: good morning! ☺how are you? how did you sleep? I had a horrific nightmare dream before I woke up for my lesson at 7am

HIM: I sleep like a baby when the Rockets win. Tell me about this nightmare!

ME: (told him about the nightmare)Yeah. Pretty horrible. woke up wanting you next to me

HIM: I wish we could project our dreams via hologram. Yours would be awesome to see

ME: -frowns- hopefully, you're not referring to the one I just had as being awesome to see

I wanted him to be comforting and his response seemed odd. I did jump to conclusions or misunderstood, but I don't see how that equals blocking me.

We grew VERY, VERY close over three weeks, so I find it extremely hard to believe he blocked me unless it was for a good reason or a tech prob.

We only contacted through gmail.I have his reg email and I think I found his FB.

This is my proposed draft to him:

I'm sorry for freaking out the past 24 hours and trying everything I can to contact you. I've just been really worried, but no matter what's going on right now, I'll wait for you (patiently now) however long it takes. As you once told me, you're worth the wait

I'll still be waiting patiently at the end for whatever it is to pass and sort itself out. You take your time and come back to me whenever you're ready. And I'll be so incredibly happy (and grateful) to hear from you again. It won't matter to me whether it's been days, a week, or months, I'll just be glad to hear from you. I'm here for you to support you. The last thing I want to do is anger you or annoy you or scare you... I don't think that's happened, though, but... time will tell. I'm going to continue trusting my heart that you'll come back to me in a day, maybe a few more, maybe longer, but I (fervently, ardently hope) you will. somehow, someway... I know that you cared about me a lot. I just know it deep down...

And I'm sorry for what I said... I shouldn't have assumed you meant something so awful. I know you care about me and wouldn't want me in distress. You've always expressed wanting to protect me...I just wanted you to say that you were sorry I had such a bad dream, is all. I should have been more direct, But I can't fathom that's why you haven't messaged me.

If for some reason, you never, ever contact me again - for any reason, technical or non-technical, I was blessed to have you in my life, even if it was only for a few weeks. You made me so immensely happy and continue to through the memories of our chats. I'll be heartbroken, horribly crushed if that happiness can't continue, but I'll be FOREVER thankful that I knew someone who was practically a waking dream for me...and I think you felt the same way (You once told me, how is it possible something so beautiful can exist?)

I care about you deeply and will miss taking to you...a lot....and I'll keep emailing you, but there will be NO pressure to respond until you can/want to.

I hope you're okay and I'll be thinking of you.

I already sent this.

Thoughts?

I'm going to post ALL OUR CONVOS:

DAY 1 (APRIL 3)

me: I don't drink either and my mom and I share a car, so I'm in a similar boat as you. I also don't like going to clubs or bars, so that's the 2nd thing we have in common.

I'm 23 and hope to become a nurse, but right now, I'm in school to be a Telemetry Technician.

My favorite childhood memory is of going to the Houston Museum of Natural Science with my mom and my brother to see the CSI exhibit. COOLEST. THING. EVER. In addition to medicine, Criminal Justice has been my second passion, so I'm very addicted to ID channel and Forensic Files

Message me back if you're interested in me .

-Mysterypoet (for now)

HIM (APRIL 3):

I'm glad you're in the same boat as me on a lot of things. I really think your aspirations to become a nurse is super admirable and very needed in the world. They are real life superheroes.

I LOVED watching Forensic Files! I'm serious, I used to be addicted. I think it's safe to say you've seen Dexter too, right?

While you may be more passionate about the forensics part of criminal justice, I have always been passionate about the courtroom aspect of it. I absolutely love courtroom drama movies. From The Firm to A Few Good Men, even The Excorcism of Emily Rose.

But when it comes to forensics, Dexter takes the cake for me. And Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock too.

Your childhood memory is awesome. I love hearing about moments people remember from when they a little more innocent. It's really quite beautiful.

I actually live right down the block from the Museum of Fine Arts on Montrose. I don't go often, though.

Yes, Weekend at Bernie's rocks hard. I'm glad you even knew what that was! Most folks have no idea.

I guess I should tell you at least a little about me, since you were kind enough to do the same.

This is me in a nutshell: Help! I'm stuck in this nutshell! Won't someone please help me get out of this nutshell!

But seriously, this is me in a nutshell:

I graduated in 2009 with a Film and Television Production Bachelor of Science. Currently, I work for Channel 8 station. I'm Big Bird. Okay I'm not Big Bird. I'm a Data Processor. Hoping to move my way up to working with the cameras and becoming a producer one day. But right now, I have to work my behind off to get there.

It's a sweet gig. Great state benefits.

Writing is my passion. On my spare time I write sci-fi and comedy screenplays and short stories. I'm building a writing portfolio to shop around Los Angeles someday. I know I know. It's a silly pipe dream. But I don't want to look back and say I never tried, ya know?

I'm an only child. And it has always been me and my mom only. That would explain why I'm very socially withdrawn and don't like bars or clubs, I guess.

I love playing basketball. I even write articles for.... It's an unpaid gig but will look great in my writing portfolio.

Well, that's it. Nothing too exciting. I wish I could tell you I'm an astronaut that trains monkeys to sing on the side and is part of a traveling circus in France. But....that wouldn't be true. Or would it?

No. It wouldn't be true.

Any other questions, feel free to ask. I'm happy to answer honestly.

I know that many people say this means that I was blocked but I don't understand why. If it's true, I need help getting over the EXTREME pain rn.

One person I spoke to said he sounded full of BS, but I thought that was rude and presumptive. I would be GLAD to paste all of our convos on here if necessary!!

Your draft message is super long - that strikes me as overly needy. Also, it's inappropriate to talk about waking up next to him when you haven't met yet.

This whole thing honestly kinda creeped me out.

I wouldn't have sent that message, but you already did, so... what is your question exactly?

You shouldn't be in extreme pain. That points to personal problems.

Your draft message is super long - that strikes me as overly needy. Also, it's inappropriate to talk about waking up next to him when you haven't met yet.

 

This whole thing honestly kinda creeped me out.

 

I wouldn't have sent that message, but you already did, so... what is your question exactly?

 

You shouldn't be in extreme pain. That points to personal problems.

I totally agree with all of the above. All of this reaction after only talking to a guy online for three weeks? Yikes. Way way waaay too much, way too soon. I think any guy receiving a letter like that will head to the hills so fast and never turn back.

HE PUT THIS:

But I AM ready to commit to one girl who I can share things with. The physical stuff is just icing on the cake. A friend to watch stuff with on Saturday nights while everyone is out clubbing and drinking. They can have their alcohol. I'll take pizza and a root beer any day. Lost in our little world that only we understand. A friend with not just physical, but emotional benefits; that is, someone we can share our secrets to and talk to, without the pressure of an every day relationship for now. A FWIDBWB? A Friend Who I Date But With Benefits? Well, we both understand the spirit of what we're talking about. Two people, committed only to each other, without the pressures of an everyday domestic relationship, but with all the emotional support and some of the physical pleasures of an everyday domestic relationship. And let the chips fall where they may in regards to a future.

I just got a message from you. No, you could never scare me away. Unless you have kids already. Or you voted for Hillary. But other than that, nope!

We're looking for the same thing. I respect your boundaries because I have the same ones. This is good.

You really need to evaluate yourself and how you're approaching this. You're treating it like it's a serious relationship, and it's not. You went in to a tizzy. This is not healthy. It is not normal. I'm glad you got the outcome you wanted, but this behavior will not allow a healthy relationship to last and flourish.

Also HE is the one who put THIS:

wraps arm around you*10:36 PM

*pulls you ever so close*

*inhales the aroma of your hair*

He was super affectionate first AND BACK?

why didn't he stop it sooner if it was too much for him?

why did he put this after knowing me only 2 weeks: I am a little hungry though

*play bites your neck*

Delish! Give me more

*play bites until you can't stop laughing from the ticklish feel*

Hun, I'm trying to help. It doesn't matter why HE did it - it matters why YOU are ok with it.

Man. It makes my stomach turn. It makes so many red flag signals go off in my head.

I'm just trying to say some good, solid introspection may do you some good.

You really need to evaluate yourself and how you're approaching this. You're treating it like it's a serious relationship, and it's not. You went in to a tizzy. This is not healthy. It is not normal. I'm glad you got the outcome you wanted, but this behavior will not allow a healthy relationship to last and flourish.

Again, totally agree.

I don't get it...

I thought of him as extremely special. I thought I had finally found someone better than my ex, someone I had more in common with

And you're telling me I RUINED my chance with him??

why did he put this after knowing me only 2 weeks:

Because he's enjoying flirting. He's enjoying the fact that you played along. He loves the ego boost. He loved the attention. Guaranteed, he's probably doing the exact same thing with several other gullible women who fall for his attention.

I don't get it...

I thought of him as extremely special. I thought I had finally found someone better than my ex, someone I had more in common with

And you're telling me I RUINED my chance with him??

Nope. I'm saying right now it could be fine, but the way you're both approaching this is way to hard, way too soon. This is not how healthy relationships start.

then why is it he blocked me on gmail? or POSSIBLY DID?

I don't get it...

I thought of him as extremely special. I thought I had finally found someone better than my ex, someone I had more in common with

And you're telling me I RUINED my chance with him??

OP, with all due respect, I find it very difficult to believe you can fall this hard for someone you really don't even know at all. Three weeks. Never met in real life. And you honestly believe he is "extremely special"? Seriously? You know nothing about this guy! Other than his flirty words, you know nothing.

May I ask, how old are you? (You sound very young).

then why is it he blocked me on gmail? or POSSIBLY DID?

Who knows. He could be married.

Excuse me?!?!

We talked about A LOT MORE than sex or flirting...

And I'm 23...

He's 27. we had A LOT in common, esp as far as values!! that's why my attraction was so intense...

I'd agree that with, this is really creepy.

I just read all of posts above, his language via messaging seems as though he has some sort of fantasy of 'seducing women online' with his text chat and has zero intention of ever meeting you.

As someone else said, I'm also 99% sure he's doing this with other girls he hasn't met, like yourself.

Don't know how you can attach yourself to someone you've never met after 3 weeks.

Perhaps he's a lonely guy who's kicks are to create these virtual 'relationships' via messaging.

I can't believe I just read through this thread! What is going on? This is too creepy for me! Hence, your long letter? Why are you freaking out from not getting a response within a few days? Why are you so attached to a person you only met 3 weeks?

You haven't met this person yet? I question why you are in so much pain? I mean this in the nicest way possible, you need to seek professional help.

Have you met in person? Is this long distance? Lots of red flags such as no real contact info and not asking to meet. He may be catfishing or married. Maybe his wife gf found it and he had to shut down the app?

Messaging on google hangout is not dating no less a relationship. It's clear he didn't o provide alternatives to contact such as a phone number for a reason. You can send this message but you are assuming it's a "breakup"?

we were in the middle of a normal conversation on google hangouts, but then it said "Message not delivered".

We grew VERY, VERY close over three weeks

First, I'd like to thank everyone for posting.

After a good night's sleep, I could kind of see how in my head, I was living a fantasy, too, and blowing things way, way, way out of proportion. I can detect the source of my issues (or several sources), but I'm not sure exactly how it all ties in.

I can see now that in my head, I was moving way too fast. Having this interaction online instead of real life makes it feel easier to fall into that trap. After examining my life and my other social interactions, I am an overly-needy person. I think that the guy I met probably was, too, which is why he probably was messaging more than one girl at a time. I think that his intent might not have been as malicious as you're thinking, but whatever the reason, I fell way too easily into the same pattern.

I can try to explain my reasoning, but I know it won't really help...

1. Why was I so attached? That's the big question everyone wants the answer to. I have several reasons behind this answer, but none of them lead to good conclusions.

A. My job does not allow for much social interaction. I am self-employed and my only interactions with other people are my clients. And that's it. All of my other interactions are from online. So, essentially, I have no "real" friends.

B. We had a lot in common. Mustlovedogs was right, though. I got WAY too excited that I had met someone that had so much oddly in common with me. I know that's not supposed to be everything, but I mean - when you meet a friend that has a lot in common with you, you wouldn't want to lose them! You would want to hang out with them, laugh with them, have fun with them, etc... We DID have NEUTRAL, FRIENDLY conversations for the first week, week and a half. Internally, I took that, wonderful, positive feeling, took a bike tire pump, and pumped it up for 3 weeks... And why did I do that? I thought it meant something special that I hadn't met anyone else that had as much in common as we did... But of course, that can be countered with "That's because you just hadn't met them yet!!! There are probably THOUSANDS of guys who will have the EXACT same things in common, but will be normal and sane"..... ME: Oh yeah? Well where are they? Why did I meet him?

C. Now that I think about it, I've never, ever, EVER had a "normal" relationship. There was something wrong with every single one of my boyfriends emotionally. The interactions I have online NOW are not healthy...at all... So naturally, it was going to transfer over to him.

D. I've done it before.... As I mentioned, all of my interactions are online, so that's all I have to go on... For the past 6, 7 months, all of my relationships have been like said above. But these guys must have something wrong with them, too, because I haven't had this problem before.... (and other gold mine for a psychologist, right?)

2. Why was I freaking out?

A. Because I care? I'm sorry, and I don't want to seem arrogant, but I try to be a compassionate person. I thought I was being compassionate and nice by worrying about someone. So what if you had only known someone for 3 weeks. Really - if you started a NEW job and met someone brand NEW and you talked EVERY DAY and then all of a sudden, it seemed like you were BLOCKED, wouldn't your mind start going through a process of elimination? 1. Maybe it's a mistake? (2 hours later) 2. Maybe it's a technical problems (4 hours later) 3. Maybe he's mad at me? Maybe I did something? 4. Wow, wouldn't it be TRAGIC if I never heard from this person again and never knew why???

B. Because I have a great fear of loss. This is probably where a psychologist (especially Freudian) would have a FIELD DAY. Whenever I fear that I'm about to lose someone or someone is moving away in any way, shape, or form, I start clawing. Not right away. It starts off as gently tugging. Then it becomes a grip... then it becomes a claw...Desperately. But of course... all that does is go around and bite you in the behind...

C. Because I try to be an empathetic person, I can somewhat imagine myself in his place... I start crying when I think about all the damage I've done... The disgust or the freaking out... I'm upset that someone feels that way about me... That's the last thing I wanted, so I tried to quickly un-do it. Which just made things much, much worse...

I'm not sure what to do because (I'm not sure if you read my other thread, but I have a lot of relationship issues with my mom, too, so all of my relationships EVERYWHERE are unhealthy) my mom does not know what I was doing with this guy. AND I don't have ANY money I can spend on a therapist/psychologist. Seriously - zero. Somebody would have to literally be nice enough to give me therapy for free...

Listen people, I'm not dumb... I can tell now that my emotional sensitivity is one of my greatest assets and also one of my greatest flaws... I pride myself on trying to be empathetic, compassionate, passionate... but there is a line. Having that in moderation is key... Everything I do I've always thought came from a good place... and it does... it just becomes twisted and mangled as it comes out...