2+ months of no communication - thoughts

I feel like it's been 5 years, in reality it's been only 3+ months since the breakup.

I still wonder if I will get a text from her someday.. literally everytime I pick up my phome, but the harsh truth is that I don't know if that day will come.

She never tried to fix issues and challenges throughout the 2.5 year relationship so applying that same logic to this breakup would mean that she will never try to put the pieces back together on her own.

I did my duty in trying to fix the issues at hand 2+ months back.. nothing worked. (NC since that time)

I guess I'm just having some serious realizations throughout this time without her...

* I feel resentment toward her because I feel she abandoned the relationship without a valiant effort put forth on her part.

This is just a place for me to speak my mind, thank you all for reading, thanks for commenting.

Hello there. Sorry you're having to go through this.

NC means blocking that person through all media, so you're not looking at your phone for that text. It avoids that feeling of rejection.

What else are you doing to help your recovery?

Hey positiveone, keep going buddy, you're getting there, step by step, and before you know it, you'll be through this and moving on, happy with yourself with that door closed behind you.

5 years was a long time, and resentment is a typical feeling during the breakup process. It tends to make the ending of the angry phase and the moving onto the acceptance stage, with the realisations and understanding.Keep working on yourself and becoming happy again.

It will take a while to rebuild after 2.5 yrs. But you will. You'll recover what parts are you and what parts are a void you can replace with stuff for now and other dates, when you are ready. Start salvaging everything you were before you met her and rebuild from there.

You WILL be tempted to reach out to her at some point, hopefully not, but if you do; do NOT break NC at ALL COSTS. Believe me, I learned it the hard way. You WILL regret it. The pain of rejection will hit you like a Mack truck. I read so many posts saying this too, prior to me contacting my ex and I did it anyway thinking it was a great idea. I came up with all these cool things to say that will hopefully win her back but my ex cut through all of it like a hot knife through butter and rejected me like I was as worthless as a piece of trash. Just stick to your NC and be committed. It seems she might have the upper hand in your relationship (you said: "She never tried to fix issues and challenges throughout the 2.5 year relationship.") This means you tried harder and if you tried harder that means you cared more. So in order for this to ever work SHE would have to be the one to reach out and pretty much beg for you back, otherwise it's pretty much over bro, hate to say. Good luck man, just please don't break NC. I wish I had listened.

This means you tried harder and if you tried harder that means you cared more. So in order for this to ever work SHE would have to be the one to reach out and pretty much beg for you back

Thank you for this perspective. It helps me with my own situation so much.

Hey positiveone, keep going buddy, you're getting there, step by step, and before you know it, you'll be through this and moving on, happy with yourself with that door closed behind you.

 

5 years was a long time, and resentment is a typical feeling during the breakup process. It tends to make the ending of the angry phase and the moving onto the acceptance stage, with the realisations and understanding.Keep working on yourself and becoming happy again.

I'm still on the anger and resentment stage every time I think of him and the implications of his actions and lies on my life and my happiness. I don't feel sadness,haven't cried because Iv been through major stuff and crying is just something I don't do anymore but I just feel so angry with him.

I'm still on the anger and resentment stage every time I think of him and the implications of his actions and lies on my life and my happiness. I don't feel sadness,haven't cried because Iv been through major stuff and crying is just something I don't do anymore but I just feel so angry with him.

Sometimes I think you feel angry because you don't want to feel sad....about anything .....anymore.

That anger will consume you. You gotta find a way to let it go at some point.

I feel like it's been 5 years, in reality it's been only 3+ months since the breakup.

 

I still wonder if I will get a text from her someday.. literally everytime I pick up my phome, but the harsh truth is that I don't know if that day will come.

 

She never tried to fix issues and challenges throughout the 2.5 year relationship so applying that same logic to this breakup would mean that she will never try to put the pieces back together on her own.

 

I did my duty in trying to fix the issues at hand 2+ months back.. nothing worked. (NC since that time)

 

I guess I'm just having some serious realizations throughout this time without her...

 

* I feel resentment toward her because I feel she abandoned the relationship without a valiant effort put forth on her part.

 

This is just a place for me to speak my mind, thank you all for reading, thanks for commenting.

I understand how you feel and it's horrible pain. In the beginning, my ex said we were meant to be together and he would fight for me. In the end, I was the one who did all the fighting for us.

I have to accept and realize that I am worth fighting for and so are you. It's better for us not to be with people who don't embrace us and realize what they have in us.

That being said... Knowing your value and embracing that value doesn't answer the pain or make it hurt any less.

But we should heal and hold out for someone who really appreciates us. Someone who doesn't leave us.

Sometimes I think you feel angry because you don't want to feel sad....about anything .....anymore.

That anger will consume you. You gotta find a way to let it go at some point.

I am ok at work and around my family but when I think about him, I do get really angry and wound up.

He cheated and he's walked away just like that. Yes I ended it and changed my number when I caught him out living his double life but the fact that he's f'd off makes me feel like after messing me around for seven years, he's lost nothing. I can't shake that thought off no matter how much I'm trying to.

I am ok at work and around my family but when I think about him, I do get really angry and wound up.

He cheated and he's walked away just like that. Yes I ended it and changed my number when I caught him out living his double life but the fact that he's f'd off makes me feel like after messing me around for seven years, he's lost nothing. I can't shake that thought off no matter how much I'm trying to.

He lost plenty! He lost YOU. And

as a person.....he's a horrible liar. So in my opinion,..he has NOTHING. He has nothing worth having. His new woman has a liar and a cheat. They have a relationship built on lies.

I wouldn't want to be a liar and a cheat. And I wouldn't want to be with one either. Those aren't things to desire and they are certainly A LOSS FOR HIM. He has no depth, no heart and a relationship built on a foundation of someone else's pain. He will suffer much in life because nothing he has is worth having or real.

He lost plenty! He lost YOU. And

as a person.....he's a horrible liar. So in my opinion,..he has NOTHING. He has nothing worth having. His new woman has a liar and a cheat. They have a relationship built on lies.

 

I wouldn't want to be a liar and a cheat. And I wouldn't want to be with one either. Those aren't things to desire and they are certainly A LOSS FOR HIM. He has no depth, no heart and a relationship built on a foundation of someone else's pain. He will suffer much in life because nothing he has is worth having or real.

Aw thank you. See that's the logical side of things. My heart keeps saying well he's got a wife (yes it is built on lies and she's got no respect for him at all nor has anyone else, they are both using each other and there's no true foundations otherwise why would he have stayed with me making me think he's divorced.)

He's also managed to have a kid which is the reason I left him (Because I found out he wasn't divorced and she was pregnant.)

Then he said he was drunk and this n that.

But feel like he hasn't lost anything and he's getting on with his life.

Aw thank you. See that's the logical side of things. My heart keeps saying well he's got a wife (yes it is built on lies and she's got no respect for him at all nor has anyone else, they are both using each other and there's no true foundations otherwise why would he have stayed with me making me think he's divorced.)

He's also managed to have a kid which is the reason I left him (Because I found out he wasn't divorced and she was pregnant.)

Then he said he was drunk and this n that.

But feel like he hasn't lost anything and he's getting on with his life.

I wouldn't want his life. His life is drama and lies.

He lost everything. He has no reason to respect himself.

Being able to look in the mirror will keep you alive. Hating yourself and being a horrible person will

kill you.

You have better things to look forward to then whether or not is life is "ok".

I'm sorry this is causing u so much pain. U deserve better.

I wouldn't want his life. His life is drama and lies.

He lost everything. He has no reason to respect himself.

Being able to look in the mirror will keep you alive. Hating yourself and being a horrible person will

kill you.

You have better things to look forward to then whether or not is life is "ok".

 

I'm sorry this is causing u so much pain. U deserve better.

Thank you your words mean so much. Do u really see it like that from the outside?

I feel like his family (who hated me any way but now I know why they did!) are laughing at me. Feel like he is thinking so what I lost nothing. His "wife" who he kicked out once before will have him back and sleep with him just so she's not a divorcee. They've got a council house and I feel like well he's got everything a loser like him needs.

FYI just in case you didn't read my story..he told me he got divorced four years ago but being Asian they brought her back. Then I found out he's lying last year and he said that he is going to issue divorce papers to her and he said he's back at his mums and has issued the papers. Only found out from his dad's gf (who his mum knows about lol) that in fact he's not divorced and she's in fact pregnant.)

That's when I found out about the drinking and all of it. I know they don't get on but still feel like he's lost nothing.

I want better but I keep feeling like I'm the loser in the situation. Sorry I go on and on but honestly these thoughts are what stop me from just forgetting about him.

Thank you your words mean so much. Do u really see it like that from the outside?

I feel like his family (who hated me any way but now I know why they did!) are laughing at me. Feel like he is thinking so what I lost nothing. His "wife" who he kicked out once before will have him back and sleep with him just so she's not a divorcee. They've got a council house and I feel like well he's got everything a loser like him needs.

 

FYI just in case you didn't read my story..he told me he got divorced four years ago but being Asian they brought her back. Then I found out he's lying last year and he said that he is going to issue divorce papers to her and he said he's back at his mums and has issued the papers. Only found out from his dad's gf (who his mum knows about lol) that in fact he's not divorced and she's in fact pregnant.)

That's when I found out about the drinking and all of it. I know they don't get on but still feel like he's lost nothing.

I want better but I keep feeling like I'm the loser in the situation. Sorry I go on and on but honestly these thoughts are what stop me from just forgetting about him.

I don't mind listening or the fact that you go on.... I'm here for you.

You "lost" a liar and a drunk and a cheat. Let that sink in. That's who he is.

Is that what you want?

He made room in your life for a real man. When you finish being angry .....Be glad he's gone.

I'm glad he's gone. U deserve better. And he deserves what he gets. A loveless marriage and a house. I would trade real love and trust for that any day of the week.

I don't mind listening or the fact that you go on.... I'm here for you.

 

You "lost" a liar and a drunk and a cheat. Let that sink in. That's who he is.

 

Is that what you want?

 

He made room in your life for a real man. When you finish being angry .....Be glad he's gone.

 

I'm glad he's gone. U deserve better. And he deserves what he gets. A loveless marriage and a house. I would trade real love and trust for that any day of the week.

I've been through so much and he was there he saw if all. Didn't think he'd deceive me for years and years. He would have married me on the quiet and I would have found out later that he had a kid!

But I think why did I spend so long with him? Forgive his lies and disappearances?

On the outside, you don't think I look like the mug..honestly?

Like he played me and won? Well he didn't, cos I found him out and left him. But that won't be how he sees it.

I've been through so much and he was there he saw if all. Didn't think he'd deceive me for years and years. He would have married me on the quiet and I would have found out later that he had a kid!

But I think why did I spend so long with him? Forgive his lies and disappearances?

 

 

On the outside, you don't think I look like the mug..honestly?

 

Like he played me and won? Well he didn't, cos I found him out and left him. But that won't be how he sees it.

No. I think he's a jerk. And I am glad u found out before he ruined your whole life and wasted more of your time.

Thank you. How are you feeling?

Thank you. How are you feeling?

I feel alone and like crap. Been yelling at my ex in my head all day becuase I miss him so much and have so many things I want to tell him and I want to know how he is! It hurts me to not be able to lay eyes on him and know he's ok. He is always in my heart.

I got no sleep last night because I miss sleeping next to him so I'm totally zoned out at work. My son is with my ex husband tonight so I don't look forward to going home and being alone tonight.

I wish I could leave work and just go lie under my bed. But I have on a fake smile and I'm just trying to make it through the day. 😔

I feel alone and like crap. Been yelling at my ex in my head all day becuase I miss him so much and have so many things I want to tell him and I want to know how he is! It hurts me to not be able to lay eyes on him and know he's ok. He is always in my heart.

 

I got no sleep last night because I miss sleeping next to him so I'm totally zoned out at work. My son is with my ex husband tonight so I don't look forward to going home and being alone tonight.

 

I wish I could leave work and just go lie under my bed. But I have on a fake smile and I'm just trying to make it through the day. 😔

You know what they say- fake it til u make it. Work is good, keeps you grounded and sane. I guess it will be slow but you will get there. See I've bypassed all the sadness and longing and I'm straight at the anger stage and haven't really left it.

For now just concentrate on one day at a time. And if u need to talk, just message on here. Chin up girl 👍

I feel alone and like crap. Been yelling at my ex in my head all day becuase I miss him so much and have so many things I want to tell him and I want to know how he is! It hurts me to not be able to lay eyes on him and know he's ok. He is always in my heart.

 

I got no sleep last night because I miss sleeping next to him so I'm totally zoned out at work. My son is with my ex husband tonight so I don't look forward to going home and being alone tonight.

 

I wish I could leave work and just go lie under my bed. But I have on a fake smile and I'm just trying to make it through the day.

 

Yep, same boat. Sleepless nights. Alone and feel worthless.

 

You are not alone. People care. People are there. There for you.

Yep, same boat. Sleepless nights. Alone and feel worthless.

 

You are not alone. People care. People are there. There for you.

Thank u. I appreciate all of you. So much.

You know what they say- fake it til u make it. Work is good, keeps you grounded and sane. I guess it will be slow but you will get there. See I've bypassed all the sadness and longing and I'm straight at the anger stage and haven't really left it.

For now just concentrate on one day at a time. And if u need to talk, just message on here. Chin up girl 👍

Thanks for the support. 😊💙