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Thread: I dont even know where to start.

  1. #1

    I dont even know where to start.

    So a bit of background of my relationship situation before I get into this. I'm currently 19, and my girlfriend is 20. We have been dating for 3 years and 3 months. We first got to know each other actually as children. My mother was best friends with her grandmother and so we got to see each other all the time despite the fact that she lived a town away from me, we basically grew up together and know every bit of information possible about each other. As time grew on my mom and her grandma stopped being friends and we stopped hanging around each other

    cut to a few years later I unknowingly dated one of her friends without knowing but once introduced to my now girlfriend by my ex it wasn't long until I ditched the ex. And just as I happen to ditch the ex my living situation changed and i was now living in the same town as my now girlfriend, and we hit it off instantly. We confessed that back in the day we both had feelings for each other. And decided to give things a start.

    Jump three years later. Girlfriend and I still get along great. We are best friends. But the biggest problem I'm facing right now, my girlfriend has started on birth control about 8 or so months ago. Before then the sex was incredible, we were all over each other. But once she got birth control (the bar in the arm) her sex drive vanished. We've maybe had sex 10 times in those past 8 months and lackluster sex at that. There's no passion anymore. I feel neglected because I crave the affection I used to get from her. I've talked to her about this and she doesnt really say much to it. But she does express that she won't even consider switching birth control options.

    And to talk a little bit more about my dilema. She also just recently quit her job about a month ago and has made no effort of getting a new one. I've started working 14 hour days in order to get a little bit more money to support her and myself.

    I'm starting to not feel the same way towards her but we still get along perfectly. But I feel trapped. See, my family isn't very big and my friend base is really small, 1 friend a mother, a father, and a brother. That's all. My 1 friend is moving to another state in about a weeks time so I won't have anyone else besides my family and girlfriend, whom is similar to me with a very small friend base of 1 good friend. I'm currently living with my girlfriend and her grandma rent free. ( we were stupid and got tied into a couple contracts together and can barely afford that.) And I'm not welcome over at my family's place to stay.

    So, as a 19 year old just going into adulthood I'm in a long term relationship with very little friends. Very little contact with the outside world and have almost completely stopped having sex. I feel like this relationship is stopping me from moving forward in life but at the same time, if I leave this relationship I'm screwed for a place to live as I dont have the money to support my self and would have no where to go and i would be all alone because my one and only friend is moving away from me shortly. This is really hard for me to decide, i'm so conflicted. Here I am with the woman I love and have had so many years with and watching the relationship we have fall apart even though I wish I could spark the flame back in it. But I want to get on with my life. But if I leave I'm screwed. I dont know what to do.

  2. #2
    If you have any more questions feel free to ask. I'm just a bit scatter brained right now and i might have left some stuff out on accident.

  3. #3
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    Can you find a shared apartment to live in, with a roommate(s)? Why are you not welcome at your own family's house?

    It sounds like your relationship with your girlfriend has run its course. You have essentially no life outside of her and that's just not healthy. I also can't understand why she's not out looking for work, or why you're supporting her when she pays no rent anyway. What are you giving her money for, exactly?

    I would work on building up your own savings so you can move out. It sounds like this has become stifling.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    You are living rent free but it's not working out, is it? Move out and get a room or roommates sharing a house, etc.

    No one is 'screwing you out of a place' and you are not 'trapped'. You are choosing to live sex free and rent free rather than finding an affordable place.
    Originally Posted by 2percentmilk
    I'm currently 19. been dating for 3 years and 3 months. We first got to know each other actually as children. I'm currently living with my girlfriend and her grandma rent free. if I leave this relationship I'm screwed for a place to live as I dont have the money to support my self.

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  6. #5
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    Originally Posted by 2percentmilk
    But she does express that she won't even consider switching birth control options.
    Why not? Has she given you a reason?

  7. #6
    It took her 3 months to get approved for it. She got the bar implanted in her arm so its a bit of a more difficult process.

  8. #7
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    Come on man, is this somebody that really cares about you and your well-being? The truest test is would you make a similar sacrifice for her if it were you? If so, then you are not an equal footing in this relationship. It can't succeed.

    Demand the best for yourself mate. You deserve the best. Not because you're better than her. But because you're a G.


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