Insecurity about my body

I am VERY insecure when it comes to my body. It's easier to tell people that you shouldn't have to worry about how you look because you're beautiful but in my reality I feel opposite way.

I feel that I am too skinny (137 pounds) and I'm too tall (5'10) which makes me look skinny. I mean I have had family members ask me do I want to borrow some of their fat, lol. I feel that since my hair is short, I have no hips, no butt, it looks like I have smokers' lips, and to top it off my breast are TWO DIFFERENT sizes. I have a gap that overlaps.

I also have Epilepsy which just takes my insecurities to a whole 'nother level believe it, or not. I take medicine for it though but anyways since I have Epilepsy I can't look up at the sun like other people can--if I do my eyes will roll to the back of my head. And I always question why me out of all people.

I feel like no one understands what it feels like to do that in front of people especially when I don't have a pair of glasses. I hate it. I hate the way I look, I hate the way I dress (I wish I had clothes like others'), I wish I had a boyfriend that lived close by, and most of all I wish that I didn't have to be so insecure about myself.

I have NEVER dated a boy that lives near me--I automatically think that no thinks I'm pretty and the ones that say it are just trying to boost me up.

I believe my insecurities come from when I was bullied from the 5th grade to the 9th grade. It comes from other things but most of all that.

I see what some people would think of as 'unattractive' people with either a boyfriend/girlfriend and I just think is it because I'm TOO tall? Is it because I'm TOO skinny? Or am I just that damn ugly?

Any advice. I am discouraged at this point and I don't really know...

Therapy would help you sort out many of these issues. Continue to go to your doctors and get better assistance with the seizure disorder and work with a therapist about lifestyle management of that as well.

Get a new image. New clothes, new hairstyle, new makeup whatever. Work out and get fit and eat better. Make the best of what you are. Take classes such as exercise, yoga meditation tai chi, etc, for better mental and physical health.

Join some clubs and groups to build your self esteem.

Stop hiding and chatting with uninterested random long distance guys. Get on dating apps with a nice profile and pics and start meeting local guys for coffee. Ignore teasing from family. If it continues tell a therapist what's going on.