Confused about my extreme feelings towards my ex

The best relationship I've ever had was during my sophomore year of highschool - despite how well it was going for the both of us I broke up with her after dating for about 9 months. It was only my second relationship so I felt that I needed to experience more, I only had one other relationship to compare to. I also felt I would eventually get over her and sate my curiosity for dating others. The thing that makes me an the most is the fact that I have now dated others and realized how perfect she was for me in comparison. Its been exactly four years since the breakup and I cant stop thinking about her and about once a month (for the past four years) I have an extremely vivid dream about her. Its almost torturous, like having to 'get over' the same person again and again. I would love to reconnect with her even just as friends, but she has removed me on social media. The good news is she ended up going to the same college as me (probably a coincidence, I doubt shed choose the same one as me on purpose, seems strange though). How do I talk to her again, and what should I say?

Copy and pasted from another forum with a character limit, so I'm going to add this - a bit of tangent, but more information is always good right?:

From the day she stopped messaging me (not too long after we broke up) I left her alone - up until nearly 3 years after our relationship started (or nearly a year ago from today). Because the reoccurring dreams kept her on my mind constantly I felt like I was going insane, too many thoughts/feelings kept to myself that I wanted to share with her. I assumed the fact that I couldn't stop thinking about her was normal at first and it would go away, but each consecutive day lead me to believe otherwise and that my brain was telling me something. Once I got to a point where I admitted to myself that I am obviously not getting over her yet, I decided the best approach to solve these problems wouldnt be stalking her in person or trying to add her on social media again, but sending a heartfelt letter. It took me about a year to actually write the letter out of nervousness, and then another month of constantly editing it. I made sure it was perfect, that it illustrated the point that I just wanted to share my feelings, admit that I'm an , and apologize. I added that although I dont deserve it, I would enjoy speaking with her again, but I have not heard from her. (As a millennial, another thing that bothers me about letters is I feel like I have no way of knowing if she got it lol). I attended her high school graduation a few days after sending it - this mostly being a coincidence as I was there to with friends to see our younger friends graduate - but I could not work up the courage to approach her at the graduation. In summary, no response from her (if it sent) and I'm too timid around her.

Some thoughtful insight into all of this information would be great, as even if I saw her on my college campus I would probably be too embarrassed by her presence to say anything, but I feel like if I could just sit down and talk with her personally about all of this, I know exactly what I would say. Thank you to anyone who can make something out of all of this!

Why not try sending a new friend request with a friendly message on social media? The worst that could happen is she will not accept it, and then you have your answer.

but don't pour your heart out at this point. You haven't spoken in years and you have no idea where her heart and mind are at, or even if she's dating someone else. You could suggest meeting for a coffee and catching up and see what happens.

Just don't put all your eggs in one basket. She might not be interested in revisiting the past.

Unfortunately it sounds like she's moved on with her life and isn't interested in reconnecting. She removed you from social media, she didn't respond to the letter (very typical with these "get your ex back" type letters, they tend to creep women out)

It would be best to redirect your focus on yourself and your future and college life. Stop showing up to places where she is and sending unwanted communication. Work on yourself and perhaps sort out this obsession with a therapist before it gets worse and you do more regrettable things.

Build up your self confidence. Work out update your image, clothes hair etc. Join all sorts of sports, clubs, groups, organisations,etc on campus.

Do not contact her again on social media or otherwise. She has not contacted you nor responded. She may show her friends and parents these letters, etc and get a restraining order.

she has removed me on social media. It took me about a year to actually write the letter out of nervousness, and then another month of constantly editing it. no response from her

"get your ex back" type letters

Something I'm quite conscious about is not becoming the sort of 'stalker ex' despite my feelings. The letter is the only thing I've sent, and the thesis of the letter was an apology and not to 'get her back'. No other form of contact attempted, including when I've seen her in person - they've all been a coincidence. I do agree that to further pursue my feelings towards her would definitely lead to that, this is sort of part of my issue. Here and on other forums people are telling me to just try to have a casual encounter when I see them and see what happens, and that's probably my best bet to avoid the whole stalker ex thing. Worst case is she ignores me and I have a pretty solid answer.