Girlfriend posting photos of her with ex- on social media

Hi,

 

Just like to start off by saying I'm aware this is a highly trivial issue compared to many relationship problems but thought I needed some help.

 

Me and my girlfriend broke up earlier this year and were sexually active during this time. We both slept with someone but the person I slept with isn't in the picture. However, the person she slept with is a friend of hers. We are now back together and she has posted mutliple pictures of her with him and while I understand this is fine as they are friends I feel quite hurt as it makes me look like an idiot as everyone is aware of our situation. She thinks this isn't an issue but I would never dream of putting photos of me with an ex on social media as I would assume it would hurt her feelings.

 

I want to talk to her about this but don't want to seem unreasonable and 'too much'. Any ideas? Thank you.

Were these posted before, or after you got back together?

Not gonna lie, dude. If she's posting these pictures now, it does make you look like a "cuck" in the pure sense of the word.

 

Really, it seems either obscenely absent minded or blatantly disrespectful toward your feelings to be posting couples photos with someone she was banging while she's now with you. Regardless of which of the two it might be, that doesn't seem like a character trait that goes away because you have a conversation. Couple it with the fact you two have already broken up once, I'm not sure it's worth the effort. In your shoes, I'd likely just realize the genuine futility that came with the first failed go and cut my losses this time.

 

In short, it's a stupid conversation to need to have. Personally, I don't do stupid conversations on principle. If she's putting you in a position to need to have stupid conversations, that should be a telling sign.

 

If, however, these are pictures posted while you two weren't together, you'd be the one needlessly egging it on.

Are they friend photos or photos of when they were dating?

These photos are from when we were broken up and have continued since we got back together. I do feel like a 'cuck' exactly and I feel like she is totally ignorant or in denial that this hurts my feelings. I won't break up with her as we are very happy but I appreciate the frankness! We're University freshers at the same uni so that's been hard on the relationship obviously.

These photos are from when we were broken up and have continued since we got back together.

As in she's continuing to post new photos of them or they're pictures that have simply stayed up since you two have reconciled?

There were photos taken and put up while we were broken up and there have been more photos taken and posted by her since we have been toghether again. They aren't just photos of her and him but usally him and her and another friend or something.

There were photos taken and put up while we were broken up and there have been more photos taken and posted by her since we have been toghether again. They aren't just photos of her and him but usally him and her and another friend or something.

 

So if you're comfortable with her continuing to hang out with him then I guess you have to put up with the photos too.

I've thought about that Batya33, I don't mind them going out together with other friends at all as I like to consider myself a fairly reasonable person! But displaying that they're going out together when most people know their past as well as the fact that she's back with me just seems a kick in the teeth and disrespectful if I'm honest.

There were photos taken and put up while we were broken up and there have been more photos taken and posted by her since we have been toghether again. They aren't just photos of her and him but usally him and her and another friend or something.

You might have a case for asking her not to post strictly him and her / coupley pictures, but asking her to cut out group photos would go too far, IMO. You've chosen to get back with her and stay with her knowing that she's still active friends with the man she was sleeping with during the time you two were previously broken up. Posting group photos with that friend included is platonic enough.

Yeah as I said I know this is trivial but I can't help my feelings that I find this disrespectful. I'd never want to control her at all but at the same time I can't hide my feelings from her. It's just the issue of feeling like a 'cuck' as you said is quite frustrating.

Not sure I would be too comfortable with my girlfriend sleeping with someone while we were broken and still being in contact with the guy after got back to together

I'm not insecure about her loyalty to me at all and I'm perfectly friendly so it isn't a problem. I just see that displaying their friendship on social media is a step too far in terms of respecting my feelings about the subject.

An ex in the picture is a red flag even if he's a friend, they hooked up so, not "just a friend" anymore. Of course she can post whatever she wants as distasteful as it is.

the person she slept with is a friend of hers. We are now back together and she has posted mutliple pictures of her with him. She thinks this isn't an issue.

I'm probs a minority in here but a lot of people hook up with friends and it doesn't mean anything. You sleep together fora while and if you were friends before an there were no feelings involved it is easy to go back to being friends. If the pictures of them together are with a group of people it is possible she doesn't even think that it would hurt yu. She could be thinking that she is just with friend and kind of forgotten that they ever even hooked up.

 

You should tell her how it makes you feel. You can't contro her social media accoutns but you can express your feeling. Then she can either use the information or not and you can decide how much it actually bothers you.