Jump to content

Recommended Posts

So I'm on day 2 of no contact which is really good for me. I'm honestly so proud of myself. I need to stay strong and in a few days when I start to miss him be more strong and not contact him. Me and my ex was together around a year and we had broken up around 3 times in that time. The first 2 time we broken up was both for around different situation but we always went back for eachother because of how much we loved eachother.

But this time something changed. He was telling me he didn't love me as much as he did. He didn't find me as attractive as before. And that he wanted to see me less.

So after a few days of arguing I got fed up and ended things myself. He got aggressive and said some horrible things. I was happy to leave it amicable but he wasn't. Every other time we broke up he was the one to do it. And I don't think he liked it that I was fed up of his constant roller coaster of emotions and actually got of the ride myself.

It is hard because he is my first love, I do feel such a strong connection to him but I can't deal with his constant up one minute and then down again. I never know where I stand and I feel like I had to walk on egg shells around him.

1 st time we broke up was over something stupid.

2nd time he ended things because he was very depressed. His granch had just passed and it was very hard for him and all his family. I tried to be there as much as I could and tried to help everyone. But he pushed me away and did some horrible things to hurt me.

Eventually he come back and said he realised he done wrong.

But now he started to do the roller coaster and saying things like that to me again.

I just need to be strong and not contact him, I do care and I hope he's okay but I can't for my own sanity

Link to comment

Sorry to hear this. Good you went no contact. Frequent breakups and on/off are red flags that it's not working out. What were all the arguments about?

 

Stay strict no contact and delete and block him from everything rather than stay on the roller coaster, particularly after he tells you this 6801694]He was telling me he didn't love me as much as he did. He didn't find me as attractive as before

Link to comment

Yes I need to be strong. Every other time I was constantly messaging him after we broke up so I'm so happy that I've gone 2 days and stopped myself. Well the first argument I honestly can't even remember what it was about. The second one was 3 weeks after his granch passed. He accused me of cheating which was bs as I loved him very much. Then during the break up he would send pics of him kissing other girls etc. Say horrible let things to me when all I was doing was begging for him back 🙈🙈 and now it's this time which I did after he said all that stuff to me. I am done, I just want to be happy. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't even know if they love me 😒

Link to comment
He was just up and down all the time. When we was great we was great but when he was down he brought me down with him. I do love him, I'm fighting hard not to text and ask how he is or whatever

 

Don't do it. Ive gone NC after seven years of a relationship with a guy who I feel just took advantage of my feelings and my kindness even though I was the nasty one at times, it was because my gut feeling was always telling me something wasn't right.

My ex never said anything nasty to me but the way he treated me behind my back means no matter how much I miss what I thought we were, I know I can't go back there.

It will be mega hard but do it for yourself and in time I'm sure he will be a distant memory.

Link to comment

With my ex he has pushed me away. He suffers with depression and when he gets down he build a wall up and let's no one in. He told me he doesn't feel attracted to me like he used too and doesn't think he loves me like he used too. Etc.

And he asked for space.

That to me is a big red flag.

Now I have been dealing with a lot of stuff at home myself, things have been tough.

After I ended it with him, I tried talking to him about how all this stuff at home as been hard, and he sent me a photo of his grandfather's urn and said not everything is about you.

Trying to make me feel guilty for feeling my own pain and going through my own stuff. When his granch passed I was there. I stood by him and did what ever I could for him and his family and I don't think it was fair that he did that too me.

I told him this and he said don't ing contact me again and we haven't spoken since then.

I feel like I need closure, or to speak to him about why he did that. But I also don't want to break NC. What do you think about this situation?

Link to comment
With my ex he has pushed me away. He suffers with depression and when he gets down he build a wall up and let's no one in. He told me he doesn't feel attracted to me like he used too and doesn't think he loves me like he used too. Etc.

And he asked for space.

That to me is a big red flag.

Now I have been dealing with a lot of stuff at home myself, things have been tough.

After I ended it with him, I tried talking to him about how all this stuff at home as been hard, and he sent me a photo of his grandfather's urn and said not everything is about you.

Trying to make me feel guilty for feeling my own pain and going through my own stuff. When his granch passed I was there. I stood by him and did what ever I could for him and his family and I don't think it was fair that he did that too me.

I told him this and he said don't ing contact me again and we haven't spoken since then.

I feel like I need closure, or to speak to him about why he did that. But I also don't want to break NC. What do you think about this situation?

 

 

Listen, no matter how much you want closure you cannot make him give it to you. Sometimes we think we need closure in order to move on but that's not the case. We can move on without them. Its our dependency upon them is what's making us think they have these magic words that will make us feel better. In reality, they only bring more pain. It will be okay, lets do NC together. Trust me you do not want to text him and start all over. I made that mistake. I am now on day 2. We can both update eachother everyday on how we are feeling!

Link to comment
Listen, no matter how much you want closure you cannot make him give it to you. Sometimes we think we need closure in order to move on but that's not the case. We can move on without them. Its our dependency upon them is what's making us think they have these magic words that will make us feel better. In reality, they only bring more pain. It will be okay, lets do NC together. Trust me you do not want to text him and start all over. I made that mistake. I am now on day 2. We can both update eachother everyday on how we are feeling!

 

Yeah I know. It is a struggle cause I do love him but I need to fall out of love with him. NC is the way and I have never done it the previous times we broke up. What's your story?

Link to comment
Yeah I know. It is a struggle cause I do love him but I need to fall out of love with him. NC is the way and I have never done it the previous times we broke up. What's your story?

Read my recent post! Basically I got used for sex by my ex / ex best friend. I begged and pleaded for closure and never got it.

Link to comment

Well day 3 and still going strong. I've wrote a list of 30 reasons why not to text, why I don't need him and why I'm better off without him. Going to read each one day by day and hopfully by day 30 I won't need to be reminded why I don't need him. I'll just know that I don't

Link to comment
Well day 3 and still going strong. I've wrote a list of 30 reasons why not to text, why I don't need him and why I'm better off without him. Going to read each one day by day and hopfully by day 30 I won't need to be reminded why I don't need him. I'll just know that I don't

 

Great idea!!! I may try it!

Link to comment
Yes I feel like he took advantage of my kindness and even my love for him aswell. How long have you and your ex not been in contact for now and how are you coping?

 

Not been in contact for 13 days now after I broke NC after a week to tell him what a pig he was. I'm not tempted to get in touch or anything but I feel like he's walked away from this unscathed (you'll have to read my story lol.)

Everyone keeps saying I'm better off out of it, I feel it too but I keep thinking he's happy how he is and he didn't lose out whereas I'm having to start again.

Men like him can let go I guess,even though he kept coming back for seven years but so did I keep going back to him. And he can live a life with someone who doesn't love, respect or care for him but I wanted better for myself.

I feel like Iv used all my love on him and don't even want to get close to another man now. But I want to have a family and I'm 30 in a few months.😞

Link to comment
I know what u mean. It feels now that u have to start over again with someone new which succccks

 

Yes that's the hard part for me. But because of my age and the fact that I want a family, I haven't got time to stay single. That's why I hate him so much. Feel like drunk or not drunk, he created a family for himself yet I have to start anew.

Link to comment
Yes that's the hard part for me. But because of my age and the fact that I want a family, I haven't got time to stay single. That's why I hate him so much. Feel like drunk or not drunk, he created a family for himself yet I have to start anew.

 

Wouldn't u rather wait and start a family with the right man? He obviously isn't the person u was meant to settle with. Now u can actually go find the right man for you

Link to comment

I honestly don't know why I care. I could never forgive him for laughing about the pain i was going through with my father. After everything I did for him when his grandfather passed?! It's shocking how we still care about people who treat u like dirt. Time to have a little more respect for myself.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...