Ex BF hot and cold...please help?

My Ex-Bf and I recently broke up in February of 2017. In the duration of our 3 year relationship we had financial difficulties, long distant hardships, trust issues, and occasional explosive arguments etc. Do not get me wrong we also had many many great times, he treated me like a queen. It just didn't work out and he probably got tired of my bs.

Fast forward in March, this point I'm begging and pleading to get him back. I stalked his social media and phone/texts records to see if he's dating anyone else. Pathetic right? He told me after the break up he only wants to focus on his career (works on the road/ travels constantly) and advises we should work on ourselves, he has absolutely no intentions to date other women. Should I actually believe that or he doesn't want to tell me the whole truth not to hurt my feelings more? He called/ texted to tell me once again... " it hurts me to tell you this, but I can't be with you anymore. I love you and you are a part of me, two people can love each other and but not meant to be. We are incompatible. I'm not ready to commit. " I found him on numerous dating sites (he's open to marriage and having kids). . And swears up and down he's no longer using them. It so painful to go through because I begged for children with him and marriage one day. He's 34 and I'm 25.

So after this I removed myself from our bank joint account, determined a way to pay for my monthly car note on my own ( he bought it for me as a Christmas gift) and separate the rest of the bills. I did not contact him for at least 2 days! He texted me at 3 am " are you awake" I didn't answer. Next day I called to see what he wanted...sure enough, " I was out with the guys and was thinking about you." The following two weeks he started calling me every morning, during my work lunch hour, after I get off and before he goes to bed. Plus constantly texting me in between. I'm loving it at this point because he's initiating all the contact.

His job project is in Florida so he asked me to visit him. Surely I did for 4 days. Everything was going good until the 2nd night, we went to the bar. When he has alcohol in his system, he has a tendency to get jealous for no reason! He thought his friend was trying to hit on me. Complete misunderstanding! In the truck on the way back to the hotel, he kept bashing me ( I was crying of confusion on why he's acting this way) . He also blocked me on Facebook!. We got to the hotel, he started to scream at the top of his lungs "I can't be with you I can't wait until you go back home!!!" At this point I am furious because I did not know what I did to make him this way! I couldn't stand looking at his face and I shouted back at him. Packed up my stuff and left the room to cool off. He got worried I would leave and called my family. I'm not sure why every heated argument he loves to call my mom and get her involved. We are adults, this must be resolved between us! So I warned him Years/ months before not to do that, but he kept calling and I smashed his phone. ( I felt bad a week later!) So couple hours later that night I was still crying in bed, just fed up regretting the whole trip. He walked back into the room after he cooled off and apologize for the way he was acting. He said you're too gorgeous to cry, wiped my tears and asked to start over as bf/gf...Even asked to be his wife! I think the alcohol was talking so i declined his offer. Eventually I eased up like 30 minutes later and agreed we can start fresh lol. I'm such an idiot. We had sex and cuddled until the next morning. Later in the afternoon I asked what are we now? He had the nerve to say last night was too intense we are still not together, it will not change. I was so pissed off and beyond disbelief!!!! I didn't argue or say anything. My flight was that same day (April 2nd) we hugged and kissed good bye.

April, I'm still begging and pleading for another chance. I have lost all my self respect and dignity because this person I truly love has taken over me. He told me " heal and move on...I have to watch what I say not to lead you on. I will still pay for your car until it's paid off as it was a gift from me to you (mind you I have 19k left on it) , remain on the bank joint account and I'll still take care of you and the bills. I still value your happiness. I don't like seeing you hurt and upset." I'm just so confused people!!! He also told me yesterday as we're kinda getting a long that he enjoys us being civil and we should see where the future will takes us and let it happen naturally...but then he doesn't want me? What the heck. Any of you men understand this man I'm dealing with?? I really do love him and literally cannot imagine life without him.

Even though we have bank accounts and bills still linked ( I do work but he doesn't want me to pay for our bills) I'm starting the NC again.

Any thoughts will be appreciated! It seems like a lot, trust me I left out more details.

Separate your finances asap. Is the car title in your name or are you paying for a car you drive that's in his name? Refinance the car in your own name and pay for it yourself.

Is he an alcoholic? It sounds like a violent volatile relationship. He also has plenty of red flags for an abuser. You have to read up on that and stop being seduced by money gifts etc.

This is precisely what you should do 6801686]leave and called my family.

Under mines. He just makes the payments. Trust me I wanted to separate everything but he refused because he feels obligated and cares to still help me out financially.

This person loves to drink but never once been physically abusing towards me. I would say little verbal abusive. I can take care of myself and I'm not with him for money. I'm extremely physically and emotionally attached to this person. He genuinely cares about me but I really don't know if he's just stringing me along or what.

Do you live together? If he's still supporting you then you are not broken up, just drunken verbally abusive fights that you seem too be ok with.

he feels obligated and cares to still help me out financially. This person loves to drink but never once been physically abusing towards me. I would say little verbal abusive.

No we live separately now. We had history before officially getting together. He was never like this. I'm still in love with person I once knew. I'm aware it's never acceptable of the drunken verbal abuse. It's just difficult to walk away.

I agree, separate your accounts. That's first and foremost.

What is he thinking? I will tell you..

He no longer wants to be in a relationship with you. He tried it, and for whatever reason it did not work. He is not as invested in you as you are in him. That's why he's perfectly willing to lose you. He also knows you are in love with him and attached, and he wants you to remain tied to him through the bank account because then he can get his sex whenever he wants, without having to commit to you and pretty much give you anything in return - other than make a few payments here and there once in a while. There is nothing confusing about this situation at all.. he is in a position that most men would want to be in if they had the choice: to have a woman in love with them and get sex from the woman without having to commit to her at all. If you were smart and strong enough, you would shock him by

1. withdrawing all your attention from him.

2. closing your part of the bank account.

3. stop having sex with him.

4. stop begging him to take you back.

He is treating you like a prostitute. Get out if you can, he will never take you back.

Remember.. never chase your ex it never works it only feeds their ego and gives them power!