Is he being a hypocrite?

My husband and I had a 3some with my best friend for 9yrs over 30 times. I had a sexual relationship with my best friend before I met my husband since high school we have been sexual so I brought her into my relationship. So she got married in 2014 and asked me to have a 3 some with her husband and kept it a secret between us, after I told her no for years I fell selfish & give in, I did it with them 1 time in 2014 and she never ask me to do it again. This was a secret we were taking to the grave. But unfortunately it's out now... u my husband have over 100 videos of her from the day he started sleeping with her. So my phone was switch last month and accidentally all the conversation between my bff and I came up, my husband went through my phone while I was asleep and saw the conversation about the 3some with her husband. He got so upset and push a hole in the wall. Mind u this man have cheated on me over 4 times in the past and I still took him back, he even cheated in 2011 and had this girl around my now 6yrs old son, my son was calling her mommy at one point, I ask him who this girl was and he will tell me she's his imaginary friend. but I forgive him because I love him. I always wanted to pleased him sexually but he still cheated. now that he found out about the 3some we are getting a divorce and we have 3 little babies. What a messy situation I got myself into. I regret this so bad. mind u beside that one time I did it for my bff & her man I have been faithful to my husband from day one. Hes so upset that another man saw me naked & had sex with me, mind u I let this man do whatever he want to do sexually without any hesitation. I feel so stupid... Hes 44 I'm 31 years old so theres a age gap between us and have have more experience than I do. He felt that my bestfriend influence me to do it and that I put her before him because he told me not to sex any other man but him, I cut off my bestfriend last month and change my phone number. I'm currently in the processed of finding a apartment and moving out to give him his space.

Yes, he is a hypocrite. And you both have too much time on your hands. With 3 children, it's surprising that you have time for all this malarkey...

what the. this is a really messy situation. yes he is being hypocritical in some ways. both of you are at fault. your marriage doesn't sound very healthy.. moving out is a good idea

Neither of you had loyalty and because of that, this was doomed to fail eventually.

Good God! You all deserve each another.

I feel sorry for your kids. Seems to be a household of infidelity, lies and drama.

Get some therapy, so that you can discover what boundaries are.

Good God! You all deserve one another.

 

I feel sorry for your kid. Seems to be a household of infidelity, lies and drama.

I agree.. it's a train wreck

You are both hypocritical.

I do feel sorry for your kids but mostly I feel sorry for you.

You engage in activities to please others. And by pleasing one you upset the other.

When are you going to start doing things that please you? Why do you allow others make decisions for you?

I think you are best parting ways with this man, cutting off ties with your friend, start putting your children and you first.

It sounds like you agreed to have an open marriage. Did he just threaten divorce or file for divorce? Do not move out. He can't kick you out of a marital home. Get a lawyer asap. File for divorce and child support and custody. .

My husband and I had a 3some. .my husband went through my phone while I was asleep and saw the conversation about the 3some with her husband.he found out about the 3some we are getting a divorce and we have 3 little babies. moving out to give him his space.

It sounds like you agreed to have an open marriage. Did he just threaten divorce or file for divorce? Do not move out. He can't kick you out of a marital home. Get a lawyer asap. File for divorce and child support and custody. .

He kicked me out the house I'm in the processed of getting an apartment. I feel so stupid for allowing all this, I give him the freedom to do whatever he wanted. It was always open on his end and all I asked was he tell me who he was sleeping with. Even that he lied about it .... I always put him first and wanted him to be happy

He can't do that if you are married. See a lawyer. You could loose everything if you obsess on his drama rather than see a good attorney. Your house, your kids, your money, everything.

Stop worrying about who did what, who thinks what, etc. Stay focused on this real threat, not his indiscretions. Are you legally married?

He kicked me out the house I'm in the processed of getting an apartment.

He can't do that if you are married. See a lawyer. You could loose everything if you obsess on his drama rather than see a good attorney. Your house, your kids, your money, everything.

 

Stop worrying about who did what, who thinks what, etc. Stay focused on this real threat, not his indiscretions. Are you legally married?

Yes we are legally married I have 3 kids by him and I had always felt like no matter what I did for Jim sexually he always wanted more, so I let my guard down and told him to go ahead and sleep with other woman ....Hes very selfish

Then stop looking for an apt and start looking for a lawyer. Stay in the house with your children have him move out and set up child support payments and visitation. Act with logic not your emotions. Think of your children. He's setting you up to loose the house and your kids. Get your head in order. He's been a cheating jerk all along no news there. But fight for your house and kids. Go To A Lawyer Now.

Yes we are legally married I have 3 kids by him.

Then stop looking for an apt and start looking for a lawyer. Stay in the house with your children have him move out and set up child support payments and visitation. Act with logic not your emotions. Think of your children. He's setting you up to loose the house and your kids. Get your head in order. He's been a cheating jerk all along no news there. But fight for your house and kids. Go To A Lawyer Now.

He said we needed space apart, he will leave but he's usually home with the kids I worked full time and is in nursing school. I have 5 more months to complete school. I'm so lost and confused. We bought a house and moved to a new state last year so I know absolutely no one out here .

Talk. To.A.Lawyer. You risk losing everything if you don't get it together .

If you leave the home and leave the children behind you are de facto agreeing that it is acceptable to you for him to have the home and the children.

Do NOT move out! Explain to him that you will be staying in the marital home until a legal agreement can be worked out by your attorney.

Who cares what he said? Talk to a lawyer.

he's usually home with the kids I worked full time and is in nursing school. I have 5 more months to complete school. I'm so lost and confused. We bought a house and moved to a new state last year so I know absolutely no one out here .