Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 6 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 53

Thread: Completely Confused? What does this mean?

  1. #1
    confused345678
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    37
    Thanked
    9

    Completely Confused? What does this mean?

    Hi All- I was dating a guy for almost a year. We had a pretty great relationship- Things got serious. We told each other we loved each other. Even discussed marriage. Pretty much never fought- Just a great and happy relationship. Last few months, he had a lot of stress, I felt him pull away. I asked if he needed space, I told him I need certain things from a relationship- Can he give them to me right now. He said no- he has a lot to settle work-wise with his business and financially. So we broke up. However, weve kept in contact. He will not discuss feelings, emotions, says hes focused on his business right now- Yet we talk every once in a while- sometimes everyday, sometimes not? Whats going on here? Is needing space "guy-code" for I dont love you anymore? Why does he keep in touch with me- What do I do here? I still love him? Thanks

  2. #2
    Wiseman2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    22,431
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    16601
    Unfortunately it sounds like you gave him an ultimatum and he couldn't do it because he explained he's worried about his business work etc. What were the things you "needed right now"?

    It would be best since you asked him if he wanted space to give him space, no? He can't miss you or reflect on anything if you still talk all the time. Go no contact and wait for him to reach out to you.
    Quote Originally Posted by confused345678 [Register to see the link]
    Last few months, he had a lot of stress, I felt him pull away. I asked if he needed space, I told him I need certain things from a relationship- Can he give them to me right now. He said no- he has a lot to settle work-wise with his business and financially. So we broke up. However, weve kept in contact. He will not discuss feelings, emotions, says hes focused on his business right now- Yet we talk every once in a while- sometimes everyday, sometimes not?

  3. Thanks confused345678 thanked for this post
  4. #3
    confused345678
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    37
    Thanked
    9
    90% of the time, he reaches out to me. 10% I do. So if he texts- Dont answer? Is that rude? I dont want him to go away, but I feel like I am acting in the same capacity as his girlfriend, just with none of the real "relationship" stuff. I dont like it. I hate games. I feel like this is games. I didnt give an ultimatum- he was majorly stressed all the time. It was taking a toll on our relationship. I saw and recognized this- So I suggested if he needed time to sort himself out. He said yes. Im majorly confused. We had no issues. As we broke up he told me he loved me- Then all emotions just stopped dead- Like whats going on??? Im clueless on what to do here- Guys say women are complex, but I think its men that are

  5. #4
    Wiseman2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    22,431
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    16601
    It sounds like you weren't getting what "you need right now" and broke up with him by suggesting "space". So of course he's retreating.
    Quote Originally Posted by confused345678 [Register to see the link]
    I suggested if he needed time to sort himself out. He said yes. As we broke up he told me he loved me- Then all emotions just stopped dead-

  6. Thanks confused345678 thanked for this post
  7. #5
    reinventmyself
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Posts
    6,352
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    4474
    I would tell him what you just told us. You are no longer a couple and as much as you like hearing from him, it's very confusing.

    So for the time being you need to limit communication.

    Tell him to let you know if anything changes because for now, you need to get busy with your life.

  8. Thanks Wiseman2, confused345678 thanked for this post
  9. #6
    Kaykayxo
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    185
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    93
    There are a lot of men who are like this.. if something is going askew in the financial department/work life or anything really that is a stress or distraction, they may withdraw. He probably knows he cannot give your relationship the attention or love it needs, and needs to focus on himself. Until he has resolved whatever is bothering him and is confident with his life he will most likely continue to be like this. That being said, it doesn't mean you should hang around forever waiting for him to be able to attend to you. I would be dating other people or do something to take my mind off the relationship....

  10. Thanks confused345678 thanked for this post
  11. #7
    confused345678
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    37
    Thanked
    9
    I still feel like Im in the relationship with him- I would feel as if I was cheating if I dated someone else. I know that sounds crazy. Hes a good guy. We had a great relationship- I dont want to lose that- I dont want anyone else. Do I go no contact? I seriously dont know what to do???? I dont want to push him away either way, but I want him to realize the great thing we had and see that as valuable as his business and finances. We seriously discussed marriage. I get that he needs to get his business back to where it needs to be, but who knows how long thats gonna take- and Im here.......waiting??????

  12. #8
    confused345678
    Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    37
    Thanked
    9
    If hes focusing on his business- then why are you texting me? Do you want the relationship or not? Its majorly confusing

  13. #9
    Kaykayxo
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    185
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    93
    I get what you mean, as a woman it is really hard to understand when a man who loves you can't just say or make things right. It seems so easy (in our minds) for them to just say the right thing and get back, but who knows what is going on in his brain. I'm sure he is still fond of you, but the bottom line is he is not priotizting you and doesn't want to either. He cares enough to keep you on the back burner, checking in with you etc but he is not physically with you or giving you any of the benefits of a relationship.

    If you cling to this and wait around hoping he gets his sh*** together, chances are you will end up feeling bitter and wasting your time! Waiting on people who aren't even promising you anything is a recipe for disaster. Just try your hardest to focus on other things. I would def suggest N/C.

  14. Thanks confused345678 thanked for this post
  15. #10
    Wiseman2
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Cloud Nine
    Posts
    22,431
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    16601
    Sorry to say but keeping a roof over his head is more important right now especially since you gave him the "space" treatment when he couldn't give you "what you need right now".

    It was a humongous mistake to compete with his livelihood and tighten the screws on the attention you "need right now". Veiled breakup innuendos never work, they backfire just like this.

    The only way to fix this is is lay back and wait for him to reach out..
    Quote Originally Posted by confused345678 [Register to see the link]
    I want him to realize the great thing we had and see that as valuable as his business and finances.

  16.  

Page 1 of 6 1234 ... LastLast
Top Threads
How far should I go with unfriending/blocking on social media?
Hi all, I'm going hard no contact. She originally unfriended me on Snap and Twitter. I recently unfriended her on FB and IG. I also went a step
Should I message her again? Or leave her alone, possibly forever.
I was seeing a girl for 3 months. She never had a boyfriend before. But I didn't talk a lot, I was still getting comfortable around her. I didn't
Getting back with "bae"
Hi guys, I am trying so hard to get back with my ex-girlfriend. So a little background here is I went to high school with her for 4 years and then
I love you, but I'm not in love with you.
So my fiancÚ of 7.5 years has decided she isn't in love with me anymore so has broken up with me. Our situation is very complicated we have a 2.5
Ex not answering to my apology text
So I've posted here before about my situation and things went in a situation I don't like and quite frankly don't know about. So after ending the
Help me....please.
Me and my ex gf stayed for 4years and 8mos. Everytime we walk,eat,sleep, almost everytime; she's crying and saying ilove you. .......most of the
Ex-fiancee contacting me for Reconciliation...13 years later
Very few of you reading this now will remember what brought me here in 2004 - the breakup with my fiancee after 5 years. I was beyond devastated and

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
I love you, but I'm not in love with you.
So my fiancÚ of 7.5 years has decided she isn't in love with me anymore so has broken up with me. Our situation is very complicated we have a 2.5
How far should I go with unfriending/blocking on social media?
Hi all, I'm going hard no contact. She originally unfriended me on Snap and Twitter. I recently unfriended her on FB and IG. I also went a step
missing atm
I think what I miss at the moment is having a friend to talk to like we used to. She became the only person I really talked to for the better part
Mum boyfriend inapropriate
Hi everyone, thought i would share an update on whats happened so far. Thankyou all for helping me out yesterday, everything you all said was really
Girlfriend always mad at me
Me and my girlfriend have been togetehr for almost a year. I love her more than anything and i know shes not cheating on me or anything like that
I [F/26] found underwear in my boyfriend's [M/30] pocket.
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. Recently, my boyfriend asked me to look for some money, so I looked everywhere and I couldn't find it. I
Ex gf text me out of the blue
I guess I just want some feedback and honest replies as my head is completely gone again. Me and my ex gf have been in no contact for a few months
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •